Aayyyyyyy

HEAVY X MEDIC HEADCANONS

OKAY! GUESS WHO ACCIDENTALLY DELETED THE ASK SOMEHOW? I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I DID BUT IT THANOS SNAPPED ITSELF WHEN I PRESSED TAB SO.

Edit: Okay, so apparently it posted itself, that’s why. Here’s the ACTUAL post.

I’m glad I took a screenshot, I had a feeling this would happen.

@drjamjams​

Thank you so much for the kind words! I’m so stoked to be able to do this, and it means the world to me that people are enjoying my writing!

I do hope that this rewrite isn’t too messy. This is the ask that I lost yesterday, I did my best to recover what I could and add some extra!

Yall, please give me tips on how to wrangle this site. But without further adieu...

HEAVY X MEDIC

Medic had his eyes on Heavy from the beginning. Hell, who wouldn’t? An absolute bear of a man, stoic but kind hearted, caring for his sisters in Russia.

It was rare before he had met this man to have ever been respected for his work. Most of the time he would deflect comments with an alarming smile and a morbid joke (or by inserting extra organs inside of them next time he had the chance, though it could be argued that he does that to everybody), so when Heavy treated the doctor with respect from day one, he was smitten.

Smitten? Medic had no clue what his feelings meant. Perhaps it was a side effect of surgically adding those souls to his own body, but he couldn’t help being a bit less wound up around his comrade, even going so far as to tell stories of his own past in exchange for theirs.

Misha, on the other hand, never noticed this until the other mercenaries pointed out the clear favoritism. Even then, he assumed it was because they were good friends. Until they hit the battlefield, when they became gods.

Medic, quite like the Engineer, is practically nocturnal. He has no time to waste in his eyes, he has too many organs, experiments, surgeries to conduct. This man will manage to cram a surgery between two autopsies within the span of a few hours, but this means he will hardly eat or sleep until he’s satisfied with his latest abomination.

Why do I bring this up? It’s because Medic tends to crash outside of the med bay. A lot. 

Heavy is frequently the first to notice, and becomes something of a guard dog. He paces the halls, any and every noise swiftly shut down by a steely glare. 

Likewise, if Heavy is the one to crash, be it on a couch, the floor, or slumped over a table, the doctor will carry this man to bed. You’d be surprised what lugging around a heavy metal backpack and a medi-gun will do for your strength. Ludwig basically Disney-princess style wrangles his birds and helps lift him back to bed.

Once, Scout tried to pull a prank while Medic was passed out after one of his many week-long all-nighter streaks.

It’s safe to say Ludwig was not ecstatic to wake up to a medical emergency. This is something Scout will never overshare about.

If Heavy is being pocketed by Medic that day, expect to be stuck in respawn for the entire match. Not that it would matter, the team will still win! The two are an ubercharge machine.

Heavy is the only one who is allowed to pet Archimedes and the doves. Medic trusts that Misha won’t harm them or accidentally crush them.

It’s mesmerizing for the doctor to watch. It’s as if his large, calloused fingers become light as feathers, gently holding the little angels with such care, petting them in just the right places. The doves practically flock to Heavy whenever he enters the infirmary nowadays.

Likewise, Archimedes and Medic are the only ones allowed to touch Sasha. There’s nothing else to say here.

Heavy only ever shares his sandviches with Medic! Sometimes, Scout will badger him to convince Heavy to share with the others, too. Scout will also never overshare about the incident that followed. Starting to see a pattern here?

Matching pajamas. No, I will not elaborate.

Any chore list there is, Misha and Ludwig immediately pair up. If they change, they still insist on being together. During the change to the kitchen list (all mercs pair up save for spy, designated to a week in which they cook for the rest of the team), they immediately reach across the table towards each other, A gloved hand fit snug on top of that of the gentle giant.

“HEAVY IS WITH DOKTOR! NOT CHANGE THIS.” - Ten’s a crowd, chapter 8 I think. One that hasn’t been published at the time of writing this.

They’ll cuddle together on one of the couches if they know they have privacy from the rest of the mercs. Medic also uses Heavy’s lap as a pillow. Does this hurt his shoulders? Probably. Does he care? Nope. This man is stubborn and it shows.

Heavy is the little spoon. I rest my case.

I made a Miss Pauling refsheet!

Tired of searching “Miss pauling” on your favorite website as a reference, only to question your faith in humanity and debate turning on safe search for future endeavors? Me too!

I made a bonus picture to go along with this, which will be posted after since I’m very proud of how it turned out. Please don’t crop, repost, or otherwise tamper with the image below! This is purely made for reference purposes for artwork and the like!

*A poses gently*

Hope this helps!

Equinox Industries™ sincerely apologizes for the wave of disconnections from our Customers™.

As you may know, a highly respected member of the Equinox Family™ has broken our Trust™.

Our™ hard work was vandalized by an employee we used to hold in the highest regard! Her horrible actions have led to you, the customer, experiencing these delays in service and even full blackouts from our company list.

She has been booted from our Family™, and we are working to fix these issues with haste.

MANN CO MANN CO MANN CO MANN CO MANN CO MANN CO

- EQNX

!!!

So a decent amount of people showed interest about this when I gave the idea of this through an sfm poster I made, so I wanted to talk about it here! (Also to show off my work, im rather proud of it!)

Taking place during MvM’s arc, a few of Gray Mann’s bots malfunction and become creepily... sentient, if you could even call it that. They displayed keen interest in their real counterparts, most notably the bot medic. Deep within the tunnels that usher tanks into the scene, a makeshift infirmary was created, where they attempted to mirror the real RED medic, their medicine, their birds, and most of all their excitement. 

They would take pieces of worthless, broken comrades and spare them from incineration, instead repairing them. Unfortunately, they didn’t seem to understand their surroundings quite like he did, and in turn deactivated themselves. So, out of sheer loneliness, they saw one other option...

But enough talk about the Medic, who’s that Sniper?

Bot Sniper was just another pawn of Gray Mann’s, and a younger one at that, fresh out of the factory and emotionless just like the others. Hurriedly rushed onto the battlefield and clueless of what would become of them-- (not having an ai will do that to you) --and began to pick away at the enemy team. 

They aren’t sure what happened that day that allowed them to survive, but a stray rocket hit them square in the chest, exposing their circuitry and leaving them for dead. Yet, as the battle raged on, they held on by a thread, malfunctioning and twitching the entire time. And as it ended, Scout found them convulsing and sparking on the ground long after the mess of cogs had been collected and sold off. 

While he was initially tempted to put it out of it’s supposed misery with his trusty ol’ bat, he uh, wouldn’t tell ya this but he kinda felt bad for the little guy y’know? I mean, not like he didn’t enjoy bashing their heads in, but he was reminded a bit of his own sniper, who very much despised Scout despite his advances to try and be friends.

So, he carefully brought the bot all the way to the base. 

The others did not react well. After all, it could have tracking on it! it could self destruct! spy! what the hell was this kid thinking?!

But he was adamant, saying it couldn’t do crap. I mean, he wasn’t wrong, the bot had little to no function in the first place, but being moved around had... Changed something, wires crossed and code malfunctioned that enabled the experimental programs meant to allow for better fighting tactics in the other robots.

And in that moment of clarity, Sniper let out a fairly broken and staticky transmission.

[ H E L P - M E ]

...

But that’s all in the past. Who are these people, what’s up with scout’s leg? I suppose you may know in the future... Or not! :)

The day I saw RED.

The color of revenge.

Makin’ my way downtown (the tetrology)

it’s friday, post the dancing demoman

Dear goodness I hope I don’t come across as any of these. Same here that I won’t cancel your headcanons but I 100% agree.

For Sniper, I like to see it as he’s not the best with words, but he’s patient and while he may come across as nervous in a situation it’s out of surprise or out of being flustered. I don’t think he’s like that normally, since you can definitely see that he isn’t through his voice lines ingame.

He’s a professional after all!

Such in a shitty fucking mood today. Tell me about your LEAST favorite thing the TF2 fandom does. The worst widely accepted headcanon. Hatred rage violence. I'll probably bite someone.

OKAY, so I was a bit antsy about posting this but hopefully I got the tw tags right? If there’s anything else I need to / can do to prevent this from reaching people sensitive to blood or gore let me know!!

It’s just a bit of medic fanart, but I’m still getting used to this site so I don’t know how much forewarning is needed.

Oh btw! Someone sent in an ask so hopefully I’ll have some headcanons out soon. Heads up though, school is on weekdays obv and that’s when I usually write chapters for tens a crowd, so I don’t know if posts will be as common during those times!

The mercs going on a road trip? 👀

Arguing over who gets the front seat: Heavy and scout. Heavy needs his space, Scout is childish and wants to be in the front, and Sniper is just standing there like “I’d also like the front seat please my legs dont fit” but nobody listens because he’s Sniper. Eventually the two compromise and Scout ends up in Heavy’s lap. 

Keep Scout occupied, otherwise he’ll start screaming wheels on the bus to annoy the others for the entire. ride. (Or at least until someone tapes his mouth shut, a common occurrence.)

Alternates include: Beer on the wall, tongue twisters, what’s new pussycat...

Crammed into the middle: Demoman, Pyro, Soldier. Pyro is in the very middle and is restless, eventually they fill up the other’s laps with toys and crayon drawings. Soldier is just happy his hand isn’t being cut off at the moment, and Demoman doesn’t mind as long as he has a bottle of scrumpy for the long ride ahead. 

Designated driver: Also Sniper, or Engineer (and on rare occasions miss Pauling herself). Engie can stand being in the back seat for long enough to brave the ride, but he’s still backseat driving from there, calling out directions and making sure nobody does anything dumb to get them pulled over.

Crammed into the back: Medic and Spy. Spy would rather not disclose what he saw during the road trip, but it’s safe to say there was a lot of suspicious, muffled yelling from the body bags he just had to bring along.