BPD Culture Is Easily Starting To Hate Someone I Thought I Liked Only Because They Raised Their Voice

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i wish this anger would go somewhere else that isnt just myself or God forbid my fps im so angry im so constantly frustrated i hate i hate i hate and its so so so stupid i just want to Maul somnething and rip and tear it until its just cotton but i cant and i dont want that hate to be directed towards people i love even if my thoughts make me want to Yell Yell Yell so its just me im my own therapist i scream at myself i hate myself i want to bang m y head until it beleeds until i calm down and it just happens AgaiN AND AGAINand im so.

tired.

and none of the people i love will ever know, because it doesnt matter in the end, does it.

-🐊 (is it ok if you also tagged the previous post about finding out your fp has a partner with 🐊 ? i forgot to tag it in the moment)

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ND culture is getting very irrationally angry around midnight, and having no idea why… it could’ve been because I didn’t like the fanfic I was reading, or it could’ve been hormones, or it could be an ND thing, or maybe it’s some secret fourth thing (all of the above).

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BPD culture is getting a dry message from someone and thinking "Am I being annoying again?" or "I should shut the fuck up"

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its always "mental health matters" until you start showing symptoms.

bpd culture is misreading a text in a way that makes you think your fp hates you and almost giving yourself an anxiety attack at 4 am, but it turns out you just misread it and it's actually nothing serious

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i have tourettes where I say sudden funny things but never any slurs because I am good boy 😇 I have OCD but not the one that makes me really concerned about piss and shit but the movie one that makes me line things up properly nice and neat because I am a good boy 😇 I have bipolar but not the one that makes me act embarrassingly in public because I am on the highest point of a downward curving emotional pendulum swing, but the one that makes me creative af via safely utilizing my tendency towards extreme emotions in my art (because I am a good boy 😇) I have autism but it's the one like from the movies where I'm good at math or being a detective, and not the one that makes other people hate me so bad they want to kill me because I am annoying to them. because I am a good boy 😇 I have schizophrenia too but I also don't, because somehow in the cultural lexicon no one who has schizophrenia is a good boy and there is rarely a stylistic bullshit depiction of the condition, but I'm still a good boy 😇 society knows this. society knows this.

bpd culture is saying shit like “i’m starting to realize they made me worse” everytime one of your fps left you and then realizing that up to 80% of bpd symptoms go away when not in a relationship so yes, they did make me worse, but it isn’t any fault of their own. they were literally always destined to make me worse.

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bpd culture is thinking you're a monster when you first start splitting (or noticing that you're splitting) on other people, because no normal person would suddenly start hating their friends

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BPD culture is wanting to know who your fp is talking to and if they're talking about you, and if, god forbid, they are, what they're saying, at all times, because you're so scared they're secretly telling their friends how much they hate you.

And you also want to know when they go out and with who, so you don't have to find out from other people that they went out with mutual friends and didn't invite you, so you can stop feeling like they don't want you around.

-🐊🪐

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The bpd urge to just cut everyone off because they hate you and you hate them.