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A Clinical Analysis of Cloud's Psychology, Part I - Trauma, Dissociation, and Psychosis

This analysis was originally posted on Reddit, but I decided I wanted to archive it on this old blog too. This topic's been beaten to death already, but in light of the 25th anniversary stream and Rebirth trailer, I want to release my own take on Cloud's psychology using the lens of professional psychology. I'll cover a range of humanistic concepts and criteria from the DSM-5 (basically the bible of clinical psychiatric diagnosis) and tie them in with the lore of FFVII. Although the reasons for Cloud's identity crisis are well-known among OG fans, I'm interested in breaking down exactly why and how those factors resulted in his fabricated ex-SOLDIER persona within the context of real world psychology. I'm going to look into three main areas of exploration: trauma, identity, and reintegration. These areas will conceptualize how Cloud's experiences opened the gateway to pathology, how his understanding of himself is built and then shattered, and how the pieces come back together. This first post will cover the trauma piece, including the topics of dissociation and clinical diagnosis.

Part I - Trauma, Dissociation, and Psychosis [you are here] Part II - Identity, Self-Concept, and Mako Part III - Reintegration and Unconditional Love

One of the most common misperceptions about trauma is that any adverse experience will cause it. While it's true that adversity can cause stress, this belief undermines the remarkable resilience that humans have. The most important thing to consider is that everyone has resilience and the capacity for coping, but this differs from person to person. In the clinical context, traumatic experiences are defined as frightening, dangerous, or violent experiences that elicit strong emotions and physical reactions. People can also experience trauma by witnessing an event that threatens the life or physical security of a loved one (i.e. watching a parent die). When the stressfulness of a traumatic event exceeds a person's ability to cope, the stress becomes pathological and can be classified as trauma. The tragedy of Cloud's life is that his traumatic experiences are deeply stressful and essentially occurred back to back. Each event ticks off multiple boxes for the likelihood of trauma, and then Cloud essentially experienced them in succession, if we assume that his sense of time in Hojo's laboratory was warped due to catatonia.

Dissociation

Different people have different reactions to the same traumatic experiences, and the ex-SOLDIER persona is a unique one. Although we know Cloud's ex-SOLDIER persona is his primary consequence, there's a clinical way to contextualize what purpose it serves. Cloud's headaches are used as a constant indicator that something isn't right with him. His headaches are even described in the FFVII Remake Ultimania within his character profile (translation provided by aitaikimochi):

Cloud suffers from sudden headaches that last for brief moments. This pain is usually accompanied by flashes of his childhood, his fated opponent Sephiroth, or pieces of his past. There are times when visions of the future get mixed up as well. His headaches are filled with mysteries. Perhaps there might be more than one cause of these headaches that plague him...?

Aside from serving as narrative hints, the headaches are also connected to experiences of dissociation. Dissociation is a common consequence of trauma that center around a detachment from reality as a defense mechanism. It has numerous features, some of which open the gateway to psychosis. Let's focus on the specific features that are integrated into Cloud's story.

Memory

Memory is the largest piece of Cloud's dissociation since his ex-SOLDIER persona requires him to ignore key memories. At the start of FFVII, Cloud experienced problems with remembering anything between the Nibelheim incident and his arrival in Midgar. You could argue that Cloud has selective retrograde amnesia, but his memory between the time he left Nibelheim to join SOLDIER and the Nibelheim incident is deeply distorted, rather than unclear or largely missing. This hints to us that Cloud's memory problems are a function of dissociation, which is commonly invoked in trauma victims to protect them from memories of their traumatic experiences. Cloud's case is more complex though, since he also experiences identity problems. Even though sense of identity is also a feature of dissociation, we'll talk about it later in Part II.

Hearing voices 

Hearing voices can be considered a part of dissociation when the voices are internal, or inside the head. It's when they are external and appear to be coming from outside the body that we begin to think of psychosis. This is where fantasy starts to blur how we can interpret Cloud's psychology. Cloud mainly hears two different types of voices during his journey: Sephiroth's voice, and his own voice. Cloud hears Sephiroth's voice taunting him from time to time, and it is an external voice. However, it's important to recognize that Sephiroth is a true external influence with his own agenda. Therefore, we can assume that it really is Sephiroth speaking to Cloud, not just a fabrication of Sephiroth in Cloud's head. We know this because when he experiences a headache, Sephiroth's voice often comes after. Basically, the more unstable Cloud's identity becomes, the more he mentally vulnerable he is and the more he hears Sephiroth's voice.

The other voice, Cloud's own voice, is internal. The problem is, sometimes it's tricky to tell whether it is functioning as dissociation or as a storytelling device. The key to understanding this is recognizing that this internal voice is meant to represent Cloud's real self. Cloud's identity crisis is the core of his pathology and is portrayed as a suppression of his real self. The times when he does hear his real self appear to be moments of clarity. In this case, the voice of Cloud's real self is understood as a sign of deconstructed identity; this voice is a manifestation of dissociation.

Intense Flashbacks

Intense flashbacks are another common feature of dissociation. Again, our perception of this concept in Cloud is somewhat unclear due to the fact that flashbacks are also a storytelling mechanism. However, we can use Cloud's headaches as an indicator of whether he is recalling a memory voluntarily or involuntarily. Cloud's involuntary flashbacks are shown to be disruptive and disorienting. They will initiate sometimes due to triggers in the environment, but might also occur out of the blue. Again, these flashbacks largely tie back to Cloud's identity crisis, so it's safe to say that this is another feature of his dissociation.

Reality Testing

Reality testing refers to a person's ability to understand and distinguish the external and internal world, or reality and fantasy. When someone has problems with reality testing, he experiences hallucinations. For the most part, Cloud is able to grasp his reality and navigate the environment just fine. It's either when something in the environment triggers Cloud's memories or when Sephiroth reaches out to him that he experiences intense hallucinations, which are indeed moments of dissociation. Again though, it's sometimes hard to tell if these are fabrications of Cloud's mind or if they are purposeful illusions created by Sephiroth, especially since other party members can sometimes see Sephiroth as well. But, even though there are moments where Cloud seems to have trouble distinguishing reality from his imagination, these moments are better explained by Sephiroth's influence. Therefore, I wouldn't say that Cloud's hallucinations are a sign of psychosis.

The other complicated piece here is the knowledge that the existence of Cloud's ex-SOLDIER persona is an inherent rejection of reality. Essentially, the ex-SOLDIER persona is like a delusion, a fixed belief that is resistant to change even with the presence of conflicting evidence. Cloud has to reject the reality of who he is, what happened to him, and Zack's existence in order to keep himself grounded. This is maybe subject to change now in Rebirth, but as far as the original story goes, Cloud begins to doubt himself once he is told that his memories actually belong to another person he can't remember. So, should we still talk about psychosis?

Real World Disorders

Before we proceed, a disclaimer. I do have professional training in clinical diagnosis and psychotherapy, but ultimately I'm still playing armchair psychologist. This is just my personal take on Cloud's psychology.

When I talk about psychosis, this refers to a remarkable disconnect from reality (see the NIH). Psychotic episodes can involved disturbed thoughts and difficulty with understanding what is real and what is not. It seems appropriate to discuss psychosis in Cloud's case given that his dissociation does make us question his understanding of reality around him, including what he remembers.

One of the most common things that I've seen people speculate is Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) due to the implication of the ex-SOLDIER persona as a distinct personality. DID was formerly called Multiple Personalities Disorder, and it's pretty much what it sounds like. The key feature of DID is the presence of two or more distinct personalities that alternate in the conscious. Most of the the time, each personality (or alter, as it's often called) is unaware of what the others are doing when they have control of the conscious. See Marvel's Moon Knight for an excellent recent portrayal of DID. There's a lot of dispute about what causes DID, but the general consensus is that DID results from the combination of childhood trauma, mostly abuse or neglect. To best explain it: "in DID, traumatic memories are decontextualized and processed to retain internal and external balance, which leads to formation of alter personality states each with a sense self and agency, personal history, and a mission" (Şar, 2014).

Despite this, I'd argue we cannot say that Cloud has DID as we understand it in the real world for several reasons. The most important aspect is that Cloud doesn't consistently switch between his ex-SOLDIER persona and his real self - in fact, his real self rarely if ever comes out explicitly. Rather, it looks like as long as the ex-SOLDIER exists, the real self is suppressed. This specifically tells us that Cloud's experiencing an identity issue. Furthermore, people with DID present remarkable problems with reality testing regardless of external influences. The times that Cloud sees and hears Sephiroth are arguably still partly hallucinations, but we already established that Sephiroth is deliberately messing with Cloud's sense of reality and identity in some form. He's purposefully taunting Cloud, especially when others cannot see him. We know that Sephiroth is literally reaching out to Cloud, that this isn't all happening inside Cloud's head. Therefore, Cloud's hallucinations are likely not a sign of psychosis, and it's unclear if we can even call them hallucinations in the first place.

If I had to give an armchair DSM-5 diagnosis to Cloud, I would suggest that he has Delusional Disorder. This disorder shares some features with Schizophrenia, but does not include hallucination as a symptom. More importantly, delusional disorder doesn't feature "bizarre or odd behavior" that's often seen in other psychotic disorders. Outwardly, people with delusional disorder don't appear delusional unless the subject of the delusion is involved. I do still hesitate with this diagnosis though, mainly because Cloud ultimately does respond to information that challenges his delusion. The DSM-V does specify that "individuals with delusional disorder may be able to factually describe that others view their beliefs as irrational but are unable to accept this themselves." When Cloud is explicitly confronted with information that is inconsistent with his delusion, this in fact opens the gate for Sephiroth to convince him that he is essentially not real. If he had delusional disorder, Cloud would have continued to reject reality.

The fact of the matter is that Cloud's ex-SOLDIER persona cannot be fully understood in the context of real world psychosis. The fantasy elements of FFVII complicate diagnosis, especially considering when and how the ex-SOLDIER persona was born. Plus, I wouldn't pathologize Cloud this far given that I don't think real world psychosis best explains what happens to him. While Cloud's ex-SOLDIER persona appears to be a delusion, it doesn't present negative consequences unless he's presented with conflicting information and is vulnerable to change when challenged. Essentially, we can partly understand the ex-SOLDIER persona as an ongoing dissociation that serves to protect Cloud from the memories of traumatic experiences. But, I wouldn't go so far as to give him a DSM-5 diagnosis.

Basically, we can't fully conceptualize Cloud within the realm of psychosis or personality disorders. Rather, his dilemma revolves around the deconstruction of his identity, which I'll discuss in my next post.

1/3 Compliments for your posts, I totally agree. If that, to some extent, is a common tendency of every fandom, it can be said that FFVII one is overly crazy. Zack is another good example of how people try to force the most desperate excuses to deprive a character of its importance because they don't like the consequences of his role.

2/3 "He's just an NPC with insignificant screetime! His scenes are even optional!" So why SE decided to make him the protagonist of a standalone game of the compilation? How can it even be labelled as fan service if he is so irrelevant in the first place? It doesn't take much to realize that without Zack FFVII can't even start in the first place, but before Remake a consistent part of fans even denied CC canonicity. And some are still not convinced.

3/3 It's funny because I've never seen anyone complaining about Cid's behaviour toward Shera but tons of scenes and quotes taken out of context to prove that Zack, Tifa or Aerith are mean characters and should be cut out of the picture. That's pretty self-explanatory of how much people tend to insert themselves in one of the two romantic sub-plots and take it personally, ignoring that neither is the core of the story but they both play a role in the plot. SE really has a tough nut to crack!

They most certainly do, and I would like to believe they aren't taking into consideration all this ridiculous discourse, and just concentrate on their writing. Maybe it helps that, at least from my observation, the JPN side of the fandom doesn't go on about the same stuff we do—at least from these extreme angles.

Zack is another interesting one, and at that point I'd have to have someone define what they exactly mean by "fan-service". The way people view this too, can be strange. Saying Zack was a plot device in the first OG is pretty accurate role-wise, despite being an important one, and I always considered CC to be for the purpose of making up for his characterization by digging into who he was and what his story did for the series. Pretty standard prequel, in this way, with the creative freedom to add more layers not previously known. This is...pretty typical for many franchises. I always felt like, CC is what would've been reminiscent in the OG if the issues of his late development (as a character) and focus in the story had more time. No matter if someone likes it or not, the objective understanding still comes from recognizing its place in continuity and the impact it has on the wider narrative of FFVII—Zack's character literally is written to do this. It's just storytelling. Something that does this is no more fan-service than anything else that's created for an audience and actually has an importance to the story. If CC is fan-service, so is OG, AC (or the separate Complete version), or the Remake. Even if you find it "unnecessary", Zack's character and his story don't abide by this connotation.

Which like, that starts a conversation on the whole "need" ideal that fans have about supplemental materials or extended storytelling, which sort of connects to this based on the "This character or story isn't needed for THIS story!". The issue being that, I think a person's "point of refence" of necessity is off—what they're basing the need for and to. Zack, and all the previously mentioned posts for Tifa, Kairi, Kristoff, etc.—it's like I said, someone an just have a perspective that can write off characters, but that's literally just changing the story, and coming from a point of reference that is just off.

We shouldn't always base an entries "need" in totality only from a reference point of a previous work. This just doesn't always equate to the value of said entry. Any sequel that isn't following a cliffhanger of its predecessor can be deemed "unnecessary" then, by this logic, but obviously it would be beyond trivial to mark any story that continues to extend the storytelling of a world and its characters as this for....what, exactly? To just put it down? The funny thing about CC, is that it IS necessary if your intention is to understand more about that missing slate of the story and to understand Zack's character in more depth.

New headcanon unlocked

Sephiroth is constantly like nonstop scattering feathers in remake/rebirth even when his wing isn't out so either some other part of him is also feathered or he like collects all the ones he molts and tosses them like confetti whenever he wants to make an entrance

We need to make the most of the time we have—to live our lives the way we wanna live. Every minute...every moment, matters.

A couple of interesting references

Toward the end of Chapter 8 of the Remake - like in the OG - Cloud sneaks away from Aerith's house headed to Sector 7, but Aerith is already waiting for him at the border to Sector 6.

This scene is very important since it's the one where Aerith willingly decides to follow Cloud, the moment that sets into motion her adventure and that will lead her to her destiny.

Fans immediately noticed that the way Aerith appears from behind the debris and the way she walks away recall what happened in the dream that Cloud had in the OG, where Aerith told him she was going to stop Sephiroth alone.

When she starts walking Cloud has one of his headaches, the camera focuses on his right hand (the one he stretched trying to stop her in the dream) and he sheds a tear.

This seems to be another omen of her death - probably it is -, like he previously had at the church, but this short sequence hides also another compilation reference that probably most of western players didn't notice, since it went lost in the English localization:

When Aerith approaches Cloud saying "Because I'm not sick of you yet!", in Japanese she uses a sentence that she already used in Crisis Core with Zack: "I'd like to spend more time with you"(the comparison between the two Japanese lines will sound clearer here). Also her pose, with her hands behind her back, is the same of Crisis Core, and I can't say to what extent it is relevant in this scene, since the Zack-Cloud relation is often matter of debate, but Zack took the note with his right hand too.

I don't think this is casual. At first I thought it was just another Zack-Aerith references like many others during Chapters 8 and 9, but I think this one has a deeper meaning:

Aerith gave Zack the note before he left for Nibelheim, and she apperared in Cloud's dream when she left to go to the Forgotten City:

in both cases it was the last time the characters "spent" time together

in both scenes they promised to go back after they accomplished their missions (very Loveless)

and in both cases...they never came back again.

Aerith's decision to go alone to summon Holy led her to her death, and Zack's decision to go back to Midgar after reading the note - the most dangerous place for him - led him to his death too.

I can't say if this correlation will be relevant in the future parts of the Remake but I thought it was noteworthy, especially because it links up so well with the leitmotiv of Reunion.

Family gathering

1/2 Hi! What's your opinion about Aerith's resolution scene? It feels like most of fans are more interested in convenient interpretations to confirm/discard the CA ship, without really wondering, from a narrative standpoint, "why", of all the things Aerith could warn Cloud against, she touches the romantic subject? And so early in the story too. Romance in FF7 is often treated by fans as a standalone thing more than something that is interweaved with the main story and has a role within it.

2/2 Should we now re-evaluate the weight of CA relationship in the OG? I never felt like Cloud had more than a crush on her or her death broke him. But when a compilation expands in such a relistic way, the main story needs to be retroactively reinterpreted (like what happened with CC). I'm also wondering what significance we should give to the black floating feathers in this scene (the most visible one appearing when Aerith prays – hard not to think about Sephiroth). PS Sorry for the bad English

Don’t worry, your ENG is fine here!

Anywho, it’s quite the subject isn’t it? I often speak on how sometimes the foundation of a fan’s understanding of the Remake is grounded by their understanding of the OG. Which does make sense and have its merit, but it can also lead to a lot of biased views if there isn’t a consideration of the Remake’s way of storytelling. That’s why we have less of a reasonable spectrum of thought, and more of these black and white interpretations you mentioned floating around. I’ve seen a lot of “Aerith is telling us a fact: Cloud’s feelings aren’t real!” vs. “Cloud confessed to Aerith that he’d fall in love with her!”.

It doesn’t take much time to realize who is saying what.

The first example is talking about something that hasn’t happened yet (e.g. Cloud confirming Aerith’s words), and the second example is talking about something that, by the scene itself, just didn’t happen anyway. From a narrative standpoint and with an understanding of the story of FF7, this part of Aerith’s Resolution reflects two points: Cloud’s false memories/self and Cloud’s feelings for Aerith—more directly, the premise that if Cloud falls in love with Aerith, his feelings won’t be real due to the state of being he’s in. Additionally, this resolution essentially acts as a reflection of Aerith’s GS Date but with twists—the first being that her thoughts on Cloud’s falsity is not tied to the correlation of his similarities to Zack, and the second being that it adds a dash of something more reminiscent of the dream/forest scene (if anything, the Resolution is almost an applicable replacement of it in general). Death, cherishing time left and memories, and Cloud not being completely himself—there’s a lot of foreshadowing here.

This is where people typically use their takes on the OG to formulate a conclusion for Aerith’s premise, as you’ve seen above, with even some extending alternates. For example, that the real reason Cloud’s feelings wouldn’t be real because he’s really in love with Tifa already and is incapable of feeling anything for anyone else as he is.

But my take?

To be upfront, this scene sets up the idea that Aerith is wrong in regards to the romantic storytelling between the two of them. That yes, his feelings (in this case, that of “suki” [すき, romantic like/love when used for a person]) are going to be real despite the state he’s in. Not to mention, it isn’t an “if” he has romantic feelings, because it goes against all reason and understanding of anything else in this scene to suggest this premise was written for the sake of something that won’t happen or won’t be addressed. Even if she is right, this is only effective writing if yes, Cloud indeed falls for her and thought those feelings were real, and thus, finds out that he truly doesn’t feel that way once he regains his true self. There’d be no point to this line if he doesn’t feel this, otherwise for the sake of writing, it would’ve made more sense for her to suggest that what she just talked about (the memories/moments/happiness shared) were going to be what wasn’t real, specifically.

Until further information tells me otherwise, I believe Aerith is going to be wrong because of how the OG and relevant material presents what Cloud retains once he regains himself.

Let’s get into it.

Unlike the OG, Aerith is presenting the falsity of Cloud not through her own feelings, but that of HIS. She’s not assuming that the mantra of “embracing the moments” is something that Cloud won’t retain—it’s just the romantic feelings that will grow from them. We don’t have to worry about whether what Cloud retains from these moments and memories of Aerith are false. Why? Because that was completely fine in the OG. The moments, memories, and the bond they shared were all real to Cloud after he regains himself. And obviously, not just with Aerith, but with all his companions. If he didn’t retain what he gained while Aerith was alive, he just simply wouldn’t have any reason to value Aerith, it’d almost be like he doesn’t know her existentially at all. But that isn’t the case. Really, what he gained with his companions was never put to the test of falsehood in the first place.

But the romance? So specifically?

The “why” of everything that is said in this scene is done for some narrative purpose, representing future events and themes to be further implemented down the line. In a literal conversation about romantic feelings to be confirmed or denied story-wise—this is romantic storytelling, and whether you like it or not, it has been issued between the two characters. And of course, I believe it should make someone re-evaluate their understanding of the OG—not in the way where the story itself begets change (like that of the effect with CC, as you mentioned), but more so in realizing that the Remake is just a more expressive reflection of the romantic storytelling that was already in the OG. The writing and approach of the Remake is different than that of the OG, as we can even see between the expressions and details expanded on, like say for Cloud and Tifa’s bond and what that alludes to later down the line as well. This same thing is done for Cloud and Aerith, and what may not have been as openly expressed, is now done so too.

In the OG, the romantic storytelling between Cloud and Aerith played on the typical RPG standard of player-story interactive choice, but was contained in that by not having the story clearly address those choices through Cloud’s character after he regains himself. That and all relative materials like interviews or guidebooks relative to the OG—we only have a few direct romanticisms and some that can be argued as indirect given context. It’s not absent, but it’s unclear to the point it’s a discussion people still have 20+ years later. Also, by those possibly confused, player choice does not eliminate this through character representation—I’ll digress as it’s a whole other thing.

Cloud’s time with Aerith isn’t a mystery—we see everything between them and experience it as the player. We know what did or didn’t happen, what could be expressed, and what we’re left with in regards to romanticism is more of an unaddressed, almost irrelevant idea. What’s represented openly instead is everything else about their important bond, basically. Romanticism—it’s all in the air, not invalidated, but also not further represented for the character in the things referenced afterwards, like Cloud mentioning his memories of her, wanting to see her in death [Promised Land], Aerith being a friend, comrade, irreplaceable, etc. His time spent with Aerith was still something Cloud kept with him.

So, if the question for the OG is: did Cloud retain any romanticism for Aerith as a cherished feeling/memory, too?

I believe by right of the storytelling values presented in the game, that yes, he did. While the game and other materials make no attempt at trying to elaborate on Cloud’s favor towards Aerith, they also don’t negate it in void either from his character. A general good rule of thumb: usually when you have romantic meaning issued between two characters, whether through parallels, symbolism, other characters, the characters themselves, etc.—if it’s something that isn’t confirmed (e.g. confessions or explicit showing of romantic interest) OR isn’t countered or denied significantly (obviously not including the typical false denial by a character), then typically, you go with the positive-end that the representation there does indeed confirm that romanticism.

Think about it like this: remember that show you watched where the two lead characters had romantic subtext, but the show ends without them getting together? Yeah. If you’re at the point of claiming romantic subtext, you’re not doing so for the sake of saying the authorial intent is to show non-romance, but to show romanticism in a subtle way. There are a myriad of writers who have this style, and getting a direct confirmation or explicit showing of romance isn’t always in the cards for how that storytelling is going to be expressed. But, that hardly erases what is still intended to be understood.

The thing about Cloud and Aerith, the romanticism that can be understood from Cloud IS indeed never confirmed, not like how it was for Tifa. Which, I do advocate this actually does showcase how his romantic feelings for Tifa have a further depth than of that for Aerith given the lack of relevancy in comparison. However, his feelings for Tifa don’t negate what he felt for Aerith in totality, not to the point of being evidence of absence. The OG and further materials paint the picture that, after Aerith’s death, Cloud still remembers and cherishes her as a comrade—the memories, the moments. All of it. What’s understood is that everything that Aerith was to Cloud was carried over and fueled his reason to want to see her even in death—if romanticism was a part of those memories, those moments, no matter how small in the grand scheme of their connection, we can’t cherry pick it out of existence just because it doesn’t take expressive priority. From the game itself, I would use the “positive-end” method to understand that the romanticism there IS a part of the character, and if I include representations from other media or interviews, the authorial intention becomes much more clear.

As for the depth of these feelings? Again, Cloud’s time with Aerith isn’t a mystery. Whatever happens during that part of the game IS the depth of the feelings. I won’t identify it as a “crush”, but I just know it wasn’t deep enough to cause conflict in his relationship with Tifa because rationally (and by general storytelling standard), it would if so.

In any case, without a specific negative address of that romanticism, we can’t reasonably split apart what Cloud felt for Aerith from everything else he retained from his time spent with her.

And that’s what the Remake is basically addressing, pretty directly this time. I feel that way about a lot of things, and I absolutely believe the story is better off with it as we’re reaching more avenues for telling the FF7 story and development. What we’re getting here is something more direct and expressive than the OG, as I believe we will for most things, like we already have with Cloud and Tifa, Tifa and Aerith, and even Zack and Aerith. It’s doing much more. One could say that it might be making more of the romance than it was in the OG, but to me, I believe it’s about the same. The subject matter being brought up directly won’t change that on its own, but it’s curious that it was brought up this way.

So, if the OG didn’t represent the meaning of Aerith being right, that anything of which Cloud has for Aerith was made to be false after he gained his true self, then I don’t believe the Remake has a reason for doing it either. This is reinforced by the fact that Aerith being right just isn’t congruent with a lot of the other themes happening in the story there. It makes no sense to pinpoint the romantic feelings specifically as something Cloud didn’t feel—and again, his feelings for Tifa shouldn’t be it. How they decide to show the “answer” is up for thought as writers, as discussed, will find many ways to give meaning from their story. If the writing is consistent, what some CA fans expect won’t be what they will get, but CT fans acting like the meaning from the resolution won’t pop up ever again are already missing the point, too.

There are other interesting things though, like Aerith’s thoughts on death and this lifestyle point of view—how this connects to her hatred of the sky and those she has lost will be an interesting point for her character. Maybe even the anticipated arc of her time in death within the Lifestream and reuniting with Zack. We might finally get solid context for that. As for the black/dark feathers, I’m not sure if it even is, but it would certainly match the motif, like at the very beginning when Cloud is in the reactor. It flying by like that could simply be part of the reference to her death.

A Glimpse into Cloud's Mentality in Advent Children

This is kind of meant to serve as a companion piece to my three-part series on Cloud's psychology in Final Fantasy VII. I haven't addressed Advent Children Cloud yet, who arguably has an entirely different set of psychological problems to deal with. While OG Cloud was certainly driven by trauma, trauma was not his primary demon. Yet I often hear people say that AC Cloud definitely has PTSD or disorder XYZ. So, I thought I'd use my clinical background to break down what happened in Cloud's head during AC. I will not be discussing disorders here, since I'm saving those for another post.

Trauma

I know I literally just said trauma wasn't OG Cloud's primary demon, but that's why I specified OG Cloud. AC Cloud is in an entirely new context with a new set of problems, part of which involves how trauma affects his life after the main conflict is over. So to start, let's first answer the question of "Why does trauma stay with a person even after the cause of the trauma is no longer there?"

Think of the traumatized brain as a brain stuck in survival mode. It learned from a past traumatic experience that you can't afford to turn off this survival mentality, that you need to constantly be on alert. This is part of the primitive fight, flight, or freeze response that humans have, and for someone who is in a traumatizing situation, that response is absolutely necessary for coping with it. But, when you are finally safe and no longer in a dangerous situation, the traumatized brain may not know how to turn survival mode off. Therefore, it continues to provide a trauma response even in the absence of danger. This kind of mentality exhausts you and is why traumatized people still struggle even after they've been removed from their traumatizing situation. It's not that they don't realize they're safe now, but it's that their brains are stuck in this pattern of survival.

Although I wouldn't necessarily describe Cloud this way, this is still a great framework to explain what happened to him. During the events of FFVII, Cloud was in a perpetual state of survival. Once the planet was saved and Cloud could finally settle down in a place to call home, he was no longer in a state where he needed to constantly fend for his life. Cloud might still travel the planet for his delivery job and defend himself from monsters on the road, but the difference post-Meteorfall is that he now has a safe and secure home to return to in Edge. On the Way to a Smile: Case of Tifa even clarifies that Cloud was hopeful for the future right after the OG ended, that he had optimism towards the prospect of starting his newly peaceful life. Yet, he becomes unsettled by this peace partly because he was too used to surviving for so long. His trauma mindset couldn't turn off properly even when he wanted to relax and enjoy the peace he's earned, setting Cloud down a path of cognitive distress.

Oftentimes, when someone who has experienced trauma finally has the opportunity to process it, he is prone to something called rumination. In clinical terms, rumination can be described as a maladaptive perseverative cognition, or in simpler terms, a repetitive focus on distress. It's typically connected to catastrophic thinking (pondering about the worst possible outcomes/scenarios) and a fixation on loss. The American Psychological Association describes it as "obsessional thinking involving excessive, repetitive thoughts or themes that interfere with other forms of mental activity." Another working definition of it from the National Center for Biotechnology Information describes it as "a detrimental psychological process characterized by perseverative thinking around negative content that generates emotional discomfort" (Sansone & Sansone, 2012). The key to rumination is that though it can be self-reflective, it more often resembles brooding. Rumination is a feature of many different disorders, but most commonly associated with anxiety and depressive disorders.

Part of what sent Cloud spiraling was a pattern of ruminative thoughts in the absence of immediate external threats. He's living a peaceful life, but his survival mentality can't shut down easily. He has the time to ruminate on his past failures to the point of interfering with his ability to enjoy his life. If Cloud had used this rumination to put more effort into his job and his family, then he would've been using self-reflection. However, what he's fixated on is his own regrets, which created a pattern of brooding and pessimism. This type of regretful thinking surrounding death even has its own term.

Survivor Guilt

Survivor guilt used to be a diagnosable disorder in the DSM-III, but the DSM-IV reconceptualized it as a symptom of PTSD and the DSM-5 removed it as a symptom entirely (Murray, Pethania, & Medin, 2021). I believe it's because survivor guilt isn't a well-defined or well-researched phenomenon, currently putting it in an undefined territory between a disorder and a symptom. Once there's more empirical research in the field exploring survivor guilt, it may be reintroduced into the DSM, but otherwise it's an open avenue of continuous exploration. Regardless, this doesn't make survivor guilt any less significant or valid in the field of mental health, especially since it is often a part of complex trauma and grief.

Despite the grayness surrounding survivor guilt as a term, I can't think of a better one to describe what Cloud went through. Definition debates aside, survivor guilt generally applies to people who "survived" a traumatic event when others did not. Even though guilt is already a common symptom of PTSD, people with survivor guilt usually feel responsible for another person's death or injury, even when they never really had any power or influence over the situation. Cloud ruminates over Zack and Aerith's deaths due to survivor guilt, and he explicitly states his survivor guilt over Aerith's death in AC. Though neither death was directly his fault, he feels responsible for them in different ways.

For Zack, he felt helpless about how his mako poisoning left him completely dependent on Zack. Zack didn't have to save Cloud. He didn't have to carry him across the world for a year, only to die when they nearly reached their destination. Cloud's guilt surrounding Zack's death is very much in the thought of "it should've been me." Cloud should've been the one to perish, or if Zack simply abandoned Cloud, perhaps he would've made it to Midgar alive.

For Aerith, Cloud feels a greater sense of responsibility for her wellbeing. Their dynamic was established with the notion of Cloud being her bodyguard, as someone whose job is to protect her. Yet, he hurt her at the Temple of the Ancients, and he almost struck her when the party finally reunites with her at the Forgotten City. He was doing the exact opposite of what he was supposed to do. To cap it off, Sephiroth impales Aerith right before Cloud's eyes. Was Jenova preventing him from moving forward to try and save her? Or was Cloud just too paralyzed in the moment to act? Cloud would probably never truly know the answer.

Even when Tifa urges him to think of the present, Cloud feels weighed down by the past. He also asks Vincent if sins can be forgiven, showing that he feels deeply responsible for the deaths he could not prevent. We know that neither Zack's nor Aerith's deaths were Cloud's responsibility, yet he shoulders them anyway as though the blood was on his own hands. Survivor guilt is tough because it always concerns something that happened in the past that can't be changed. It's a product of rumination, of thought patterns stuck on the what-ifs and should-haves.

Grieving and Healing

The reality is, Cloud will very likely continue to struggle with this guilt throughout his life. He will never be able to answer the what-ifs, and never know what the should-haves could've done to change the course of history. If Cloud's going through a particularly tough emotional patch, he might fall back a bit into his old pattern of rumination. The dual process model of grief, depicted above, portrays how healing from grief is not a linear, one-way process. Rather, it can be a lifelong process where Cloud must grow around his grief, rather than letting it become a fixture in his life.

So, how do we know that Cloud is truly on the way to healing at the end of the day? At the very end of AC, after all the credits have rolled, we hear one final exchange between Cloud and Denzel.

Denzel: Is this somebody’s grave? Cloud: No. This is where a hero began his journey.

If I'm not mistaken, this may be the first and only time we've seen Cloud truly acknowledge himself as a hero. While this line can also refer to Zack ("Would you say I [finally] became a hero?"), this also clearly refers to the moment that Cloud took on Zack's legacy, therefore his hero's journey by extension. This is a far cry from "I'm not fit to help anyone."

The other beautiful aspect of this final scene is that it visually shows up how Cloud dealt with his guilt and grief. Look at Zack's final resting place at the start of AC compared to after. Before, Zack's grave was more or less neglected. The buster sword was left to rust and the ground is completely barren. The wolf, meant to represent Cloud's guilt and regret, is present there. Afterwards, when Cloud took the buster sword away, flowers bloomed in its place. The wolf is also no longer present. I like to think of this as a representation of how Cloud made the transition from guilt over Zack's death to celebrating Zack's life. Celebrating the life of a loved one who passed is one of the key ways to work through grief over loss in a healthy way. Rather than fixating on the what-ifs and regrets, grief work focuses on how to honor the loved one and keep their memory close.

The final shot then, with the buster sword placed in the tranquil Sector 5 church, is nothing less than a memorial to Zack and Aerith. The buster sword is clean again and free of rust, now in a sheltered place surrounded by Aerith's healing rain. It is now surrounded by life, in the place where Cloud was welcomed back by his loved ones and resolved to move forward. He can now think of the beautiful parts of Zack and Aerith's lives and cherish their memories, rather than ruminate on them. I can't say that Cloud's journey is a pinnacle example of healing from guilt and grief, but it certainly has a beautifully symbolic depiction of what healing looks like.

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