Andrew As Hedwig Portrait Because He Slayed So Hard In This Role

this might look bad but falsettos stardew valley thoughts with this picrew ->

itch.io

Stardew Valley Character Creator by Jazzybee

Make a character (or yourself) in the style of a Stardew Valley character portrait!

thoughts?

I might just draw them playing stardew valley

they deserve some peace in their lives 😭

PART 11 BABY, BOOYAH!

-

Evan: That's ridiculous! Jared doesn't have a crush on me!

Connor: Yes he does.

Alana: Yes he does.

Jared: Yes I do.

-

Jared: Where's Evan?

Zoe: Connor locked him in the bathroom...

Connor: Damnit, Zoe! You weren't supposed to tell him!

Jared: Nah, I'm cool with it.

-

Evan: I am darkness. I am power. I am your worst nightmare. I could kill a man in more ways than you can even imagine. I am the fury, I am the weapon, I am-

Zoe: A doll.

Alana: A cinnamon roll!

Jared: A sweetheart

Evan:

Evan: Stop it....

-

Connor: The hell is up with Kleinman? He's been laying there on the floor, for like, an hour?

Alana: He's just a little overwhelmed.

Connor: Oh really. From what?

Zoe: Evan smiled at him.

-

Jared: *Taps fingers on table*

Connor: *Taps back*

Alana: What are they... doing?

Evan: Morse code.

Jared: *Aggressively taps fingers on table*

Connor: biTCH YOU TAKE THAT FUCKING BACK-

-

Jared: Evan's gone! We can do anything. What does everyone want?

Miguel: I want Connor back.

Jared:

Jared: I've got, like, 12 dollars.

-

Alana: Jared isn't answering his phone.

Evan: I'll call.

Zoe: Me and Alana have both separately tried 6 times, what makes you think-

Jared: Hello?

-

Connor: The moon looks beautiful tonight.

Miguel: Mhmm.

Zoe: Should we tell them that it's just a tortilla we threw at the window earlier?

Evan: Ehh....

-

Connor: Your grounded.

Zoe: I'm... grounded?

Connor: Yes, your grounded.

Jared: We're gonna bury you until you learn your lesson.

Zoe: That's not how grounding works.

-

Jared: ARE YOU-

Zoe: Fucking.

Jared: KIDDING ME? THIS IS-

Zoe: Bullshit.

Alana: What are you doing?

Zoe: Evan took away Jared's swearing privileges, so I'm helping him out.

-

Alana: Why does Jared have a black eye?

Evan: He was saying 'Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me'.

Evan: So Connor threw a dictionary at him.

Connor: It was just to test a theory.

-

Looks like a cinnamon roll/Can actually kill you: Jared

Looks like they can kill you/ Is actually a cinnamon roll: Evan

Looks like a cinnamon roll/IS a cinnamon roll: Alana

Looks like they can kill you/CAN actually kill you: Connor

-

Zoe: Truth or dare.

Jared: Dare.

Zoe: Kiss the hottest person in the room.

Jared: Hey, Alana?

Alana: I-um-yeah?

Jared: Could you move, Evan's right behind you?

-

Jared: You have friends and I envy that.

Evan: You can share my friends???

Jared: *Looks at Alana and Connor*

Jared: Yeah, I don't want those.

-

Connor: Hey bitch, do you love Evan?

Jared: I guess, yeah.

Connor: HA! Take that, Zoe. You owe me one hundred bucks, I told you he was gay!

Jared: Dude, everyone loves Evan? You should have asked if I was in love with him.

Connor: I thought that was implied.

Jared: ...

Connor: ...

Zoe: Connor, I think you just earned yourself one hundred dollars.

-

Evan: *Sits down*

Alana: This bench is freshly painted :)

-

Evan: Oh my god, I think I like Jared.

Connor: Congratulations, you are officially the LAST one of us to figure that out.

Connor, turning his head: Hey, Miguel! I won the bet!

-

Miguel, looking at Evan and Zoe: They make a cute couple, don't they?

Jared, annoyed with Zoe and Evan at this point: They certainly are standing next to each other...

-

SPOOKY QUOTES!

Connor, high asf: Trick or YEET?

Child: Uh... yeet?

Connor: *Throws the child*

-

Jared, texting: So, what do you want to be for that halloween party?

Evan, texting: Yours :)

Jared:

Jared: Yeah, that would be pretty scary.

-

Alana: I thought you were setting up decorations for halloween?

Jared: I am.

Alana: Your just hanging up pictures of Connor.

Jared: You said you wanted scary decorations.

-

[In a horror movie... phone rings]

Evan: Yes?

Killer: I can see you.

Evan:

Killer:

Evan:

Killer:

Evan, panicking: Do I look good?

-

Evan: Guys, we're out of candy.

Jared: Wha... but there's only been, like, three kids so far?

Evan: Yeah, but this little girl told me she loved me and I panicked and just ended up giving her everything.

-

Evan: So.. what's your type?

Jared: Most likely someone who I'm not constantly on the same page with, who I can sort of argue with playfully and who likes talking about their interests. And like, their favourite season is spring, and their favourite holiday is Halloween, and their cute.

Evan: Oh, that sounds like me.

Evan: Too bad I'm not cute.

Jared:

Jared: Did I mention stupid?

Evan: Uh... no?

Jared: Well I meant to. Just making sure.

-

Jared: I'm not doing too well.

Jared: I have this headache that comes and goes.

Evan: *Walks in*

Jared: Oh, there it is again.

-

Jared: What are you, five?

Evan: Yeah,

Evan: Five heads taller than you.

Jared:

Evan:

Jared:

Evan: I am so sorry, please don't kill me.

-

Alana: Great work with the halloween decorations! Where did you get the fake skulls from?

Connor: F a k e ?

-

Miguel: It's totally fine you didn't dress up for halloween.

Connor: Oh no, I'm dressed up as a straight person.

Evan: *Walks in wearing the same thing as Connor*

Connor, looking at Jared: See?

-

Miguel: What should I be for halloween?

Connor: My boyfriend.

-

Alana: Jared! What is this?

Jared: My to-do list.

Alana: Oh, that's great! I'm so glad that your starting to-

Alana:

Alana: Jared, this just says 'Evan'.

Hi just wondering! Do you have an AO3?

yes I do!

I have more fic ideas in the works and one shots and such, but so far it's just a book of random falsettos fluff (that I hope to update soon).

here it is!

MORE DEH INCORRECT QUOTES HAHA!!! (Mostly Kleinsen; Warning lol)

-

Jared: Hey, are you okay?

Evan: Yeah.

Jared: You don't look okay...

Evan: Then stop looking.

-

Evan: Why are you drinking?

Jared: I drink when I'm depressed.

Evan: But you're always drinking?

Jared: *smug grin*

-

Jared, trying to comfort Evan: What's the problem? Anxiety? Low self-esteem? Obsessive thoughts of random arson? I've been there.

-

Miguel: I am in charge of this disaster!

Connor: I have a name, you know.

-

Jared: I have issues.

Evan: Finally, you admit it! The first step to redemption is to accept-

Jared: With you.

-

Jared: My only talent is being stress.

Alana: Don't you mean stressed?

Jared: No.

-

Evan: Are you ever going to listen to me?

Jared: Yes. Absolutely.

Evan: When?

Jared: When you're right.

-

Connor: You have your weirdly sincere humility.

Jared: I prefer the term "self-loathing", actually.

-

Jared: What? I'm not aggressive!

Evan: Last Tuesday, you wacked me with a pair of crocs and stole my chocolate chips?

Jared: Survival of the fittest, bitch.

-

Evan: Why are you on fire?

Jared: This is just how my day is going.

-

Evan: Dammit! You ruin everything!

Jared, finger-gunning: Your welcome.

-

Jared: *Seductively takes off glasses*

Jared: Wow...

Evan: *Blushes* Haha... what?

Jared: You're really fucking blurry.

-

Miguel: You remind me of the ocean.

Connor: Because I'm deep and mysterious?

Miguel: No, because you're full of salt and you scare people.

-

Miguel: When I said bring me something back from the beach I meant like a conch shell!

Connor: *Struggling to hold a seagull* Fucking say that next time!

-

Connor: I’m sad.

Miguel: Don’t be sad, because sad backwards is das.

Miguel: And das not good.

-

Jared: Wanna get out of here and grab a bite to eat.

Evan: I don’t usually eat with losers.

Jared: Neither do I but I asked you, didn’t I?

-

Jared: Remember what I told you.

Evan: 'Don't be a cunt.'

-

Jared: Hey, you wanna tarot card reading?

Evan: Those are Pokemon cards-

Jared: You got a magikarp.

Evan: ...

Jared: It means 'fuck you.'

-

Evan: Pardon the intrusion, but-

Jared: On this moment, or just my life in general?

-

Connor: I can never give Miguel shit because I’m jealous of him. He looks at his life and says, “Sweet! This is perfect!”

Connor: I look at my life and say, “Welp. Time to get drunk.”

-

Evan: How much did you spend on this date?

Jared: $1400. But all of it's on credit cards, so it's like $5 a month for the next 2,000 years.

-

Jared: You’ve got to learn to love yourself.

Evan: But don't you hate yourself.

Jared: Yeah, but this is about you. Stay focused.

If so, may I have a long fangirl-type chat with you about it?

I literally love music that's just one guy singing and it kind of sucks.

Oh, Incorrect Quotes Generator

-

Alana: Anyone d-

Connor: Depressed?

Jared: Drained?

Evan: Dumb?

Alana: -done with their work... what is wrong with you people...

-

This one's a bit more?? Um?? Non-kid friendly TTvTT

Zoe: Guys, is having a penis fun?

Connor: It has its ups and downs.

Evan: It's gets a little hard sometimes.

Jared: IT'S A PAIN IN THE ASS!

Zoe: Jesus fuck, you guys.

-

Evan: You're a loose cannon, Jared.

Jared: No, I'm not. I'm a cannon, maybe. But a loose cannon? Is that what you think of me?

Alana: I think you play by your own rules.

Zoe: No way, he thinks rules were meant to be broken.

Evan: Those are all attributes of a loose cannon.

Jared: No, I'm just a reckless renegade. Connor is the real loose cannon.

Connor: *Smashes a chair*

-

Evan, trying to convince Connor to join the group: You know... I just thought it'd be good to have someone to come along who's... strong!

Alana: And loud!

Zoe: And grumpy!

Jared: And oblivious to reality!

Connor:

-

Alana: What did you guys get in your yearbooks?

Zoe: 'Prettiest smile!' :)

Evan: 'Nicest personality!' :)

Jared: 'Most likely to start a bar fight.'

Connor: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one.'

-

Zoe: Bridge the generation gap by combining old and new slang into one!

Evan: Tubular AF!

Alana: Mood to the max!

Connor, annoyed: Groovy, I hate it.

Jared, just as annoyed: If she breathes she's a square.

-

Evan: You KIDNAPPED Connor?! That's illegal!!

Jared: But Evan, what's more illegal? Briefly inconveniencing Connor, or destroying our dreams?

Evan: Kidnapping Connor, Jared!!

Zoe: Evan, listen, whatever I may think of you right now- these people need you to inspire them!

Evan: What, to KIDNAP PEOPLE?!?!

Zoe: To work together!

Evan: TO KIDNAP PEOPLE!?!?

Jared: Evan, I thought we both agreed, a stoner is not a people.

-

Alana: Evan, stop! This isn't you! You've gone mad with power!

Evan: Well, of course I have.

Evan: Have you ever tried going mad without power?

Evan: It's boring.

-

Evan: .. .----. -- / ... --- .-. .-. -.--

Jared: What was that??

Evan: Remorse code.

Jared: I'm even angrier at you now.

-

Connor, high off his ass: I'm at least 10 times funnier and sexier than you.

Evan: But 10 times 0 is just 0.

Zoe: Then I guess the jokes on you, because he can't do math.

-

Jared: I can explain.

Evan: Can you?

Jared: If you give me 30 seconds to think of a lie.

-

Jared: If you were to vacuum up jello, it'd make a neat noise.

Evan: I beg to differ.

Jared: Then beg.

-

Jared: This is such a bad idea.

Evan: Then why are you coming along?

Jared: One of us needs to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this all goes terribly wrong.

-

Connor: *Accidentally hits Jared in the face*

Connor: *Can't decide between saying 'I'm fucking sorry', and 'Are you okay'*

Connor: ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY??

Evan: What is wrong with you?!

-

Evan: This is bothering me.

Jared: Well, you are digging up a corpse.

Evan: No, not that. That's, uh, pretty par for the course, actually.

-

Jared: You're the love of my life, and my best friend. I would do anything for you.

Evan: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule.

Jared: Absolutely not.

-

Jared: I was arrested for being too cool.

Connor: The charges were dropped due to lack of supporting evidence.

-

Jared: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I'll wait.

Evan: You and me.

Jared, tearing up: Okay.

-

Jared: God, give me patience.

Connor: I think you mean strength.

Jared: If God gave me strength, then you'd be double dead.

-

Connor: I prevented a murder today.

Alana: Really? How did you do that?

Connor: Self control.

-

Jared: I am not out of control! I am a law abiding citizen!

Evan: Name one law.

Jared: Don't kill people?

Evan: That one's on me. I set the bar too low.

-

Alana: Whaddaya call a fish with no eye?

Jared, not looking up from his phone: Myxine Circifrons.

Alana:

Alana: A fsh

-

Evan: I turned out perfectly fine!

Zoe: This morning you thought a ghost made your toast!

Evan: I DIDN'T PUT THE BREAD IN, Y O U DIDN'T PUT THE BREAD IN-

-

Jared: WHAT'S YOUR TYPE

Evan: Anything, honestly. But nerds especially.

Jared, desperately as Evan bleeds out: YOUR B L O O D TYPE

Evan: Oh! B positive.

Jared: DON'T TRY TO CHEER ME UP, JUST TELL ME YOUR BLOOD TYPE

Evan:

-

Evan: It's dark in here...

Jared: Don't worry dude, I've got this

Jared: *Stomps his foot on the ground*

Jared: *Heelies light up*

-

Evan: Treat spiders the way YOU want to be treated!

Jared: Killed without hesitation.

Alana & Evan, simultaneously: nO-

-

Miguel: Let's watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

Connor: Okay?

Miguel: And make out during the scary parts.

Connor: The-

Connor: The scary parts-

Connor: Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl?

-

Evan: Can you PLEASE be serious for 5 minutes??

Jared: My record is 4, but I think I can do it.

-

Evan: So that's my plan.

Jared: Are you fine with constructive criticism? I don't want to sound mean.

Evan: Sure, go ahead.

Jared: It fucking sucks.

Evan: That's not constructive criticism.

-

Jared: Fuck.

Alana: We've got to work on your cursing.

Jared: Why? I'm pretty good at cursing already.

-

Connor: Lol heads up if you try to make a candle with food coloring, the food coloring will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food coloring will catch fire and become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you'll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food coloring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter. Please take my word on this lmfao

Evan: What did you do-?

Connor: A MISTAKE-

-

Larry, with his back turned: I've been expecting you.

Connor: How did you do that without turning around?

Larry: I'm gonna be honest, the first couple of people I did that to were not you.

-

Evan: How petty can you get??

Jared: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.

-

Jared: Today is a day of running through hurdles.

Alana: Aren't you supposed to jump OVER hurdles?

Jared: Whatever. Fear is only something to be afraid of if you let it scare you.

-

Jared: May I sit there?

Evan: That's my lap.

Jared: That doesn't answer my question, Evan.

-

Jared: So.. are we flirting right now?

Connor: I'm LITERALLY stabbing you.

Jared:

Jared: That does not answer the question

-

Aftermath of the last one- lmfao-

Evan: I'm begging you, please go to the hospital-

Jared: Oh, i'm sorry, is this OUR stab wound? Stay out of it.

-

Jared: Do you have any skeletons in your closet?

Connor: Do you mean literally or figuratively?

Jared: The fact that I have to specify...

-

Evan: Jail is no fun. I'll tell you that much.

Connor: Oh, you've been?

Evan: Once. In Monopoly.

-

Evan: Your right.

Jared: That's... an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?

-

Jared: Petition to remove the 'd' from Wednesday.

Connor, high: Wednesay.

Jared: Not what I had in mind, but i'm flexible.

-

Alana: Man.. I only ever see you awake. Don't you ever shut down or stop running?

Jared: Oh, i'm always running.

Jared: The question is from what.

-

Evan: Top 30 reasons why Evan is super sorry! ..Number 5 might surprise you!

Jared: Top 30 anime deaths. Number One: YOUR FUCKING ASS RIGHT NOW!!

corpse bride in trousers au or something like that

new addition!! (Daphne SLIH + trans flag)

I’m still very much taking suggestions for these lol

Happy Two Days from Halloween! Have some quotes!! (Part 12)

-

Jared, to Evan: If Karma doesn't hit you, then I fucking will.

-

Alana: If you got arrested.. what would be the charges?

Jared: Theft.

Evan: Disturbing the peace?

Zoe: Aggravated assault.

Miguel: Arson.

Connor: All of the above. In that order, probably.

-

Evan: So, did everyone learn their lesson?

Zoe: No.

Miguel: I did not

Connor: I think I may have actually forgotten one-

Jared: Also no.

Evan: Oh good, neither did I.

Alana: *Exhausted sigh*

-

Jared: I'm the smartest person in my friend group.

Alana: You hang out with Evan, Zoe, Connor, and Miguel.

Alana: It's not as high a compliment as you think.

-

Connor: The floor is lava!

Alana: *Helps Zoe onto the counter*

Miguel: *Kicks Evan off of the sofa*

Jared: *Lays on the floor*

Evan: Are you.. are you okay-?

Jared: No.

-

Evan: Fine! Judge all you want, but-

Evan, pointing to Zoe, then to himself: Dated a gay person!

Evan, pointing to Jared: Left a man at the altar!

Evan, pointing to Alana: Fell in love with a gay ice dancer!

Evan, pointing to Connor: Threw a girl's wooden leg in a fire!

Evan, pointing at Miguel: And you live in a box!

-

Jared: Evs is too tall for me to kiss him on the lips. What should I do?

Connor: Punch him in the stomach. Then, when he doubles over in pain, kiss him.

Zoe: Tackle him!

Miguel: Dump him-

Evan: NO TO ALL OF THOSE! JUST ASK ME TO BEND DOWN!

-

*Squad's reaction to being told that their 'the chosen one'*

Alana: I will not let you down.

Zoe: Sounds fun.

Connor: K.

Jared: No, I'm fucking not.

Miguel: Do I HAVE to?...

Evan: Please God, I am so tired.

-

Evan: Is the slap mark still visible?

Connor: Your face looks like a don't walk signal.

Zoe: Your face looks like a photo negative for the hamburger helper box.

Alana: Gonna be honest... A palm reader could tell the person who did that's future just by looking at your face.

Jared: The phrase 'talk to the hand cuz the face ain't listening' doesn't work for you because the hand IS your face.

Evan:

Evan: Y'know, the word 'yes', isn't hard to say. At all.

-

Zoe: DUMBEST SCAR STORIES, GO!

Alana: I.. burned my tongue once drinking tea :(

Connor: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and it burned.

Evan: I have a piece of graphite in my leg from the first grade when I accidentally stabbed myself with a pencil.

Miguel: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave, and it spilled on my hand and I got a really bad burn.

Jared:

Jared: All my scars are emotional. Mostly because I'm not an idiot.

-

Evan: I am not at all proud of what I am about to say, but someone get me a cigarette.

Alana: But Evan, we don't smoke. And Connor hasn't for like, two months. Neither has Miguel.

Evan: Cut the crap... I'm not an idiot. I know that one in five people smoke.

Evan: *Points at Connor* One, *Points at Miguel* two, *Points at Jared* three, *points at Zoe* four, *Points at Alana* five.

Evan: Now, I am going to close my eyes, and when I open them, there better be a cigarette in my hand.

Jared: *Sighs*

Jared: *Puts a cigarrette in Evan's hand*

Evan: Thank you. ...Light?

*All simultaneously pull out lighters*

-

Alana: Christmas lights?

Evan: Check.

Alana: Thermos of hot cocoa?

Evan: Check.

Alana: Santa suits?

Evan: Check.

Alana: Shovel?

Evan: Check.

Jared: Alibi and bail money?

Evan: Chec-- wAIT WHAT?!

-

Evan: Jared kissed me!

Alana: Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!

Evan: It was just- so- unbelievable!

Alana: AAA! OH MY GOODNESS! OH MY GOSH!

Zoe: Okay, we want to hear everything. Alana, get the wine and unplug the phone. Evan, does this end well or do we need tissues?

Evan: Oh no, it ended very well.

Alana: Do. Not. Start. Without. Me!

Zoe: Alright, now let's hear about that kiss. Was it like, a soft brush up against your lips or was it a, you know.. "I gotta have you now" kinda thing?

Evan: Well, at first it was really intense, y'know? And then.. Oh God, and then we just sort of sunk into it.

Zoe: Ohhh... so was he holding you? Or was his hands on your back?

Evan: First they started on my waist in then they slid up and were in my hair.

Alana: Awhh!

Zoe: Ooo~

*Meanwhile*

Jared, eating pizza with Connor at his house: So then we like, kissed. I guess.

Connor: Tongue?

Jared: Yeah.

Connor: Cool.

-

Evan: Stressed.

Jared: Depressed.

Connor: Possessed.

Zoe: Obsessed.

Miguel: Impressed.

Alana: Chicken breasts-

Zoe: What the fuck?

Alana: Sorry, I know, I just wanted to join in.

-

Zoe: You know, when Evan comes over.. Connor can get a little bit...

Jared: Psycho?

Alana: Scary?

Miguel: Drunk?

Zoe: All three.

-

Zoe: Out of Connor, Evan, Jared, me and Miguel, if you had to, who would you punch?

Alana: None of you! Your my friends and I wouldn't punch any of you!

Jared: It would be Evan, wouldn't it?

Alana: ...Okay yes, but I don't know why.

-

Jared: Is it just me or is instant ramen better uncooked?

Evan: It's just you.

-

Connor: You spent all your money on THIS?!

Miguel, putting tiny raincoats on baby ducks: They live outside. They need this.

-

Connor: Honestly, I am so evil. So full of darkness. I feed on the souls of the living, I strike fear into-

Zoe: You sleep with a teddybear.

Connor: hE IS THE SECOND IN COMMAND OF MY ARMY OF DARKNESS!

-

Jared: Why don't humans have a specific noise that means "There are bees here, let's leave immediately." Why are elephants so much more advanced than us.

Evan: We do have a specific noise for it. It sounds like this:

Evan: "There are bees here, let's leave immediately."

-

Jared: Kill me nowwwwwwWWWWWWW

Evan: No can do. I need you for help with my homework.

*Insert Jared glaring at him*

-

Evan: N.. No!

Jared: A fair rebuttal. However, consider the counterpart:

Jared: Y...yes?????

-

Connor: Are you tall enough to play basketball, though?

Jared: Are you calling me short?

Connor: I'm calling you vertically challenged.

-

Evan: Tomorrow's garbage day.

Jared: I can't believe they made an entire day just dedicated to you.

-

Alana: Hey, aren't you Connor Murphy?

Connor: Are you a cop?

Alana: N..no?

Connor: Then yes.

-

Miguel: Life could be worse, Connor.

Connor: Yeah, life could be a lot better too!

-

Jared: Ah, ready for another fantastic day of being better than Evan.

-

Evan: Are you a masochist or a sadist?

Jared, deadpanning: I'm a Taurus.