MORE DEH INCORRECT QUOTES HAHA!!! (Mostly Kleinsen; Warning Lol)

Random DEH Incorrect Quotes I Found While Poking Around (Pt. Four) :

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Jared: You know what I've always wondered? How do tall people like you sleep at night when the blanket can't possibly cover you from your shoulders to your toes?

Connor: It's fucking four a.m.

Jared: So you can't sleep?

Jared: ....Is it because of the blanket?

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Alana: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of items you have lost throughout your life

Evan: Self-esteem! Haven't seen you in years!

Connor: Oh wow, childhood innocence! Can't believe you found this!

Zoe: I knew I lost that potential somewhere!

Jared: Moral code, is that you?

Alana:

Alana: I was just gonna show you this cool trunk my mom left me but do you guys need a hug?

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Connor: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses.

Evan: This knife is actually my magic wand.

Zoe: Meet me in the Denny's parking lot for a magic wizard duel.

Jared: *Cocks gun* Magic missile.

Alana: What the fuck is wrong with you people.

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Alana: There are seven chairs and ten kids. What do you do?

Zoe: Have everyone stand.

Evan: Bring three more chairs!

Jared: The most important ones can sit down.

Connor: Kill three.

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Good For You & Words Fail Be like:

Alana: Looking left because you don't treat me right.

Heidi: Looking right because you left.

Zoe: Looking up cause' you let me down.

Jared: Looking down cause' you fucked up.

Evan: What the fuck is wrong with you guys

a bit spicy, but hilarious nonetheless.

super-duper whizzer centric! third person hovers him the whole time, plus, worrylesswritemore is a damn icon and I have been both cackling and sobbing at their fics (if you want more I can scrounge around).

!!!!! DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY WHIZZER-CENTRIC FANFICS?? istg ive been looking but i cant find any

Random

Okay so, this is completely random, but when I sum up the Evan & Jared fight in DEH I get this and it hurts me emotionally and physically so:

Jared, pointing to himself: Hey, dickhead! Quit replacing me with Zoe! With the Murphys! With Connor! I’m your fucking friend, not some dead kid you didn’t even know!!

Evan: So now i’m your friend? As soon as it’s convenient for you, I am your friend, but as soon as it isn’t, it’s back to “That fuck-up Evan Hansen?! I barely know him”!!!

Evan: Maybe a dead kid is better than you, because at LEAST he won’t constantly fucking tell me off! Or be an asshat to me! Or deny our friendship every two seconds!

Jared: Fuck you!

Seriously why.

why.

why.

Ugh nobody is in the right here they both have way too many emotional issues

absolutely yes :0

ayo random but is that kleinsen discord still up? TvT

Still up and semi-active! Want the link?

but what if there was a fic for when rick and william move in together in the comic

and what if it was about them going through the stages before an official relationship really bubbles to the surface

and what if they kissed actually ☹️ and what if they went through a year of domesticity before realizing they were basically living as boyfriends anyways and that's why they start dating

and what if-

The experience of the average Marvin Trilogy fan is so funny, because most people start by getting obsessed with Falsettos, and only later watch In Trousers (specifically That One Bootleg. You know the one). Meaning you initially encounter Marvin partway through his character development. About 10 minutes into March of the Falsettos you’re going, “Wow, this man has so much wrong with him, thank goodness he’s going to therapy” (LOL). You keep watching, of course, and see him learn and grow. And then a few months later, you watch In Trousers and realize that when you initially said he was fucked up, you didn’t know the HALF of it.

DEH Incorrect Quotes Pt. 8 I Think??

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Jared: If I'm extra sarcastic with you it probably means I'm flirting with you or you really annoy me and I can't handle your crap... have fun figuring out which one.

Evan:

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Jared: I feel like doing something stupid.

Evan: I'm stupid.

Jared: ...?

Evan: Do me?

Jared: oH-

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Miguel: As the top of this relationship, I think we should-

Connor: I can't believe your pulling rank on me.

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Evan: I still have no idea how I'm attracted to you...

Jared: Too bad. You're stuck with me now, honey.

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Evan: My life is a mess.

Jared: Relax. Go get a beer.

Evan: I don't want a beer?

Jared: Who said it was for you?

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Evan: We vegetarians love the environment. Carnivores are sick freaks.

Connor: How can vegetarians possibly love the environment.. you keep eating all the fucking plants.

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Jared: I'm bored, any suggestions?

Alana, trying to get him to have a decent sleep schedule: Sleeping is nice.

Jared: I acknowledge your suggestion, and I’m deciding to ignore it.

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Connor: When life gives you lemons, what do you do?

Alana: Make lemonade! :)

Connor: No! You throw the lemons back up into the sky and make life deal with it's own shit!

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Evan: That's illegal, right?

Jared: Why do you care, are you fucking a cop or something?

Evan: No-

Jared: Then shut the fuck up.

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7 year old Zoe: I lost my fish, can you help me find it?

9 year old Connor, cooking the fish: What? Speak up, I can't hear you.

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Alana: Just be yourself, say something nice!

Jared: Which one? I can't do both.

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Zoe: Are you drinking enough water?

Evan: Sometimes my tears get in my mouth.

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Evan: I wanna die.

Jared: We all do, you're not special.

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Evan: Pick a card, any card.

Connor: Fine.

Evan: Wait, that's my credit card-

Connor: You said any card.

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Miguel: So, what would you do if you were in bed with me?

Connor: Depends. Is your bed comfortable?

Miguel: Uh yeah, I guess-

Connor: Then I'd sleep.

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Evan: Where are you going??

Jared: Hell, eventually.

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Zoe: Hey besties-

Jared: Die.

Zoe: What did I ever do to you-

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Evan: Jared, I sense hostility.

Jared: Good, because I fucking hate you.

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Miguel: Happy October 32nd! Second Halloween!

Connor: That doesn't exist-

Miguel: Not with that attitude.

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Miguel: I wanna be called cute 21/7.

Connor: Why not 24/7?

Miguel: Snack breaks.

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Connor, annoyed af: Why can't trees give off something fucking useful... like wifi.

Jared:

Jared: So then just fuck oxygen I guess.

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Alana: *Sharpens knife* We have ways of making people talk.

Alana: *Cuts piece of cake*

Evan: ....Can I have some?

Alana: Cake is for talkers.

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Evan: What are you drinking?

Jared: Vodka.

Evan: Straight???

Jared: No, gay. Why?

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Jared: GET BACK HERE YOU DUMBFUCK!

Evan: LET ME RUN AWAY FROM THE CONSEQUENCES OF MY ACTIONS!!

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Connor: I need you to come meet me, and I need you to come alone.

Zoe: And I need you to be less vague and weird-

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Alana, texting: Answer your phone

Jared, texting: Wait a minute, I can't find my phone.

Alana: Understood.

Alana, five minutes later: You're a terrible person. You know you're killing me. You're killing me, Jared.

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Evan: A mosquito tried to bite me and I slapped it and killed it.

Evan: And I started thinking.

Evan: Like, it was just trying to get food.

Evan: What if I went to the fridge and it just slammed the door shut and snapped my neck?

Alana: Are you ok?

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Miguel: What is the one thing I told you not to do?

Connor: Burn the house down.

Miguel: And what did you do?!

Connor: I made dinner.

Miguel:

Connor:

Miguel:

Connor: Okay fine. And burnt the house down.

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Evan: Hello, Jared. Made anyone cry today?

Jared: Sadly, no. But it's only 4:30.

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Alana: When's the last time you slept?!

Jared: Uh.. a few days ago, I think??

Alana: How many days?

Jared: *Starts counting on his fingers*

Jared: I need more fingers.

Alana: What yOU NEED IS S L E E P!

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Zoe: HELP! I'M DROWNING!!

Connor: Calm down, we're only in six feet of water.

Zoe: NOT ALL OF US ARE TALL!

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Jared: What'cha doing?

Connor: Stealing my neighbours cat.

Jared: Scandalous.

Jared: Can I help?

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Jared: Standing next to sunflowers always makes me feel weak like ‘look at this fucking flower. This flower is taller than I am. This flower is winning and I’m losing.’

Evan: Wow, you are not ready to hear about trees.

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Connor: *makes Miguel a cup of tea but puts salt in it*

Miguel: *sips tea*

Connor:

Miguel: *finishes tea*

Connor: Didn't it taste bad?

Miguel: Yeah, but I didn't want to hurt your feelings so I drank it all.

Connor, tearing up: Oh, okay.

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Alana: So I have made the decision to trust you.

Evan: A horrible decision, really.

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Evan: Hopefully, Jared has learned a lesson about respecting other people's feelings.

Jared: Oh shut up and die, Evan.

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Connor: Alright, listen up you little shits-

Connor: Except you, Alana. You're an angel, and we're thrilled you're here.

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Zoe: Can you pass the salt?

Jared: Can you pass away?

Zoe: Too much salt.

I DID!!! I CHEERED!!!

baby jason and young marvin are back who cheered

IM SORRY WHAT?

WHAT?

I LOVE THIS

Dear Evan Hansen: Character appreciation weeks

A fandom event to appreciate each character individually! Each week a new character—check out the full timeline here.

WEEK TWO: Jared Kleinman

From October 31st until November 6th

PROMPTS:

Friendship

Camp

Tech

Loneliness

Jealousy

Humor

Jewish

(prompts are optional, but you’re welcome to use them if you wish!)

Make sure to tag @sincerely-us so I can reblog your works!

SMALL WORK DOODLE