And Then They Get Mad At Us For Wanting To Be On Those Same Devices Instead Of Talking To Family That

Plot twist he IS one of the cones

I forgot what it's called, but you know those alien things that latch onto your head and control your mind? I think they're from metroid or smthn idk. do you think if you put a mini-cone on your head it could do that to you? IS THAT WHAT THE ROAD WIZ IS?

“Like c’mon, look at their lil’ face.”

Thanks for noticing

like in all seriousness your fangs look beautiful in this lighting. But we have to focus

Minecraft end game update ore

oh i see. because she is purpur.

JEEEEEEFFFFFFFFF!!!!!

A priest and rabbi are sitting on an airline next to each other 

The stewardess brings out their meals, the priest a pork dinner, and the rabbi a salad.

The priest turns to the rabbi and says “can I ask you a question?” the rabbi nods. The priest asks “you don’t eat pork correct?” The rabbi says “no it is forbidden in Leviticus. An animal must have split hooves and chew it’s cud to be kosher. A pig doesn’t qualify.” The priest asks “but have you ever tried it?” The rabbi says “yes, I must confess I did. In my younger days, before I was religious, I was somewhat rebellious I did try pork.”

The rabbi asks the priest “can I ask you a question?” the priest nods. The rabbi says “you can’t have sex, right?” The priest says “no. We must have undivided attention to God and not let marriage or sex cloud that focus so we agree to celibacy.” The rabbi says “but did you ever?” The priest says “yes, I must confess I did. In my younger days, before I considered being a priest I was a bit wild and did experience the pleasure of a woman’s flesh.” After a brief pause the rabbi says “beats a fucking ham sandwich, doesn’t it?”

i like it when pokemon fans disappoint themselves by looking at fakemon fanart

it's me I'm Pokemon fans

I THOUGHTVHE SAID BUSY WTF

who taught his great depression ass this slang 😭😭😭

Me trying to hide my hot alien wife from the government

“Dude, your girlfriend’s an alien!” “No, it’s just a skin condition.”

Your theme is the sound of spongebobs shoes squeaking you can’t put percussion in a minor key dumbass

not to bum you guys out but (plays my theme but at a slower pace in a minor key)

Tapeworm lover who is inside you and is munching on your food

Meta's out here asking the real questions

THIS. JUST THIS

Why does NO ONE understand this and he’s such a good example of this too because he’s a glutton for power and not food (also data but that’s mostly in tamers) but just the fact that this isn’t just me saying this into the void is so nice

[Digimon OCs] Beelzemon's not hungry, he's just never satisfied!