Save Me?

All’s Not Lost

All's not lost

Until I have lost my mind

Now I will write

Into the night As if I am some sort of time lord

I will write

Until I feel alright

A poet’s tailbone

Is where they keep their tales

My tailbone is tired

I shall steal my sleep

From tomorrow

I am a true night time poet

With dry, tangled hair

Who knows where I’ll be able to take myself

Some is lost

And I'll admit that I fucked up

But I can almost trust

That this shall continue

I shall continue on this journey

That is full of losing

And gaining

Myself

The reason I may look like a party pooper or down

Is because when I used to walk up to people and tell them my name they would give me a frown

They wouldn't say anything so I would walk away

Then I would see them sneaking peaks at me and laughing, but someday...

I would go sit away from them on the concrete wall

Or I would get a basketball

And shoot hoops all by myself

I put my high hopes on a shelf

Sometimes when I would make a hoop someone would run up to me

And kick the ball away, then laugh at my plea

For peace

I was the one who tried hard with elbow grease

But now I just go sit there anyway

To save myself from all the pain

That's why I don't go up to people and tell them my name

I just always ended up ashamed

Ashamed to be me

Whatever I did they laughed at

Someday hopefully they will realize that

They were all the bitches

That should die in ditches

Sorry I just wish I could make them pay

And that still happens to me today

Even in high school

People think making fun of me is “cool”

Why are they so cruel?

I hate going there

Because most people don't care

And they say that there are only raggies in this town

I bet you don’t know that word, go look it up, the word raggie might be a noun

But I actually try and work hard

Even though I get scarred

Every time someone says that

It makes us all sound worse than rats

Whoever says that isn't even trying

They just like to see people crying

I'm shy

Because I don’t want cry

I'm done trying

Scared Of Falling

Thanks to my ex I'm scared of falling Are you going to break me next? I don’t want to lead you on For me to start playing the love game would be wrong I'm scared of falling, For you I don’t even know if you and your girl are done brawling I do like your three sizes too big hat On the futon, I like where you sat For you I believe I'm falling for I'm just getting over the flu Oh Kyle, Are you going to leave me in a heart-broken pile? I believe I'm falling for, Kyle Which one of us is going to be the first to walk out the door? I really wonder if you write songs Have you ever played ping-pong? Kyle, You seem more down to earth I don’t mind if you hang around for a while Just know that I might not be ready To get with the worse than a soft, stuffed, teddy You seem more down to earth The way you looked at me I think you could tell what I'm worth No pressure is what you said, backstage You were on the same page The way you looked at me, Made me smile Would you mind if it sometimes felt as if I was trying to flee? Should I let myself fall? Or will I end up crippled and have to crawl? You made me smile Yes, you, Kyle For me would you go the extra mile? If so, would you stick around for a while?

I Need My Feet to Forget

I need my feet to forget what motion feels like

Moving unnaturally fast

I need to stay rooted right now

I need time to think

My feet need to forget

What flying feels like

Because I keep nose diving

And maybe its just a part of learning

Maybe I have to suck first

It just seems like others don’t suck

And I'm the only one

Left behind in the dust

I cant stand up because

My feet refuse to forget

Silly feet,

Don’t you know that flying is unnatural?

Dear feet,

Please leave the job of flying

To the wings

Dear feet, you can run

I need my balance

I so should stick to the ground for now

I'm tired of being dizzy

And feeling bigger than I actually am

I'm tired of your illusion

I am the kind of person

That is dangerous

Once I know speed

So I need my feet to forget

What they now know

My feet need to forget the sky

And instead feel the grass, dirt, and tar

I’m Diseased

I’m diseased of adults

Assuming the worst from me

When it is just me

Then they give me a hard time

For nothing

I’m diseased of being a millennial

And adults assuming

That I’m lazy

And addicted to my phone

When it’s just me who just so happens to be different

I’m tired of feeling

Like I’m worthless

And no one will ever

Truly

Fall in love with just me and I them

I’m diseased

Of teachers

Thinking they are better

Because of a degree

At the moment I’m just 1,000 degrees of rage

I don’t want to go to school

I don’t want this factory process

Of being separated

Embarrassed

And torn apart

I’m diseased of being a product

And not a person

The only thing I’ve learned from school

Is that if you don’t want to be bent around

Then keep your mouth shut

I’m diseased with adults

Smoldering my fire

My passion

My,

Will to live and carry on…

Running And Fighting

All the wrong words rhyme

This poetry thing is getting old

And it’s hard to break patterns

It’s hard to be constantly doing something that terrifies you

So here is a messy clump of words with no organization

Here’s me, and I'm not sure who I am without poetry

It might be starting to fade because I've worn it out

But I don’t want to stop

At least not yet

Poetry is the only way I am allowed to rebel

That is without suffering the consequences

Writing is my way of running and fighting

Running and fighting is all I know

Running and fighting is all human nature knows

A lack of life and sleep makes me want to quit,

Running and fighting

Should I try to make the right words rhyme,

Even if it makes me more tired?

I guess that’s what I’ll do,

To make it feel like I’m getting somewhere,

With my endless, restless, wandering…

Wandering…

           Wandering…

                       Wandering

Let’s Start A Riot

Unpenetratable silence

Every movement amplified

But it's just because it's quiet

Can we silently start a riot? It's quiet enough to hear a pin drop 

You can hear people breathe

But that's because it's quiet

Can we please start a riot? Every move of this pencil sounds like it hurts

Trillions of graphite atoms screaming

My imagination goes crazy when it's too quiet

For my sanity, someone start a riot Or at least start talking

Tapping your foot would do

To stop the awkward quiet

Get us out of here so lead a riot When I'm alone, battling on my own

I want to listen to music for the illusion,

That it is not quiet

So I don't start a riot Music and words keep me sane

When I can no longer go,

Into the anxiety provoking quiet

Music and poetry are my silent riot

Hey Girl!

You know you're my friend if you sign your name with a star

And you seal envelopes with nerd saliva

Girl, you're dang beautiful but you don't see it

Hand it to yourself, please I love you

For thinking I'm going to be famous

I miss you

Poor planning but we still should awkwardly get together I owe you a poem

We have lasted about 2 years without seeing each other

We're so weird

See, when your name pops up it makes me happy However you'll always be my buttrift

Who needs any insolent fuckboys?

This one has been stealing my poems

Do you know that you amaze me Angry Satan,

You are not afraid to talk about

A friend who's easy and eager to talk to, even about

Poo, you're used to it That one is my fault

We have lasted so long

Thank you for being here

Glee, I’ll try to write about just for you

Lachrymorose

Seconds away from crying

This Hoover Dam of an eyelid is doing a good job

But it’s seconds away from breaking

All these tears dammed up inside could make Lake Lachrymose,

Leeches, Aunt Josephine and all

That was until she took the fall...

Tears on a cliff

Stacked up on a penny

About to spill over the thin edge

My hot tears

Have the potential

To set this place on fire

I know that

If I were to let them tumble down

They would burn my flesh with streams of lava

Droplets from the sun

Rain from Venus

This salt water is boiling within

Like tears from Rappaccini’s daughter

I am on my own

For I am poison

But I refuse to let them fall

Like pieces of hell

Raining from the ceiling

Journaling

I leave my journal laying open at night, hoping that the words will fly off the page

And drift out the window into the night air

And dance around the moon

I should start dreaming soon

Too many bugs flying around my world

You wouldn’t want forever

People change

And you’ve never seen my rage

I miss your calming

Smooth

Sing-song voice

You left me no choice

But to trust

And live in the exhilarating moment

And taught me that you don’t have to chase

Or try to erase

Moments

Of happiness and sadness

The magic is already there

Sparking in the air

Getting stuck in your crazy hair

That I miss more than you'd ever know

I'm stuck in negative time

While forgetting how to rhyme

Where are my feelings?

Behind my eyes

Sharp

Hidden under the weathered tarp

One day I will finish writing my story

And I’ll let the words swarm you like a tornado of bees

Or a meteor shower

A universe with all the power