I Realize This May Not Be Common Knowledge So; If You Are On Injectable Estradiol And/or You're On Testosterone

Trans tips #7!

It's okay to experiment with your Gender and Sexuality!

It's okay to go through the full cycle to find what works best for you!

And now! A comprehensive list of all of my sexuality and gender changes from the start of my journey to now, to be used as an example:

Straight! Cis Woman! I had a boyfriend who cornered me at a school dance to ask me out! I didn't like him, but i had no spine so...we dated for a year without kissing or holding hands or anything...

Pan! Cis Woman! I met queer friends who introduced me to the concept of Gender and Sexuality! I still consider Pansexuality as absence of Gender in the criteria for dating...also broke up with that boyfriend

Bi! Cis Woman! I also considered Bisexuality to be some consideration of Gender in the criteria of dating

Lesbian! Cis Woman! I made alot of jokes about slowly excluding men or masc presenting people from the dating pool

Gay! Cis Woman? I started thinking about Gender Expression a bit more, Gay was a safe umbrella term for me to explore under

*this is when I met my fiance...we started dating the same night we met...(insert uhaul joke here)*

Gay! Non binary Woman? Started messing with they/them Pronouns, at the time it was something like She/They

Gay! Non binary! This was a short time frame where I felt an absence of femininity within myself, anything fem!presenting made me uncomfortable (makeup, clothing, ect)

Gay! Gender Fluid! I actually came out like this to my younger sibling first because I knew they could be trusted. Also made jokes about stealing everyone's Gender because alot of my friends started coming out at some form of NB...also I had bursts of hyper femininity followed by long bouts of masculinity...until I stopped feeling feminine for a year and was in full denial that it would come back (every time I looked at my feminine clothing in my closet I felt sick, this is when I knew what was coming)

Queer! Gender Fluid! Queer fit me better considering i was He/They/She/It dating a They/She (Side note I don't really go by it, I just live in the Bible belt where morons call me "it" to make me feel bad, if I include it at least they're still gendering me correctly)

Queer! Transgender! Me currently :) I've given all of my feminine clothing to my cousin in law, and with my fiances support I've been coming out to my family.

I know I am in a safe place to do so now that I have my own place with people I trust! I will make another post on coming out next! NOT THE POINT

POINT IS GENDER AND SEXUALITY CAN CHANGE AND YOU CAN EXPERIMENT UNTIL YOU FIND OUT WHATS RIGHT FOR YOU!!!

Also don't rush into decisions! Each of these transitions took months to a year before I figured it was right! This whole process took 7 years and I only just came out as Trans at the beginning of the new year 2025!

But take your time to get a feel for these things, it can take time to adjust and feel your feelings about certain things! You got this and I'm proud of you!

I hope 2025 is the year we finally stop tolerating exorsexism in the trans community

Trans tips #9!

Dont be embarrassed of yourself!

Somewhat story time, but it has a lesson, I promise!

I'm no longer sick! And I went out to dinner with some friends, my fiancé, and my younger sibling (NB) Whom knows about my transness

Well, we were at a Mexican restaurant when the manager walked up and was making conversation with the table. Eventually, he asked how we all knew eachother.

Now, some information about me, I still have long, blue hair that I am finally growing out after years of cutting it, and I'm pre-t. For the most part, not passing at all.

But my sibling introduced me as their brother

I felt super embarrassed

The manager asked "Brother? Who's your brother?"

Sibling points at me again, very casually, "yeah, so, my brother, his fiancé, (their) friends, ect..."

Manager starts pointing around the table, asking again "who is your brother?"

Sibling points to me again and very dismissively calls me their brother again

Now, overall, very proud of my sibling for sticking to their guns and not backing down

But in that moment I was so beyond embarrassed!

At the end I just wanted to tell them so let it go and let the manager call me their sister or something, anything to end the conversation, get me out of this mess, stop everyone from staring at me, I want a molcajete and a margarita at this point, thank you, yeah I'll pay let's just wrap this up please sibling shut UP

I was so annoyed with them

But, that was a few days ago, and I've since calmed down and I've been thinking about it all

I was the first in my family to ever come out. I've expressed my gender and sexuality differently for the last couple of years, and when my sibling came out as Nonbianary, I got them their first flag, and I walked them through coming out, and I showed them their options and their resources

And they received backlash

Because people (especially our family) weren't used to the idea of Nonbianary

My sibling considered de-transitioning

Going back to "normal"

Hiding in the closet

But I told them No! If someone doesn't refer to you by your chosen name, don't respond! I won't! I don't know who [deadname] is! I only know the name You told me! Fuck anyone who says otherwise!

Do you think I'm able to date and be engaged to the most wonderful and beautiful person in all of existence by hiding in the closet when people are mean to me? FUCK NO!

Stand up, say it with your chest, own it, and you'll be so much happier! So much more free!

They're just doing what I thought them to do

Dont be ashamed of who you are, and when you are ashamed, I won't be ashamed of you.

I can't hide in the closet, I am Valid

I may not pass, I am Valid

I may not be able to medically transition, I am Valid

I may like my hair longer, I am Valid

My voice isn't as deep as I want it to be, I am Valid

I am Valid, and You are Too

As long as you are safe to do so, don't be ashamed or afraid to come out;

And when you are, have someone else who can speak up for you!

to trans men: you don't have to and can stop apologizing for being a man. it'll save you. you don't have to hate yourself for the approval of transphobic assholes like that. trans manhood is quite literally nothing to be ashamed of.

Trans story time!

I had a dream last night!

In my dream I was looking at my shitty little pre-t "lash-stach" in my bathroom mirror, kinda pushing my lip around and brushing it, wishing it would grow

And my fiancé poked her head around the corner to remind me to shave before our date. I turned my head to look at her, and told her I would

When I looked back in the mirror, I looked completely different, with a full beard, wider face, more "masculine" features

And I was stressed, looking through the drawers for a razor I could not find, i pulled out nail clippers and tweezers and eventually, I just put my hands on the counter and looked in the mirror at myself again

I ran my hand through my beard and judged weather i really needed to trim it or if it was acceptable for this date

And I remember pausing, and looking into my own big brown eyes, and thinking

"I knew it would get better one day"

Anyway

I woke up and went to rub my chin, and just felt this distant sadness as my hand met my smooth skin

But yeah. I feel like this is one of those dreams you hear about that just has this absolutely raw dialogue line

Anyway, how's your guys day going?

Got an ask recently that called this pfp a "transmasc Emily" and I have not stopped thinking about it all day

Me Before HRT:

Me after HRT:

Trans Tips #10!

List off parts of yourself that you DO like!

I always see "oh I don't like this or that, I don't pass for this reason or another" ect ect ect (Also I'm totally a hypocrit for this) BUT

MAKE A LIST OF THINGS YOU DO LIKE!!!

In the process of making my Pfp, I had to think about what my face and stuff looks like, that makes it look most like me out of all of these options

MAKE LISTS OF THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF

I have a mutual, I can't remember who, but somebody said they also did voice training, and (as a singer) they could no longer reach higher pitch notes

ID BE SO EUPHORIC OF THAT FACT!!! THATS FUCKING AWESOME!!!

I can change a tire! I aired my tires and had to change one recently!!! IM STILL LIVING OFF OF THE EUPHORIA OF THAT!

This post is derailing rapidly, so I'll move on to the example part of my post!

My lovely PFP in question! I used a stardew valley pfp creator to make it. I've only played a tiny bit of stardew valley, but @wizzom showed it to me months ago, and now I'm using it for my profile!

I had to select different characteristics that matched my face, and it made me think objectively about myself,

As an artist, I had to pull myself apart by my tiny details instead of looking at the big picture. Overall, I don't pass, my features work together to look at little more fem, but each characteristic made me feel better about myself

My hair is blue! Not really a masculine or feminine thing, it just is (it's also very grown own, so you can see my very long dark roots, but whatever)

My hair is wavy, very similar to my Dad's, which already makes me feel good

My hair is very long! I have been cutting/shaving my hair for the better part of 4 years, all through high school, and I'm finally letting it grow out. I feel like there's a nice punk element to it, but also, if my femininity was highlighted with short hair, may my masculinity be defined by my long, luxurious, wavy hair

I have sun kisses on my cheeks, bridge of my nose, and shoulders from repeatedly burning and peeling. Now they're very faint freckles

I am white, but I'm not super pale. I tan very good and will be outside more when summer hits. This is the closest I could get to my skin tone

I have very thick, bushy eyebrows. My fiancé jokes about them being patchy and fucked up near the ends, and that they're just very bold and wildly thick

I have a big forehead, also like my dad!

I have more of a rounded nose (Fiance calls it a snub/snoobie nose) which i get more from my mom

I have very, very dark brown eyes to the point that in the shade, people often can't tell my pupil from my iris. It's only clear in direct sunlight

I have some eye bags, I work and overnight/revolving shift at work, and just naturally have a droopy, depressed, tired resting face

I don't have a beard (YET), but in my dream post, this is very similar to the beard I had. In my dream, my beard was my natural brown, but this pfp creator wouldn't let me change the facial hair color. (Low key love the look tho)

I do have a giant brown leather jacket that I wear constantly, he's scuffed and fucked up, I got him from a thrift store, but he has personality and I love him

I wear alot of horror t-shirts, mostly black with red accents, which is why the shirt is that color

Also, all of my shirts either have a wide neck or I've stretched the neck. I have ADHD and sensory issues and can not handle shit touching my throat. I WILL throw up (same with tags, I rip them off of everything I own/wear. I just can't)

The character creator wouldn't let me add piercings, but I have 3 facial piercings. My right eyebrow, septum, and tongue ring

I have a wider/boxier/chubbier face shape, with a soft jawline. I have convinced myself that that + my big forehead makes me look more masc

I like to joke that I have those soft masculine looks that girls are jealous of (male long lashes, boys soft kissable lips, guys with big butts, ect) just to help re-frame how I think about that stuff

I have a very broad back, I'm working out more to try and build muscle, but I'm happy for my wide back

I can go on but you get the point. Everything i try and reframe into being masculine. It can be difficult with dysphoria, but I continue to try!

Anyway, please message me! Put shit in my ask box! Comment! Add your own traits that you love! Please please please please please interact I WANNA SEE HOW YOU SEE YOURSELF

whoa i feel like i can actually look at myself when i do more masculine makeup. like i don’t just feel immediately depressed and dissociate/experience my vision going blurry and can’t look myself in the eye. also boxers are so comfy and i love love love my new short red/burgundy hair. and my new ear piercings. like i’m just taking so many steps to feel more affirmed in my gender experience and comfortable in my own skin on my own terms, and it’s so so nice. now that i’ve started, i don’t want to stop.

not sure if i’m trans masc or a trans man or non-binary, or if i’m genderfluid like i initially thought, but man i feel so much more calm and at ease and like gently alive. like such a chill vibe and so grounded i love it so much omg

i think i might change my blog yet again lol.

I come from a culture that has no nudity taboo - nudity is not considered inherently sexual, or somehow traumatising to witness. What that means in practice is that there is a clearly drawn line between sexual and non-sexual nudity. There is nothing wrong or inappropriate about nudity in a sexual context, and nothing wrong or inappropriate about nudity in a non-sexual context. However, it is 100% inappropriate to be nude in a situation where it is not obvious from context whether this is sexual or not.

I've seen random kids who briefly escaped from their parents bolt across a public park buck-ass naked after they were playing in the water fountain and their parents were in the middle of changing their kid from wet clothes to dry clothes when the small nudist escaped. Changing your small kid's clothes right there in public is ok because there is obviously nothing sexual about a child whose clothes got wet. But although people will have baby pictures of their kids in the bath or just running around the house like that because sometimes little apes hate clothes for some reason, it's considered common sense to not share those pictures on facebook mom groups and such, because you have no way of knowing who's seeing them, and that blurs the line of context.

It all boils down to the clearly defined context. Bathing nude in the same sauna with five of your co-workers at the office christmas party? Clearly nonsexual, therefore completely fine. Your friend-with-benefits inviting you to come over and opening the door in nothing but a doggy collar and the most porn-scented perfume? Clearly sexual, therefore completely fine. A woman checking her breasts for lumps in the gym lockers just before or after a shower? Clearly non-sexual, therefore completely fine.

But if you went to the bank today and there's some guy who walks in and immediately strips naked, doing his banking business wearing nothing but a deep smile and being clearly very content with this situation, you have no way of telling whether he's getting kicks out of this or not. There is no contextual reason for him to be nude. Therefore, that is inappropriate.

Then you go home and post on tumblr - as one does - going like "there was some dude completely fucking buck-ass naked in the bank today. That was fucking weird and I wish he had not done that." And someone immediately swoops into inform you that actually nudity is not inherently sexual or inappropriate, and there are cultures out there that have no nudity taboo. It's not fair to call somebody a freak for something like that, maybe that guy was just finnish.

Always always

Reblog if it's okay to invade your ask box

Always