It’s Always Awkward When People Speak To Me About 3ds Not Knowing I Am Head Under The Water Drowning

morning... because if it was a good morning, i’d weigh 40 kgs.

my reasons

To look back at when I'm thinking of quitting

Because I need this

To be the prettiest one in the room at all times

For the chance I'll look more masculine and less like a fat girl

To be comfortable in tight clothes

To look pretty in candid photos

To look pretty at all angles

To fit in pants even when I'm sitting and my thighs are squished

So my binder won't roll up all the time and suffocate me

To look pretty in t shirts, getting rid of the bit of fat on my elbows

To look tall and scary like a tim Burton character

To look less childish and less baby faced

So I don't look stupid eating in public

So I don't look like an overgrown baby at the beach or pool

So I don't have rashes on my thighs from walking for so long, since my thighs won't even touch when I walk

So he stops telling me how odd looking and fat my face is

So I can wear headphones without my glasses squishing my face

So I won't be the only one sweating my ass off in a room ever again

So my knee high socks become actually knee high

So I won't have to buy belts online for my huge waist

So I can find a cute piece of clothing and have it fit no matter the size

To be able to wear ANYTHING and still look good

For children's underwear and socks to fit me because they're the most fun kind

For a jaw line

For the collarbones

For the hip bones

For the ribs

For the bones on the back of my hand

To be beautiful.

school makes me want to fucking kill myself i hate school fuck this stupid rubbish fuck fuck fuck fuck i dont get told i had a fucking assement and now i have my last day of my extention to finish it fuck fuck fuck im going to fucking kill myself i wish i never was fucking alive

hunger sc4le

painfully hungry: hunger pains, dizzy, feeling ill

very hungry: could eat anything, might binge

mildly hungry: strong signs of hunger, a little dizzy

hungry: 1st signs, stomach growling

neutral: emtpy not hungry or full, content

comfortably satisfied: hunger has been satisfied

very satisfied: hunger has been satisfied a little too well, full

beyond satisfied: starting to feel sick but manageable

uncomfortably over stuffed: feelings of guilt, heavy feeling, a bit nauseous, food coma

extremely stuffed: could throw up, bloated, feels heavy, sluggish, can't look at food

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is the hunger scale, knowing this can hep you read your body. I personally try to stay 3-6. This helps keep me with my from b1ng1ng/ overe4ting.

keepingn track of your feelings and emotions before and after you e4t is also helpful, so you can find patterns in your eating behaviors like:

(before) am i actually hungry?

(before) what is my hunger scale?

(before) am i sad?

(before) am i stressed?

(before) am i happy?

(before) am i angry?

(after) how much did i eat?

(after) what is my hunger scale now?

(after) how do i feell now?

stay safe loves xox

I don't wanna hear how hard your eating disorder is, you've barely done anything, you're still just as big as when you "started", we all know you're pretending

Remembering c/s exists when your balls deep in junk food cravings is like the lord himself smiles upon you

I sure have been putting the eating in eating disorder lately

My psychiatrist deadpan staring at me as I try to tell her why baking as a hobby means I don't have an eating disorder

Oo ok! So idrk if we stopped, but can we bring back the old ed bracelet thing? Like, red for an4, blue for Mia, and other colors for eds like arfid, ednos, and bed! Reblog so we can make this big again!

(I posted this on my other account, but Tumblr termed me for it! Ugh. Help me find my mutuals again? ) ♡♡♡

i may do this actually!! this seems kinda fun :]

I think what would be super cool is to do end of month check ins until december on this acc w a specific tag like cokezerobug2025 or something and see exactly how much progress i’ve made by december 31st, or even march 31st. idk im gonna go ahead and use the the tag so I remember

january 31st check in plz don’t disappoint me