No But LET'S TALK About How Andrew Is (outwardly) Apathetic In Every Aspect Of His Life And Towards Every

Neil Josten is an amazing protagonist and here’s why‼️ first off he gets into the juicy stuff from page one! “Oh? Wanna hear about my dead mom? Sure! Why would I lie to myself when I can lie to everyone else?” Also ever read about a character being a bitch and you wanna jump their ass and tell them they’re a stupid bitch? NEIL JOSTEN WILL!! He will not hesitate to go for the damn throat. Abuser you wish would die? Boom he took out a hit on them. Character being a bitch? You know I get it. Also he sees problems and he fixes them‼️ bob the builder ass over here rekindling connections n shit. You see the twinyards and wish, damn wish they would talk to each other, well good for you Neil Josten is going to poke them with a stick until they do!! I just love Neil so bad can you tell…

i want aaron to smile. i want him to go to medical school and get his first apartment and live with katelyn and i want them to get an aquarium with a whole bunch of cool brightly colored fish and i want him to get to specialise in the area of medicine he wants to and when they're studying for their exams he and kate have post it notes of terminology and memorizations stuck all over the walls of their apartment. i want aaron to learn how to cook and learn what he likes what his comfort foods are i want him to have a dog, lily, that curls up at the end of the bed at night i want him to call nicky every week just like he promised i want him to have a little fox paw fridge magnet that katelyn got and he didn't object to i want there to be photographs in the hallway of his college graduation, of him and katelyn getting their puppy, of them getting engaged, getting married. i want aaron to get a job and love it i want him to be really good at staying calm when he's talking to his patients i want him and katelyn to drive to work together i want them to babysit kevin's daughter i want them to have date nights and see movies together and spend their anniversary at the beach where they got engaged. i want aaron to send pictures of his dog to the foxes' groupchat, i want him to smile when dan asks to dogsit for eternity, i want him to laugh at dinners with his colleagues, i want him to stay in touch with his friends from med school and spend birthdays with them. i want him to text andrew with just stuff about his life, pictures of birds he saw when he was walking lily that morning, i want him to be able to talk to his family without it hurting. i want aaron to get to life his life without being tied down by his guilt and his grief i want him to stop seeing blood when he falls asleep i want him to smile i want him to laugh i want aaron to breathe easier and start living instead of surviving

Something that stood out to me in my aftg reread was how unhinged the upperclassmen actually are.

Matt fucking Boyd and his willingness to absolutely go at anyone, anywhere, any time. There's a scene where Kevin tells him to foul another player on the opposing team and Neil specifically points out the unrepentant grin he has on his face as he waltzes off court after it happens. He also is described as the best player on the foxes line up multiple times by Neil and his play style is aggressive, he uses his height and build to his advantage and he doesn't hold back.

Allison and Andrew have the exact same style of serving cunt, in that if you don't interest them they will not even acknowledge your existence. A player from another team attempted to score on the goal and both Allison and Andrew stood still and watched them miss with such bitchy indifference it probably gave that player ptsd. They also both have a habit of cutting through bullshit and demanding truth ESPECIALLY regarding topics other people would shy away from. Badass blonde bombshells.

Dan Wilds is just as rabid about Exy as Kevin and her every first thought goes to the game first just like Kevin. She's just better at making her second thought go to something else. She literally knew the second Seth was out of the picture that there was an opportunity there and she didn't even really hesitate to talk to Matt about it. She looked at Neil and whatever fucked up little thing he had going on with Andrew (as it would have looked to an outsider, let's remember that they all knew Andrew took him to Columbia and drugged him) and was like, how can we use this to make the team stronger. Like Nicky used Neil to manipulate Andrew but Dan did it better and with much more calculation.

Renee I don't even really need to talk about because Neil was always wary of her but there is one scene where Neil let's slip about his father's penchant for knives and Renee's reaction and understanding gave me chills. Renee uses that part of her to protect and that's really great because she would be terrifying otherwise.

andreil is NOT an 'i can fix him' scenario. neil saw andrew and was like 'hes scary i'm going to let him save my life' and andrew saw neil and said 'hes so fucked up i wonder what happens if i do this' and then took him to the club

the one true 'i can fix him' in all for the game is kateaaron. THAT was a girl seeing a fucked up blond guy and going 'yeah i can fix that'. and she DID. queen.

thinking about kevin day winning his first olympic gold medal.

kevin day who appears to the media as a confident athlete who knows how talented he is. everyone knew the gold medal was only a matter of when he’d get it and not if he gets it— he’s the son of exy after all. they might have seen him a bit stiff in his earlier years and people did not forget about his class i exy interviews in which he confirms he had never been skiing or that the palmetto state foxes’ coach is actually his father— but he has always maintained that kevin day winning smile and his polite composure with the perfect amount of charisma.

but then the US exy team wins the final game at the olympics. it’s the first time he has won the olympic medal and when the final whistle fills his ears, he quite literally drops to his knees, he yells out in celebration, and then when he takes off his helmet he is crying. he has finally done it. he has won the gold medal which he was so determined to win ever since he could remember.

and most people do not know the extend of what he had to sacrifice for it. they don’t realise the extend of how hard he had to work to get back to exy after his hand got broken— both mentally and physically. nor do they know the amount of panic attacks he had to deal with and the same amount of times he had to drown his feelings away with a bottle or three.

and he’s crying. the fans cheer him on. and it’s not just the USA fans— but it feels like the whole stadium starts cheering his name in celebration and support. because at the end of the day that’s kevin day and he has finally done it. he has gotten the medal and it’s literally going to be a historic moment.

andrew makes his way to kevin’s side and he helps kevin take off his gloves like he has done many times before. andrew wants to say something, maybe a remark that will get under kevin’s skin— but then he looks at kevin’s expression and he realises this is all they’ve been building up to for the past years.

and it’s not just kevin who has won the golden medal right now. it’s him too. his team. their team. and they’re all a bit speechless and astonished by this moment. so andrew helps kevin up and neither of them say a word to each other just yet, but kevin feels andrew’s weight shifting into him too— they’re both leaning onto each other; they’re both holding each other up.

redraw of iconic photo by james patrick dawson, and how are you coping with waiting for tgr??

The way Neil Josten switched into Nathaniel in order to process and handle the abuse and trauma of being found by his father's people and the reality of his looming death will never not fuck me up, he literally said I can't handle this but maybe the Butcher's son could. And then. And then!! The way those two versions of himself coalesce into Neil Abram Josten (legally recognised) after Nathan is dead and the truth is out? The Neil Josten we see in The Sunshine Court has all of the attachments of Neil Josten, the slow unraveling of family and care but all of the hard edges of Nathaniel, unflinching from the reality of the world he lives in and the decisions he has to make to keep his life. Nathaniel would never have stuck around long enough to care about Jean Moreau and call a hit out on his abuser. Neil would never have trusted those resources available to him (or potentially the trail it could leave) in order to deal with the problem in one brutal but efficient move. But Neil Abram Josten reforged could, would and did.

I've put some thought into this and I've come up with a theory. My theory is as follows: there are two main reasons people think the aftg novels are filled with bad writing.

1. They are self-published. This point is really two points. Because they are self-published they have a lot of typos and editing errors. Also, because they are self-published they are associated with not being good enough to be traditionally published. The belief that self-published books failed at being traditionally published is false. Nora has stated that she received interest from agents and publishers. They wanted her to change too much of the books, including replacing exy with an existing sport. She said that it would have felt like betraying her characters, especially her female characters, as exy is a coed sport. As for the errors, this is not an example of bad writing. It is an example of amateur proofreading, which is different.

2. The books do not have lyrical prose, which is actually an example of good writing. What?! How can this be? I'm about to tell you. The novels are completely from Neil's POV. They stay in Neil's POV. The reason the prose isn't lyrical is because Neil doesn't think lyrically. He is blunt. Straightforward, even though he's a liar. Think of the scene where he rejects Marissa or when he tells Seth why people don't like him. The writing style reflects this. In fact, many writers struggle with staying inside someone's head, with keeping to their POV. The way that Nora keeps Neil's perspective, and Neil's perspective only, is pretty impressive. His language actually changes a little as the books progress, which is seen around Andrew and his golden eyes. He starts to feel feelings around Andrew and his perspective changes to reflect this. Again, an example of good writing.

In conclusion, aftg are actually really good books. Source: me

*reading TFC for the first time*: so one them is dead but he was an assole and I didn't really care about him.

*rereading TFC*: he was the oldest fox, he had so much potential, yes he was an asshole but so are the monsters and he would've gotten along with Neil and I miss him so much 😭

Happy late Valentine’s Day 😭 this is so embarrassing to post i literally never make stuff like this but i am twenty years old i think i deserve to draw a couple smooches