I Am Screaming A Lot On The Inside And A Little On The Outside

There is a very specific and painful uncomfortable infuriating frustrating dreadful sad feeling of desire, when you care so much about something, and you just want to tell someone about it.

To take a character and make someone else care about them they way you do

To show someone how fascinating a topic is

To demonstrate how intricate a story is, how intertwined the world is

To bundle up the bright, overflowing bundle of care/excitement/intrigue and share it so someone else can experience it too

…

But sometimes, perhaps often, there is no one to tell.

No one you haven’t bothered recently. No one who has a similar interest. No one who will be willing to read the outpour. No one who would care. No one you haven’t already handed a new interest.

And that desire to share, give, offer, show, and tell someone sours. It melts into a charred mass of dread in your stomach that seeps into the subject itself, if only a little.

I may not entirely believe in magic but sometimes it seems like it believes in me and is going *SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK* with a rolled up newspaper when I’m not looking.

New Zelda Game Thoughts

So. I think that having an actual Zelda-player zelda game is cool. But… am I the only one who feels a little… put out? That it’s such a cutesy style? Like don’t get me wrong, I love cute stuff. But for the first and only Zelda based game, I kinda hoped they would have gone for something that gives Zelda a little more credit.

It feels almost like it’s making fun of her abilities, in a way. Like if she’s going to be the main player, it can’t be serious.

I’m sure that’s not what they meant, and it’s fun to see how excited everyone is. I just…

To all my fellow verbal stimmers,

Y’all ever have to have the awkward convo with a new person like

Me: stimming

Person: what’d you say?

Me: ah… I was… just making random noise 😅

Story time:

So one time I was at a summer camp and a kid brought a bulk package of pixie sticks with them (they’re flavored sugar in paper straws). They were sharing them with everyone but the counselors and leaders were not a fan of having a collective of like 100 sugar high 10 y.os for a week straight.

The pixie stick kid divided the bag amongst his cabin mates and what ensued in the following week was 100 10 y.o kids having sugar drug deals. There were shady secret meetups. Ziplocks of pixie sticks buried in hidden locations for pickups.

Kids were biting off pieces of the stick and chewing the sugar out so counselors couldn’t retrieve the sticks if caught. You just shoved the whole thing in your mouth and spat out the wrapper after.

I feel I should also mention this was a bible camp. A bible camp of pixie stick dealing 10 y.os.

Just saying.

What is a swan but an italics goose

Top 3 most unfortunate things I have mixed up while not wearing my glasses:

-my contact solution w/ mom’s hydrogen peroxide contact cleaner

-orajel and wart remover

-my prescription ointment and travel toothpaste

Hey so how do you continue with your day when a discordant and unseen ice cream truck drives somewhere in the vicinity of your house playing a tune you have never heard before