Sorry I Didn't Reply Sooner! No Spoons :[

me me

i always see other nonhumans talking about how much they hate being human, but what about my fellow creatures who love being human? Who love their human friends and doing human things?

real

me looking at the "felinehearted" label in my intro post knowing damn well i don't post about it:

i miss who i was like a week ago when i didnt know what a radqueer was

uhh i can’t believe i have to say this but if you’re pro transID / radqueer and/or a pro contact paraphile don’t fucking interact LOL? Just because im pro transspecies does not mean im one of yall… from my understanding it wasn’t even?? part of transid before?? until u guys stole it?? Also being greeted by a “pro consensual contact paraphile” in my notifs is one hell of a way to be introduced to alterhuman tumblr. I am trying SO hard not to hate it here 😭

idk if i reblogged this already but. idk. lily of the valley is one of my birth month flowers!

𝔞 𝔴𝔞𝔩𝔨 𝔱𝔥𝔯𝔬𝔲𝔤𝔥 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔴𝔬𝔬𝔡𝔰

them: 'you're not a cat'

literally me:

offering a virtual hug if you want one. its so horrible that roadkill has to even be a word. take your time if you need it

Tw: mentions/topics of animal death, description of gore (kinda), subjects of death, mild description of traumatic experiences, trauma art (blood and a bit of gore included)

Yesterday i saw a black cat run across the street. I knew this cat. I've seen it often running around in the bushes. I also pet it a few times.

Today around 7:40 AM it was dead. It's insides across the street all bloody. It traumatized me and I've been distressed the whole day. Couldn't focus on anything and zoomed out constantly.

Normally I don't have a problem with seeing dead things but seeing this kitten looking like it's stomach exploded gave me flashbacks of past traumas (my first 2 cats got hit by a car) and a new trauma. The whole day i was thinking about what the owners of the cat felt when their found their beloved pet like that on the street. The kitten was still very long and could've lived way longer.

But seeing this also distressed me bc i also had a dream about dead animals that night and someone trying to murder me and my family (I'm not going to describe the dream as it would be too long and probably too graphic).

I've also been thinking about death a lot recently. Not like my own death, but much rather about the death of my beloved ones. My family, friends, pets, etc. I'm not scared of my own death but I'm scared of the death of the people around me. Mainly about my pets recently because there are a lot of dead rats lying on the streets in and outside our village and a few days ago a dead dog was found in a field.

I'm so scared that moppi and Garfield could die anytime soon. They are the cats that have lived the longest with me. I've had moppi since 2017 or 2018 and Garfield around 2021 or 2022. I've bonded with them more than with my other 3 cats I've had before and I'd be lying if I'd say I don't feel some kind of guilt even though their deaths wasn't my fault. But to me it would feel like that i loved moppi and Garfield more than eddie, ignatz and örni even though i love them all equally the same.

But what also made it traumatic for me was that I've figured out how i died as a cat in my past live. One of my theriotypes is a black mainecoon cat. I never knew how i lost my life as one but i was pretty sure i was killed by a car or something (but never was 100% sure). I got flashbacks and memory shifts that were new to me (but not nice ones). Walking across the road, worrying about nothing until a big engine with bright lights hits you in seconds, not even having the time to run away or figuring out what is happening, until it all went black.

Theriantropy isn't always nice as a lot of people say. As you can see it can also be really traumatic depending on your experience

When I'm coping with something i draw it because i know the paper I'm drawing on won't and can't judge me for my feelings.

It's just scrabbled but it's not meant to be beautiful. It's meant to be meaningful.

I couldn't bring myself today to finish cat drawing requests or any of my art that includes cats. The only thing i was able to do today was draw this.

yayay it me :D (asker on alt)

@narratorofstory dog!

umm hello may i ask for a moodboard :3 with brown border collie, andd goblincore aesthetic/mossy forest stuff

ty if u do it!! have a nice day/night my guy , u seem pretty kewl :]

Yes, of course you can ask for one! :}

Here they are! I hope you enjoy them. If you need something changed just let me know!

Also, thank you! You seem pretty cool too

wet beast wednesday!

not really a beast but it me. girl whys the quality so bad </3

oh hey this looks like me as well! hope that is ok to say /gen

self portrait