I’m In Trouble

I just wanted to say a massive thank you to these guys and everyone I’ve met/made friends with over the last couple years because of them, I got to see them three times in the last 13 months and from not being allowed to see them and then getting three times is insane

I’m just going to do a little run down as to why these boys mean so much to me through albums and eras

self-titled as an era as well as notes - help me relive my teen years , help me relive as the teenage boy that I didn’t get to live (being trans I was raised as a female and my teen years where very weird obviously) , but since coming out I’ve made the connection that these albums really help me feel like the teenage boy I was meant to be and I couldn’t thank the guys more for that and I know there probably never going to here it but it’s wild that even though I’m never actually going to be able to go back and fully relive my teenage years these albums do help me.

I like it when you sleep- I don’t know what it is about iliwys but it helps me feel so confident in my sexuality and gender around others , it helps me care less what others may think of it. I can just be me and not be bothered about others thoughts. Be the openly little gay boy that I am and not care that others may veiw it as icky or be homophobic toward me it just keeps me safe and grounded and I don’t feel like I have to hide because of this.

a brief Inquiry(can’t spell sorry)- ABIIOR - has helped me care more for the environment and schooling and helped me care more about my knowledge for other things like art and writing , creativity in all forms (I cared before but like now with this album) , I’ll stay up and learn about art and history and feel like I’m expanding my brain learning about the world around me and how things used to be - I just feel smarter

but the best of all really is

Being Funny - to me this one brings the best out because it really makes me feel like I’ve grown as a person and that everything around me has grown with me , as have the people around me , I’ve gained so much confidence and done things I never thought id do , I’ve grown up with the guys because of this era , I feel like I’m growing into the gentleman that I want to be and it just makes me feel so grown. I can do everything I dream of and do it to the best of my abilities

so I wanna thank the guys SO MUCH for helping me through everything in life

Ooooo question for my fanfic “menswear” just for later chapter what do we feel if G and Matty where to get frisky , do we think Matty would trust G enough to let him do stuff to him or do we think Matty would just want to do things to G ????

This George is my absolute fave Era of G , and Matty and And G playing Rock Paper Scissors is deffo how I imagine them in my Fanfic it’s so funny

This is just a small one shot I thought of based on one of my favourite songs , it’s pants and I know it could be soooo much better but it’s like 6am and I’m so sorry if it sucks

Called “Now your mine” , written from Mattys perspective, there about 17-18 and there isn’t much warnings for it other than maybe slight jealousy and cheating

(Changed the feminine pronouns to male ones just for the Fic)

I saw him standing cross the AstroTurf , I couldn’t believe that you had got there first.

Playing footie on the Astro after school is something that we always did before we wrong home, That day was no different I was standing with Ross and Hann just waiting for George to come along , as he did I could see that he was with her! Again , what a nightmare she is , and from the look already on his face I could tell that something was going on something was brewing between them. She was just chatting away to him and it looked like she was genuinely draining the life out of him. I couldn’t help but watch his every move as he came over to us, his broad shoulder and tall frame dark hair righted up in the bin that had always drive me wild. I couldn’t help being jealous of her and how she had somehow managed to crowd her way into George’s life, with her stupid little laugh and long ass legs (what that’s got to do with anything I’ll never know but there we go that’s what’s annoying me today), I’d loved George for as long as I’d known him but how could she just turn up one day and turn his life upside down.

You said you loved him did you really though , already had someone else on the go

They’d been together about five months at this point and George appeared to be totally smitten by her, she was always around , at school , when we hung out, always coming to see him at work and he even had to bring her to practise. She said she loved him too but the amount of stories I’d heard from others that would disprove this theory was immeasurable. I don’t know much about her but I know that she’d been with nearly ever lad out year and is now just making her way through the year below George being the newest she’d gotten her fuckin claws into. I’d brung it up with George a million times but he just told me every time that “she’s changed”, “she loves him” , but I’d heard that no matter how she was with or how ever many times she’d “changed” , she just used people and cheated every chance she got, she’d probably be looking for her new prey at this point. Not that I’d ever call George prey because he could stick up for himself and he was my best mate but even Hann dislikes her and he doesn’t dislike anyone you know.

And yes he stayed the night and he, he probably shouldn’t have.

He’s stayed the night, we’d spent a few hours with the lads practicing for the gig we had lined up down the pub that weekend and on the off occasion that , she hadn’t actually come he stayed over, it was a Thursday night and we’d gotten high after dinner and we were watching re-runs of friends. Laying next to each other I could feel the height coming off him I was the close to. I couldn’t keep my eyes of him, blowing out the smoked as his cheeks hollow out, his eyes slightly blood shot, his lips always so pretty.

“ Bro , you know you can take a picture right it’ll last well longer”, even his laugh his godly.

This leads us into a conversation about how he’d been so quiet and to himself recently, comes to think of it if he wasn’t at home, he was with her. We hadn’t seen him in months and when we did he just seemed off, upset, maybe even traumatised if that was the right word. He’d tried to say he was fine but I could tell he wasn’t,

Look in his eyes tell , tell me you wouldn’t have

I had to get him to be honest , his eyes weren’t as bright as they used to me, not as full as optimism and mischief as they had once been. They just seemed dull, as did he just tired and overall done with everything. So I pushed him to be honest with me. And that’s when he told me that Little Miss Jessie is just as bad as everyone says she is, That they argue all the time , that’s she’s manipulative , doesn’t trust him, won’t leave him alone. He’d told me that she’s always at him for being out and not with her or always making him feel like the bad guy. She overall just treats him like shit but he loves her and doesn’t want to hurt her even after the fact that he’s so upset by everything.

All is fair in matters of the heart so , go ahead and tear this friendship apart

We’d gotten into a massive discussion about the fact that he has to look out for number one no matter how much you may love someone, that the people you love shouldn’t be allowed to do as they please just because they feel like it. And then.

As I’d like magic he turned me and told me that he just couldn’t take it anymore and that he doesn’t want to leave her but doesn’t know what to do about it, his head fell onto my shoulder and a few tears let slip, I wiped them away holding him close to me. I waited till he had calmed down a little bit. Holding him this close to me wasn’t helping my situation in anyway what-so-ever and I couldn’t hold myself back. While I was comforting him I brung my lips to his cheek and then the other I could feel the heat raising throughout my body and when I looked at him we both leaned into each other and my world fell into place. Our lips met and our souls connected on a deeper level.

“What was that Matty!”

“George honestly , I’ve loved you since the day I met you and I just can’t watch you go through it with little miss perfect anymore I just wanted you to know that, and if ….if you don’t feel the same that’s fine….but please for the love of God ….you have to get rid of her….she’s just messing with you ead”

He then pulled me into him again , into a brain melting kiss. I closed my eyes this time and pulled him closer to me feeling his hands trail up my body until they were resting on my flaming hot cheeks and mine where shoved into his shirt that I grabbed onto for dear life.

“Gimmie your phone love” , we pulled away from each other for a second to breath and he passed me his phone after he’d pulled it from his pocket, I punched in the passcode and found her contact sending her

“It’s not my fault you know what’s done is done , he wanted me let it be , we’re still so young , which I could say that sorry I’m wrong but it’s not my fault that you got cheated on - Matty ❤️”. I send it away and got back to the task at hand.

Based off of “Cheating” by Michael Aldag

nine people you’d like to get to know better

tagged by: @justanamesstuff

last song: currently listening to Undo (The 1975 )

currently watching: I’m trying to watch Transatlantic but also I’m also rewatching Queer as Folk

current obsession: That’s Easily George Daniel 😂❤️

currently reading: I don’t read much I started reading the first Percy Jackson book months ago and still haven’t finished but I really just Read MattyxGeorge Fanfics

tagging: @throughthepostmodernlens @puffpasstea @medeas-chariot

I don’t really know nine people but hey ho

So for the ff that I’m writing Matty as a Trans-Man imma call it Menswear because that just fits to me anyway , would y’all like a , I can’t remember the word I’m looking for but something that gives you sneak peak or like a blurb about it or something first or would you just like me to go straight into it

Or

Would you prefer me to finish “Heart out” then go into “Menswear” stuff ???

Also fuckin hell dude I just saw the Chicago Lollapalooza “Oh Caroline” from last night , and I legitimately stopped breathing when I saw G

My friends are very passionate about circumcised or uncircumcised penis’

Any opinion

Here chapter two

I jolt awake from the blaring sound of my alarm at 6 later that morning the sun bounding through my window as I completely forgot to close my curtains last night I switch my alarm off abruptly before pulling my duvet over my head and groan "not yet " I tell myself. I need five more minutes. Closing my eyes again brings me peace for what feels like 3 minutes but I am awoken again by my baby brother running into my room

"Maffu , Mummy says it's time wake up "

He climbs onto my bed and starts jumping around me "wakey wakey " I pull the duvet down to look at him and smile

"Hey there Lou ...did you sleep good kid ?" I ruffle his hair and pull him down to me for a big hug and sit up "did you have breakfast yet mate "

"I slept good ...and no not yet mummy made coco pops but said you gotta wake up so you can eat too " he smiles up at me lovely and tries to pull me off the bed with him as he slides down back to the floor.

"I'll be down in five minutes okay Lou " I smile at him fondly and let go of his hand "run along yeh tell mummy I'll be five minutes alright "

I watch him run back through the house and I sit on the edge of my bed and wrack my hands through my hair and sigh. Making my way over to my dresser to get my uniform on I pick up my phone and see a few messages from George and a text from Ross asking if I'm meeting him before school for a smoke or not . I pull on my trousers and walk through to the bathroom to brush my teeth , brush my hair and put on deodorant while I'm occupying myself I reply to Ross

"Yeh man meet me at the park near mine and we can have a joint before we go I rolled a few last night before bed"

I then look at George's messages he was just saying he could help with my GCSEs and a half an hour later saying good night I send off a quick

"Morning G "

Once I've finished up in the bathroom and preening my hair enough that I look "pretty " . I go back to my room and put on my shirt and tie and drop the joints into my pocket along with my earphones and pick up my bag .I make my way through the house saying goodbye to my dad as he leaves for work

"Good morning love " my mum says as I walk into the kitchen , she comes over to me and kisses my cheek "you having breakfast this morning ?". She knows I don't eat every morning so it's a feesable question I pick up my glasses from the counter and slip past Lou

"Nah I've got to meet Ross , but I'll eat at break don't worry " . I ruffle Louis hair again and I say goodbye to both of them and slowly slip out the door. My phone vibrates in my pocket as I close the door I take  it out and see a messages from George again

GeoDan16 : "mornin matty ... sleep well ?"

TrumanBlack : "I slept I don't know about well...still bloody shattered tho "

My eyes still feel heavy as hell as I make my way to the park expecting to see Ross sat on the swings waiting for me which to my surprise he isn't

GeoDan16: "ohhh poor baby ....can't sleep late and wake up early "

TrumanBlack : "bro...uncalled for , uncalled for "

I find myself on the swings grinning to myself like a lunatic . This kid is wild man. Just as I put my phone back into my pocket I hear a whistle from behind me and turn to see Ross bounding down the path towards me

"What's got you so grinny this morning" Ross smiles at me and waves , quickly sitting down next to me on the other swing

"Just watching you flailing around like a bloody giraffe just now " I wink at him just to wind him up and pull the joints out of my pocket with the lighter in tow , I swiftly pass him the other one and chuck the lighter over once I've lit my joint

"Rude dude rude" he glared at me and takes a drag from the joint twinning with me as I do the same , releasing the smoke from my lungs with a long sigh and a massive yawn as I lean forward and rest my elbows on my knees

"Late night huh?" He smiles over to me and laughs

"Yeh but not how you think you whore "

Ross gasps in fake disgust "I never thought anything of the sort Matthew "  he takes another drag "so what where you doing then " he looks at me quizzically

I shrug "Just gaming really , watched YouTube and spoke to some people on the game "

"Late night Pub-G , it's gotta stop mate your going to burn yourself out ....you need rest ...you look like shit "

"Oh thanks bro" I look down myself my uniform it was wrinkled like mad and I could tell the bags under my eyes were dark as hell , and they were so itchy so must be red "I just can't seem to sleep right " I shake my head sullenly and rubs my eyes again after taking another big drag coughing slightly as it hits the back of my throat

"Oh...you stressing ?" He looks at me genuinely concerned this time he does know me better than anyone so he'll know I'm stressing , he drops the end of his joint onto the floor and stamps it out "come on...we can skip first period if you like ?"

I look up at him properly but the sun is in my eyes causing me to squint as my eyes sting from the light "I can't , really have to go....we can meet out back later though for another smoke?" I shake myself down after standing up and putting out my joint "This school is actually gunna kill me Ross " I lean my forehead against his shoulder and groan loudly "let's go "

After a minute or so of walking I pull my phone out again to see if George has replied

GeoDan16: "Sorry man ...I can be quite a dickwad in the mornin ...anyway how are you except for tired ??"

I look up to Ross who is to preoccupied watching the bird fly by and smile at my screen again and feel my cheeks flush

TrumanBlack : "about to walk into hell ...I honestly don't want to go to school right now but I've got my best buddy with me and just smoked a zoot so hopefully I can be calm "

GeoDan16: "arghh a zoot before school sounds like heaven man .... I really can't be doing that before school...mams to nosy and makes sure I get to school instead of skipping "

I laugh to myself thinking of the time my mum used to be like that when I was 14 due to me not spending enough time in school and just staying at home

TrumanBlack : "dude I felt that a little to much there "

"Seriously Mate thats the second time in the last half hour I've seen you smiling at your phone like a 12 year old girl ....who you talking too ,....new girl in tow ? "

I surprisingly look back to Ross who I didn't realise was looking at me , I close my phone and put it back into my pocket swiftly then shove him softly "what do you think dude...just some guy I was talking to last night ...I fell asleep during our conversation so I was finishing it wasn't I ?"

"If your sure " he winks at me again then makes his way through the grey doors of my own brand of personal hell , school , I roll my eyes and watch him trail off to his first class of the day

#mattyhealy #georgedaniel #fanfiction #school #angst #The1975 #RossMcdonald

I just had the stupidest but best idea everrrr

Heart Out is my absolute fave song rn I just gives me the tingles and makes me feel twirly 🤷🏻‍♂️

And I have a 75 tattoo dedicated to a few of my other fave songs but Heart Out ain’t on it cuz I wanted one specifically for Heart Out and I’m tryna decide how to go about it

And my brain just goes “well after your top surgery you can get “push your lack of chest out” on your collor bone” and idk why but that was too funny to me

Is that stupid or funny 😂😂😂