So For The Ff That I’m Writing Matty As A Trans-Man Imma Call It Menswear Because That Just Fits To

I really felt the need cuz I found my football 😂

This is just a small one shot I thought of based on one of my favourite songs , it’s pants and I know it could be soooo much better but it’s like 6am and I’m so sorry if it sucks

Called “Now your mine” , written from Mattys perspective, there about 17-18 and there isn’t much warnings for it other than maybe slight jealousy and cheating

(Changed the feminine pronouns to male ones just for the Fic)

I saw him standing cross the AstroTurf , I couldn’t believe that you had got there first.

Playing footie on the Astro after school is something that we always did before we wrong home, That day was no different I was standing with Ross and Hann just waiting for George to come along , as he did I could see that he was with her! Again , what a nightmare she is , and from the look already on his face I could tell that something was going on something was brewing between them. She was just chatting away to him and it looked like she was genuinely draining the life out of him. I couldn’t help but watch his every move as he came over to us, his broad shoulder and tall frame dark hair righted up in the bin that had always drive me wild. I couldn’t help being jealous of her and how she had somehow managed to crowd her way into George’s life, with her stupid little laugh and long ass legs (what that’s got to do with anything I’ll never know but there we go that’s what’s annoying me today), I’d loved George for as long as I’d known him but how could she just turn up one day and turn his life upside down.

You said you loved him did you really though , already had someone else on the go

They’d been together about five months at this point and George appeared to be totally smitten by her, she was always around , at school , when we hung out, always coming to see him at work and he even had to bring her to practise. She said she loved him too but the amount of stories I’d heard from others that would disprove this theory was immeasurable. I don’t know much about her but I know that she’d been with nearly ever lad out year and is now just making her way through the year below George being the newest she’d gotten her fuckin claws into. I’d brung it up with George a million times but he just told me every time that “she’s changed”, “she loves him” , but I’d heard that no matter how she was with or how ever many times she’d “changed” , she just used people and cheated every chance she got, she’d probably be looking for her new prey at this point. Not that I’d ever call George prey because he could stick up for himself and he was my best mate but even Hann dislikes her and he doesn’t dislike anyone you know.

And yes he stayed the night and he, he probably shouldn’t have.

He’s stayed the night, we’d spent a few hours with the lads practicing for the gig we had lined up down the pub that weekend and on the off occasion that , she hadn’t actually come he stayed over, it was a Thursday night and we’d gotten high after dinner and we were watching re-runs of friends. Laying next to each other I could feel the height coming off him I was the close to. I couldn’t keep my eyes of him, blowing out the smoked as his cheeks hollow out, his eyes slightly blood shot, his lips always so pretty.

“ Bro , you know you can take a picture right it’ll last well longer”, even his laugh his godly.

This leads us into a conversation about how he’d been so quiet and to himself recently, comes to think of it if he wasn’t at home, he was with her. We hadn’t seen him in months and when we did he just seemed off, upset, maybe even traumatised if that was the right word. He’d tried to say he was fine but I could tell he wasn’t,

Look in his eyes tell , tell me you wouldn’t have

I had to get him to be honest , his eyes weren’t as bright as they used to me, not as full as optimism and mischief as they had once been. They just seemed dull, as did he just tired and overall done with everything. So I pushed him to be honest with me. And that’s when he told me that Little Miss Jessie is just as bad as everyone says she is, That they argue all the time , that’s she’s manipulative , doesn’t trust him, won’t leave him alone. He’d told me that she’s always at him for being out and not with her or always making him feel like the bad guy. She overall just treats him like shit but he loves her and doesn’t want to hurt her even after the fact that he’s so upset by everything.

All is fair in matters of the heart so , go ahead and tear this friendship apart

We’d gotten into a massive discussion about the fact that he has to look out for number one no matter how much you may love someone, that the people you love shouldn’t be allowed to do as they please just because they feel like it. And then.

As I’d like magic he turned me and told me that he just couldn’t take it anymore and that he doesn’t want to leave her but doesn’t know what to do about it, his head fell onto my shoulder and a few tears let slip, I wiped them away holding him close to me. I waited till he had calmed down a little bit. Holding him this close to me wasn’t helping my situation in anyway what-so-ever and I couldn’t hold myself back. While I was comforting him I brung my lips to his cheek and then the other I could feel the heat raising throughout my body and when I looked at him we both leaned into each other and my world fell into place. Our lips met and our souls connected on a deeper level.

“What was that Matty!”

“George honestly , I’ve loved you since the day I met you and I just can’t watch you go through it with little miss perfect anymore I just wanted you to know that, and if ….if you don’t feel the same that’s fine….but please for the love of God ….you have to get rid of her….she’s just messing with you ead”

He then pulled me into him again , into a brain melting kiss. I closed my eyes this time and pulled him closer to me feeling his hands trail up my body until they were resting on my flaming hot cheeks and mine where shoved into his shirt that I grabbed onto for dear life.

“Gimmie your phone love” , we pulled away from each other for a second to breath and he passed me his phone after he’d pulled it from his pocket, I punched in the passcode and found her contact sending her

“It’s not my fault you know what’s done is done , he wanted me let it be , we’re still so young , which I could say that sorry I’m wrong but it’s not my fault that you got cheated on - Matty ❤️”. I send it away and got back to the task at hand.

Based off of “Cheating” by Michael Aldag

Why is asking permission for certain things, both romantic and platonic, one of the cutest, most heart-fluttering things ever?

"Can I hold your hand?"

"Can I kiss you?"

"Would you like me to carry your jacket?"

"Can I hug you?"

"Would it be alright if we cuddled?"

"Can I play with your hair?"

"Might I walk you home?"

"Can I tickle you?

"Is it okay if I kiss you goodbye?"

"Can I hold onto your arm while we walk?"

"Can I rest my head on your shoulder?"

"Is it okay if I call you (nickname)?"

"I'd really like to kiss you right now, if that's okay with you,"

"Would you let me take care of you?"

let's keep this discussion going because I'm really enjoying it 👀

Chapter 12

Word count 1013

This chapter is just a sweet little filler , slight mention of drugs , angst

Matty's POV

I had to leave the call , I want to spend as much time with George as I can but if he finds out what I did I know he'll just disappear forever and that can't happen. I wasn't planning on it to begin with I swear but I found it in my drawer when I got home I'd forgotten I'd got it from a guy at a party a few weeks back but didn't use it but I just saw it earlier and everything came flooding back after singing that song for George and I thought it would calm me down and it did but now I feel like death.

I hear my phone go off in my pocket, text alert, I'm sat on the bathroom floor again and just open it.

"Are you alright love x" , trust George to care and check up on me like that, he's so lovely what a gem he is. I don't know what to say though because I am alright my brain is empty but I also feel like I could just pass out any minute.

"Just feel a bit dizzy is all Georgie , just trying to settle down a bit , I might just need some sleep x", that might be okay, I can't have him worrying about me not when I'm under the influence because I will just say and that's not right. The light from my phone is the only thing lighting up the room as I didn't turn the light on but even this light is making me feel like I might throw up. So I put it on the floor face down and sit for a bit just drowning out everything around me. I contemplated laying down on the floor it's cool down there. It's weird you know this stuff makes my brain feel so empty and everything just feels light but I also feel like if I move everything I've drank or eaten today is going to come right back up not that it was much. Once I've contemplated life for a bit I get up and make my way back to the comfort of my bed. I'm going to call George back I think I need too I won't sleep if he's not there

"Can I call back now ?" , he texts back immediately

"Go ahead love x" with that I pick up my laptop and call him straight back and get comfy but being sure to be slow with it. He answers and he looks a little stressed

"You okay darlin ?"

"Yeh I'm alright love was just worried about you is all, I know you told me you were alright but I still worry about you", he's in his bed now too all wrapped up and I really hope he hasn't been crying that's what it looks like.

"I didn't upset you did I ?" Im searching his eyes to make it out better. I never meant for this to happen. This was the opposite of what I wanted.

"Nah todays just been weird like you said your tired , I probably am too, do you feel better"

"Not really but if I just lay down I'll be alright, do you wanna try sleep , I know I'll sleep better with your company", I'm still trying to pay full attention so I don't miss anything I can't have him upset, he's my light , I want to keep him that way.

" I'd love that", when he smiles at me his eyes light up and his face fills up blushing like I knew it would. God how did I find this actually Greek god, I can't be this lucky. "Good night love I'm right here if you need me you know don't feel bad if you need to wake me"

"Same to you , I'm always here darlin, sleep tight , sweet dreams", I watch him close his eyes and melt into the duvet, he's so beautiful, This would be something I'd have been up all night talking to Janey about this one guy that I'd found that took my breath away every time I saw them. She's the only one I'd told properly that I may like boys too , we'd have been up all night just talking. So I know she'd love to know she'd be watching down on me right now telling me to sort my shit out and learn to be open.

I take my phone out and text her , this is something I do when I know she'd want to know, knowing I could just speak my mind to her not that I'd get a reply but getting my words out it's like a little diary log.

"Hey JayJay it's been a while since I texted you last , I think the last one was when I'd started having panic attacks, they haven't gotten that much better but I've found someone to help me, he's wonderful if I do say so myself. He's got blonde hair just a little mess on top of his head. Dark eyes , you'd fuckin love, and Jesus Christ his voice is deep as fuck right. He helps me a lot , like I don't know why he wants too but I'm so grateful, I'm sure you and the guys would love him, he's like the missing link we were always looking for. Also I know what you'd say I need to sort my shit out and just cheer up but I'm trying honestly everything is just so hard right now, and don't even come at me okay I'm trying , I went to school ALL day today that's something I haven't done that in at least two weeks according to McDonald and Jamie, but I've done it today and that's all on George I wanna make him proud and happy. I think I might give it a go yanno. Take Shia LaBeoufs advice and just do it , I know you'll like that reference, Lou misses you too kids so confused ay but yeh I hope your doing okay up there lovey and having a party

I love you JayJay ❤️"

Thanks for the tag @ros3chu

1 She’s American - The 1975 🇺🇸

2 Menswear - The 1975 🕴️

3 London Boy - Taylor Swift 🇬🇧

4 Johanna - Jamie Campbell Bower ✂️

5 Spinning - No Rome , The 1975 and Charli XCX 😵‍💫

6 M.O.N.E.Y- The 1975 💰

7 Ex-Wife’s - SIX cast 💍

8 Dancings not a Crime - Panic 🕺🏻

9 Looking for Somebody ( to love)- The 1975 💪

10 Cheating - Michael Aldag 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨

Tags

1 @justanamesstuff

2 @bookish-strawberry

3 @medeas-chariot

4 @the1975attheirverybest

5 @alwaysanagelneveragod

6 @squishysoupy

7 @tillthelandslide

8 @trumanblackout

9 @footprint-in-the-snow

10 @abiiors

tagged by @dolcevenus777 to do 10 songs, 10 people <3

songs:

kinda outta luck - lana del rey

valerie - the weeknd

lolita - lana del rey

in the night - the weeknd

hollywood - lana del rey

fishtail - lana del rey

bloodline - ariana grande

buy the stars - marina

dealer - lana del rey

orange trees - marina

(you can tell that lana has taken over my playlist💀)

people: @girlbloggerinterrupted777 @iconnnnnn @iheartcarlgrimes1 @fl0raldreams @augustinaas @aspendoll @porcelaindoll333 @esotericalfawn @coppolagraveyard @balletbambi777 (no pressure 🫶🏻)

I love this outfit

i felt that

It’s the tiny pushing up of the damn glasses that do it for me every-time it just makes me feral

FOR NOT A SINGLE DAMN REASON

// 20.10.23 // Charlotte // Me

© iliwysalyssa

I’m sorry but he’s so gorgeous, I actually adore him