Softblanketsheavyblankets - Beep Boop Apologies

soon as i track down the ceo of clownery youre all going to be unemployed

w

Moment of silence for all the kids with overly strict parents

I will drink Apple Cider Vinegar

Don’t think I won’t cause I will. I will drink it. There is no stopping me. Give me a bottle of it I bet I’ll finish it in 5-10 minutes. I sound like a wacko but do I care? NO

My...my mom just accused trans people and scientists of starting the Corona virus.

:/

I’m just a bunch of atoms that decided to be a human i guess

Reblog if

It’s 104% okay to come to your DM and just say, “Hi, can we be friends?” And then start asking you random questions.

so hey who else was taught as a kid that “”””wanting attention”””” in any way was wrong and shameful and has grown up unable ask for help or support even in great distress/suffering

...and I know you’d stole my famous casserole recipe CAROL

I will drink Apple Cider Vinegar

Don’t think I won’t cause I will. I will drink it. There is no stopping me. Give me a bottle of it I bet I’ll finish it in 5-10 minutes. I sound like a wacko but do I care? NO

the way that straight men talk about their attraction to women’s bodies is so dull and colourless compared to the ways I’ve seen queer women talk about women’s bodies

like we out here talking bout

razor sharp jawlines like the kind you could fuckin cut yourself on hoo baby

those biceps like gimme that dumb jock energy, that “I can carry you from the doorway to the bed in one go easy” energy christ

muscular bACKS HOLY SHIT OOOO LORDY LORD

hands. just have you ever heard a gay woman talk about hands? like fuckin hell I’ve seen people go nuts over Katie McGrath’s wrists that’s the level we’re at here

hair!!!! long, short, loose, styled!!!!! that specific moment when someone goes to tie their hair back into like a messy bun or a half pony and they hold the elastic band in their mouth and pull their hair back in their hands THATS A WLW KINK RIGHT THERE

eeeeeeeyes. The first three girls I got with all had gorgeous eyes and all commented on my eyes like this is a whole thing it’s our sneaky way of forcing eye contact is to just be like “woah your eyes are gorgeous what colour even are they” and BOOM we have contact this is a-happening

abs sjsjdbfhekakdufurbnsnadjfifnns

I once saw a girl with a six pack and couldn’t form a sentence for the next minute

etc etc (don’t even get me started on forearms aaaaa)

whereas whenever I talk to straight dudes about women they like it’s always like hahahahaha her tits are banging amirite and I’m like

guys

liberate yourselves

let yourselves talk about a gal’s popping collarbone once in a while like Christ there are so many gorgeous things to focus on in women get creative go fuckin nuts women are absolutely incredible angels I am so gay