The Things We Say To Hurt Each Other In Order To Protect Ourselves Sear Themselves Into The Memory Bank

Opening up to someone and being vulnerable seems great on paper but looking into their eyes and opening that door to that dark room in your mind. It feels like labor pains.

I'm crying real tears you guys🥲that ending😱wtf!? Neuman!? Grace!? Kimikooooooo!!!!!! Noo noooooo😭😭😭😭😭

Wtf happened to Ashley?! Ryan!? I am literally screaming because wtf, wtf, wtf

#spoiler alert: So I'm watching lessons in chemistry and I am at the beginning of episode 2. I love their chemistry so I get curious because from the snippets I see from tick tock she is raising a child alone and I am not a patient person, I search what happens to him and I oop🥲the vulture review broke my heart

I'm litty, I'm pretty, I'm running this city

Literally screamed when that first frame came on my scream. He is so hot and I love when he makes crazy eyes at people when he is about to do something completely insane.

This is cinematic art. Sorry, I don’t make the rules.

THE BOYS 04x04

2023 Goals

I will be taking a page out of the book, The 12 Week Year, and divide my year into quarters. I will be setting daily goals that I will be tracking with a habit tracker. I will also be setting monthly goals and doing a monthly challenge each month. For January, I will be doing a digital detox.

1. Improve my mental and physical health. I’ve made a big decision to stop focusing on weight loss. I’ve always been prone to being a little heavier than most, but I believe I carry it well and that’s just the way my body is. I just want to be healthier, and if I lose weight as a result of that, then so be it. I just want to love the body I’m in and make peace with the way I look. I think it’ll do wonders for my mental health. To accomplish this goal, I will:

- mediate 5-15 minutes a day

- exercise 5 days a week at Burn Boot Camp (start with 2 and work my way up)

- drink 2-3 bottles of water a day

- cook healthy meals at home

- journal regularly

- pray regularly

- take vitamins and medication everyday

2. Clear up skin. I think it would do a lot for my appearance to have clear, healthy looking skin. I’ve purchased a package of chemical peels and I’m on my second one of three. I will continue to get chemical peels every 5-6 weeks until I reach my desired result. I also have a skincare routine recommended by my dermatologist, so I have been following that. The big challenge will be to stop picking at my skin. I know that’s holding me back in accomplishing my skincare goals. I know my anxiety plays into my skin-picking, so I will get that under control through the previous goal.

3. Transition to freelance writing. I am currently working at a corporate job in the finance industry. Although the pay is good and my team is great, I don’t like it. It stresses me out a lot and I don’t think I can do it long term. I envision myself as a business owner with a more flexible schedule. I’ve always loved writing and I would like to make it my career. Charging what I’m worth and creating a schedule that works for me would be a dream. First, I need to pick a niche I would like to write it, find clients on Upwork so that I can build my portfolio, and then make a website to draw in client. Once I have a solid portfolio and have built up my skills, I will start cold-emailing people that I want to work with. Hopefully I’ll be able to leave my job by mid-year. I will leave once I am making the same amount freelancing per hour that I am making per hour at my job.

4. Save $$$. I have a savings goal in mind, but I won’t share it here. I aim to save 70% of my income from my primary job and 100% of my income from my side job(s). I am blessed to live at home which makes this possible. I would like to move out in 2024, so this year is about laying down the financial groundwork to make that possible.

5. Read 30 books. I already have a running list of books to read on my Good Reads, so it will just be about finding the time to read. I tend to burn through fiction books pretty quickly, but non-fiction tends to take me longer. Hopefully my digital detox in January will give me lots of time to read.

Very excited for this year! What are your goals? Do we have any similar ones?

why not you? your dreams are achievable. they are within reach. if someone out there is in the exact same position you desire to be in, IT IS POSSIBLE. the only reason why you aren’t where you wish to be is your refusal to see and accept the fact that you are more than deserving and capable of achieving your goals. the only person stopping you from doing so is you.

step into your power and stand firm in enforcing stronger self discipline to cultivate a better mindset or you’ll constantly be stuck in the old story wishing for better.

If this were a werewolf book, she would be with all three of them. She needs all three of them to be a whole and balanced woman.

Winter'21/22 reset prep & plan

Hi angels, it's been a minute since my last blog post but I'm back and ready for a much needed transformation.

Winter is the PERFECT time for a reset and for getting yourself back on track after a detour (which are very common and very normal and totally okay!)

I myself haven't been feeling so great lately, due to a combination of things, a lack of time and energy and I haven't been doing the things that make me feel like me and I have felt like in certain situations, I've violated my own boundaries and abounded my values for the sake of others and a few events in my life completely changed the way I view the world, myself and others. But this is not what this post is about, this post is for anyone that feels like they need a fresh start or feels like they need to get back on track! (although I def have to make a few posts about some of these topics because they are SO important)

You need a fresh start before new year's so you can become the best version of yourself. You do not want to be making major changes without addressing your current problems.

Grab a pice of paper and pen and get ready to dig deep! Remember the theme of this is RESET.

Phase 1 (plan)

Figure out what you want out of this reset. Everyone's journey is different. I personally want to get back to where I was, you could want to turn a new page after heartbreak, or you could want to completely abandon your old life and your old self and start from the beginning. Everyone's going to have different needs, identify them.

Reflect on your current situation

Figure out exactly which areas of your life that you've neglected, and find out why

Identify bad habits you want to get rid of

Identify your triggers

Try to get a clear idea of where you want to be at the end of winter (this is going ti be different for everyone)

Notice if anything's been bothering you lately (do you seem to have less energy, are you forgetting things easily, that sort of thing)

Remember good habits/ routines you had implemented but now no longer engage in

Identify the situations/ people/ events/ habits that do not serve you, and let go of them

If it does not make you feel good, it has no place in your life

Find out which situations/ trauma remain unresolved, and sit with yourself for while and try to work them. Feel free to reach out to someone if needed.

Shadow work is perfect for this!!

Get crystal clear on who you are as an individual, what you stand for, what you believe in, what you like, what you dislike, etc. get to know yourself!

re-examine your goals and re-focus if needed

Phase 2 (feel your best)

Health

Get back on your diet (if you were on one like keto, paleo, Mediterranean, intermittent fasting, plant-based, etc.)

This time of year I find that people tend to eat heavier, more sugary meals, I for one am guilty, and they tend to upset my gut. I would recommend you find out which foods make you feel bad/ sluggish/ heavy/ nauseous/ bloated/ etc. and limit them

Now is a great time to go on a water fast if you're experienced with fasting

Try to walk and dance more

If you've stopped working out, ease your way back into it, starting with once a week, twice a week, etc until you're back at your regular pace.

Swap out your usual routine for something less intense (walking instead of running, lighter weights, etc.)

Get your blood tested!!! check your vitamin D, B12 and iron levels

Tea has so many benefits and will keep you warm!

Face & Body care

If you've been neglecting your self-maintenance this is the time to get back to old routines. Personally, I haven't found the energy for my weekly facials however I enjoy them so much and I've decided this is something I want back in my life, I also need to get back on my IPL schedule. This is going to be different for everyone.

Hair

clarifying treatments

henna masks

hair masks in general

get a trim or look into dusting if you want to maintain your length

ACV rinses are great

Give your hair a break from relaxers, heat, bleach, etc.

Scent

How to smell good from head to toe, AKA my scent routine

Also, figure out if you have BO and try to get rid of it (I can make a post on this!)

Phase 3 (mental wellbeing)

This is the star of this reset!

Give yourself a social media detox, whatever that looks like for you (take a break/ edit your followers and following lists/ completely delete/ deactivate your account/ only use social media on your laptop/ use extensions to limit your social media usage/ only for 30 minutes a day/ etc. figure out what works best for you and what you need)

Cut out toxic people from your life and people who do not make you feel good

Find out what drains your energy (people, places, situations, social media, listening to too much music with harmful lyrics, partying, gossiping, etc.)

Get clear on your personal values

Get clear on your personal boundaries (in relationships, friendships, at work/ school, mental boundaries as well)

Identify any self-sabotaging or people pleasing behaviour

Let go and detach yourself from anything that does not serve

Release shame

Forgive yourself

Recognize and stop comparison

Get clear on what you will and will not tolerate

Place some rules on yourself and your life, if you find yourself going down a slippery path (I will not vape, I will not entertain a man just because I'm bored, I'm will not gossip, etc.)

Work on getting eight hours of sleep

Journal to organize your thoughts

Once again, shadow work!!!

Go on a dopamine detox

Recognize red flags in relationships, friendships, work place, etc.

Recognize your own red flags and work on them

Give yourself closure if you need to

Vent to a friend who is willing to help

Remove yourself from harmful situations

Choose to be happy

Reconnect with old friends

Smiling is an instant mood booster

Work on your insecurities

practice intentional kindness, to yourself and others

Speaking of, self-compassion is so so important during this journey

Find your comfort shows/ movies/ food for fun

appreciate and find joy in the little things

Work on any traumas you may have (childhood, generational, relationships, friendships, etc.)

Identify unhealthy patterns in your life

Recognize what your grateful for

Recognize the areas in your life where you have improved, things your proud of yourself for, no mater how small

Heal energetic cords

Choose to put things behind you and to move on

Be intentional with everything, with your healing, with your emotions, with your thoughts and your actions

Journal for self-reflection

celebrate small victories

Positive self talk in the mirror is life-changing

Find out what fulfill you

Let go of limiting beliefs

make your self and your wellbeing a priority

Remind yourself of moments life has been kind to you

Focus on healing

Stop caring about other people's judgements of you

learn to control your emotions and reactions

Phase 4 (living)

Now is a great time for any of your usual reset rituals

Spend time with people you leave you feeling good

Do something nice for someone

Yoga + meditation for new beginnings

Practice LOA, whatever that means for you

Get back on track with your studying

revisit and relearn old skills

Do small things that make you happy (baking brownies, buying flowers, painting your nails, etc.)

Explore your city!! there are so many fun things to do

Consider taking a trip somewhere

Buy yourself a symbolic piece of jewellery

Asses your money habits

Make any and all lifestyle changes necessary

Work on reimplementing any good habits/ routines back into your life

Get enough sleep!!

Go out in nature! it's so healing

make plans for days when you are not feeling so great

I just want you to know that I am so so proud of you for putting in the effort to better your self and your life. Self-improvement journeys are never linear and you will have bad days, bad weeks or bad months and that's okay! it is a part of growth.

Lots of love,

Serena

xx

With gritted teeth and eyes burning I will win.

On calm breath and a steady hand I will win.