Your Life Got Weird When Your Mom Started Chaperoning Your Football Team’s Bus Rides. Every Guy Fought

Growing up, your mom tried really hard to be the ¨cool mom.¨ She was successful for the most part, but only because she wore headbands as shirts and tiny shorts everywhere. It got to the point that your friends hung out with her more than you. one on one, of course. They´d be over for hours at a time and only say ¨hello¨ and ¨goodbye” to you. Eventually they started having sleepovers, your mom always wore the special pajamas she bought just for those occasions. Her favorite was one she called the ¨string shirt,¨ which was really a bra made out of tiny straps with little patches of lace just covering her nipples. It always made you uncomfortable, but dont worry, the string shirt never stayed on for long. It was usually hanging from the headboard that would be banging against your bedroom wall for most of the night. 

mom: Thanks for being so understanding honey, I wanna get my new boyfriend the best Christmas card he's ever gotten. Something he can really get some use out of. Any suggestions? What's that, You think I should pull the sides of my thong down and show a little hip? Ok, whatever you think is best.

mom: ¨Whats the problem honey? Im just showing off my new glasses to all my friends on facebook. No its not inappropriate at all, I have my shorts on dont I? All the guys I sent this pic to said it was perfect for facebook, but it took a few poses and outfits to get it right. Look how many likes and shares I have already! Everyone in the state is going to see this lol.¨

mom: Hey honey! My new boyfriend got my tongue pierced. He says it feels great gliding on his .. oops! Sorry honey, you weren't supposed to know that part.

You were proud of your mom for going to the gym more, but you wish she didnt post pics of her sweat covered ass on instagram. 

Your friend and your mom have always been close, so when he got her this “shirt” for her birthday, she didn’t think anything of it. You begged her to throw it away but she refused, saying itd be rude. Now, she wears it whenever he comes over. He even took this pic of her and set it as his phones wallpaper. At school in the locker room showers, he passes his phone around so all your mutual friends can get some tension out. Everywhere you turn some guy has his dick in one hand and your moms pic in the other. Too bad coach makes you mop up after everyone leaves…

mom: Yes honey Im sure. This new mole on my back scares me and I want to make sure its nothing serious. This doctor I met online says If I send a pic of the mole along with some other skin to compare it to, he can give me a diagnosis. I need you to take the picture while I pull my shirt up. Oooh thats a good shot honey! I just need a few more. Let me get on my hands and knees with my ass in the air, the lighting is better if I do that...

You always loved going to the beach with your mom. Unfortunately her only bikini top got ruined, and the shirt she was wearing wasn't really holding up. It was embarrassing having to be seen with her like this. You had to shield her twice from people watching her as she took it off to wring the water out, but nothing helped. When Mike your bully came over, he assured her that she looked great. You don't have to worry about being seen with her anymore, because they've been swimming, tickling and poking each other for the past hour. If that wasn't bad enough, he took his phone out and took a picture of her. Surprise, your mom is now the star of his snapchat.

Your mom was always worried she was too skinny to be sexy. That´s why she got famous in your town for sending out half naked pics to anyone who´d say she was hot. This always leads to more sexting, then a date, and her coming home and leading some young guy up to her room. When you heard them grunting along with their skin slapping together, you knew what those guys really thought of your mom.