Mom: Thanks For Being So Understanding Honey, I Wanna Get My New Boyfriend The Best Christmas Card He's

With so many horny guys demanding pics, your mom had to get creative with camera angles if she was going to keep them hard for their dates...

My mom makes the funniest faces on her snapchat story. That's why all the guys I know screenshot them and trade them around. My friend Chris already has 32 saved to an album on his phone. Not sure why he labeled it 'fap material' though. I guess 'fap' is just another word for 'laugh.' In that case, my mom posts enough selfies on snapchat to keep everyone I know fapping for a loooong time.

your mom texting your friend Mom: 'See? I still got my tan lines from last summer.' Friend: 'Damn, you're right. I can't believe they're still there.' M: 'If you think thats bad, the ones on my ass are way more noticeable.' F: 'Haha really? Get them panties off and take a pic from the back, I gotta see this.' M: 'Only if you promise to make it your wallpaper;)' F: 'Deal 🍑💦👅'

Your mom was always worried she was too skinny to be sexy. That´s why she got famous in your town for sending out half naked pics to anyone who´d say she was hot. This always leads to more sexting, then a date, and her coming home and leading some young guy up to her room. When you heard them grunting along with their skin slapping together, you knew what those guys really thought of your mom.

I decided to delete part one of the two part story I wanted to publish on here. I want to redo the entire story because I know I could do a better job. Instead of Sofia Vergara I'll be using shots of Crystal Westbrooks. I have a lot of different elements I want to include in the story, and am open to suggestions. Thank you for being a subscriber and sticking with me, love you all. -sltymmy

Your mom didnt have too many friends, so she kind of adopted yours. You were sure they were going to hate your mom talking to them the whole time they’re over your house, but they were sympathetic.

mom: I feel like I’ve really made a connection with them baby, they are such good listeners. They get so focused and their eyes lock onto me. They dont even care if I look like a mess, just wearing whatever bra and boyshorts I threw on that day. When we go into my room and sit on my bed, its like the whole world stops for a while. 

mom: "Hey sweetie, before I go back in there, do I look good? I'm wearing the bra you bought me. It's nice you're finally doing something useful with your allowance, and I'm glad I had you measure my boobs by hand. You didn't wanna measure a fifth time with that little tent in your pants, but I wanted you to get it right. He's gonna love it, but could you wash the matching thong that goes with it? he's dying to see me in it again after he made a mess on it last time. Yes I Watched that Nicki Minaj video you sent me. I'll 'back my ass up' for him. Thanks baby, I don't know how I'd please all these young guys without you."

Your mom has been self conscious about her freckles since she was little. She often shared her story with the many guys that tried to pick her up. They took notice, and came up with a game to let her know how beautiful she was. Its called ¨kiss the freckle.¨ The object of the game is to try to kiss every freckle on her body.

Finally, after years of being teased for having freckles on her neck, cleavage, ass, and even a patch on her pussy, she was going to have all these places (and everywhere else) worshiped by almost every guy in your town.

The local Harley Davidson club asked your mom to pose for their daily calendar. They offered her $300 and as many rides on the back of their bikes as she wanted (but only if she wore the outfits from her shoots.) She agreed immediately. You admit that the calendar came out great, even if it was just photo after photo of your moms almost nude body. She became such a hit in the Harley community that she hangs around their HQ to take pictures and ¨take care¨ of new members.