It's Strange. I Felt Less Lonely When I Didn't Know You.

Sometimes I want to pull out my hair and scream through my chest and go back to my primal instincts of raw savagery, because I don't have the words to describe how beautiful she is and no camera can ever justify her worth. If only she could see...

I say I'm okay and I am okay.. but some evenings I barely move from the chair and some mornings I skip breakfast and don't open your texts. I say I'm okay and I am okay but some nights my hands shake when I think of getting up the next morning.

-Ritika Jyala, excerpt from Elle took a knife and carved her thighs

{Marya Hornbacher from Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia//stay away but come closer via Altusboy on Tumblr}

Zhang Jiuling, ed. by Jane Portal, from Chinese Love Poetry; “Looking at the moon and longing for a distant lover”

everyone is getting into relationships and growing up and I’m just getting lazier and finding more tv series to watch

i dont want my entire life to revolve around work

if i was sisyphus id eat a bit of dirt off the slope every time on my way up until the slope is no longer steep enough for the boulder to roll down. it would be end of suffering in 47 days

As I kid, I wanted to be a savior, trailblazer, the prophecy child. I wanted a big life, with ups and ups like the breasts of mountains and lows like the depths of valleys full of forgotten debris. I was convinced the great flood was knocking at my door, beckoning me to become someone bigger. A juvenile fantasy, a hazy dream.

I'm 19 now. It's not a grand big life, I'm no hero. I love my friends and sunday mornings. I like cats and strawberries. No flood, no rapture, no calamity- just quiet weekdays and sleepy weekends. But oh my days, I am full, finally.

-Ritika Jyala, excerpt from The Flesh I Burned