As I kid, I wanted to be a savior, trailblazer, the prophecy child. I wanted a big life, with ups and ups like the breasts of mountains and lows like the depths of valleys full of forgotten debris. I was convinced the great flood was knocking at my door, beckoning me to become someone bigger. A juvenile fantasy, a hazy dream.
I'm 19 now. It's not a grand big life, I'm no hero. I love my friends and sunday mornings. I like cats and strawberries. No flood, no rapture, no calamity- just quiet weekdays and sleepy weekends. But oh my days, I am full, finally.
-Ritika Jyala, excerpt from The Flesh I Burned
i dont want my entire life to revolve around work
"Who's Sisyphus?" she asks. You begin to respond: "it's this myth about a guy being punished in the underworld where he has to-"
Her phone rings.
"One second," she says. A few minutes later, she prompts you to continue: "I'm sorry, I cut you off."
You start again. "Sisyphus is a-"
Her phone rings again. "Sorry, one sec."
“If you love a flower, don’t pick it. Because if you pick it up it dies and it ceases to be what you love. So if you love a flower, let it be. Love is not about possession. Love is about appreciation.”
— Osho
it's a different kind of intimacy when you can tell that someone isn't feeling well while they're doing everything to hide their sadness. they become so familiar, you know their inside so well that their pain is seen by you, and most importantly safe with you
It's just how different suffering can look and feel. You see movies and shows where you see a character in pain but the lens makes it pretty, the suffering is beautiful and then you look at yourself and nothing about your pain is pretty, nothing is worth looking at. So you tell yourself this is not real- that your pain and your agony don't really exist and you're just being dramatic but if you could see what you feel, would you still be so harsh on yourself?
-Ritika Jyala, excerpt from The Flesh I Burned
Emily Brontë, Wuthering Heights.
Art~ Safet Zec, 1943.
This tremendous world I have inside of me. How to free myself, and this world, without tearing myself to pieces. And rather tear myself to a thousand pieces than be buried with this world within me.
Franz Kafka, Diaries, 1910-1923