*solutes To Nsfw* GOOD JOB SOLDIER. SEE YOU IN THE NEXT LIFE

Danm this went from 0 to 100 real quick.

seduce me the otome: camping headcanons

♤ one day, the boys and mika decide to go camping ! they go to a national reserve, and arrive in a RV. this trip turns out to be traumic ♡

☆ james

james is only one prepared but still manages to get robbed at gunpoint by a raccoon. he and mika stay in the RV. that is until Matthew is playing with mika's febreeze bottle, and then sam uses his lighter on it and it explodes. they no longer have an RV. james does not like camping. he has fun cooking out in the wilderness until while he is gathering berries, he sees suzu dealing crack. after that he walks to the local Walmart to buy food. he books an air bnb after they find erik's body for the first time and leaves the trip. unfortunately, the Airbnb was an unfortunate rating of 1 star(s). someone broke into his room and immediately began attacking james. james hid his body under the mattress by morning and had lost 2 fingers and his dignity.

◇ erik

unfortunately, erik passes away due to mysterious circumstances. during the first night, he hears a mysterious voice from the woods. he goes to investigate, and is found ass naked the next morning face down in front of a tree. he survives the encounter with the voice and does not remember anything from the night. he discovers a secret drug ring while skinny dipping in the local lake. the mafia pull up on him and he is dragged. he does not inform the group that suzu's mafia has begun sacrificing wild squirrels. he returns to the group ass naked once more after a squirrel stole his clothes. later that morning, his body is found by Matthew who accidentally fell on it. Matthew drags back the body in tears, and the group is horrified. the next morning the body is gone and Matthew suspects Sam used it as a boogie board in the lake or simon tabby took it.

《》 sam

sam immediately becomes completely feral. he loses all domestication and joins a bear pack. the boys lose communication with him on day 2 of the trip. instead of lord of dragons, he is lord of rabies. he now eats raw meat. sometimes he will return to the campsite to terrorize Matthew. Nobody believes Matthew when he says sam kidnapped a toddler and beat him over the head with the child. sometimes he will rob suzu's drug clients and leaves the goods for mika under her pillow. mika knows that it is him and leaves a toothbrush and some Colgate nearby for him, which he gladly takes. he doesn't remember how to use the two toiletries and eventually eats the Colgate and sharpens the tooth brush into a hunting spear. he eventually slaughters simon tabby with the murder device and feeds him to his newly adopted bear cubs. he and suzu begin fighting over territory, and sam wins. he takes over her cocaine empire and begins a reign of terror over the forest.

¤ matthew

matthew was sold to one direction by day 6. unfortunately, he burnt the RV down. he was kidnapped for ransom by suzu, but nobody paid his ransom. after suzu abducted him, and nobody paid for his release, he was sold to one direction. mika had to break into the basement they kept him in and help him escape. nobody noticed he was gone during that time. while in one directions basement he learned the sims language and due to his trauma, he has regressed into a sim. only mika understands him.

▪damien

damien immediately befriends the deer. he and mika go on scenic walks around the nature reserve. he discovers how to make jam out of forest berries. ever since Matthew burned down the RV, damien began sleeping in a tree. He enjoyed fishing and collecting pebbles with Erik before he died. he begins hearing voices after his body was recovered. one day he finds a plastic water bottle and two koolaid packets. BONK. he was hit over the head with a hydro flask after his discovery. he wakes up in a bathtub, alone and dazed. a open wound is where his kidney should be. he returns to the camp site with 16 liters of blood missing. mika finds damien's lost kidney on craigslist and purchases it. James helps him put it back in with super glue and some Gatorade. damien no longer likes camping.

☆☆☆ GUYS DON'T TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY and requests are now open ☆☆☆ send me the craziest freakiest shit ever and i will write for you. i dont care just send stuff to me for any fandom. if im not apart of it i will watch one episode or Google it just for you. i do headcanons, fanfic, EVERYTHING. even matchups hunny. Dont be shy spam my inbox 👉🏻👈🏻

Owo He-hewwo? *puts my toesies into the mansion* Is anywun home? ovO I... I heawd dat dis is whewe I wook fow *sweats loudly* fow de no-no sticks. *slips into the mansion* *wiggles tail suggestively* OnO I suwe hope no one yiffs my widdle tailhole!

I’m. Calling the police. The cops, the fuzz, I’m waving at the government agent watching through my computer camera and begging for help. I’m dead, I’m dying, actively, there are snakes manifesting physically in my h

Different, but the same (Need better title)

Autistic!James x Reader (Just a short drabble, testing the water a little. Depending on how this is received, I may write a bit more.) (Also, the diagnosis of ‘Autism’ is never brought up. See this post Michaela made in regards to disability in the Demon World (Keep in mind that Autism is labeled as a mental disability in the post despite it being neurological.) But essentially, symptoms that may be considered ‘abnormal are typically cured with magic. But if left untreated, can become permanent. So, in this drabble, James has Autism, and has learned to mask, leading to him being able to hide his disability from Mika. For now anyway…

You fell in love with him the moment you saw him. He had a kind face, and a very mature way of speaking to you. A beautiful smile, outstanding intelligence, and a kind, kind heart. You knew he was the one you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. And you never would have guessed that he felt the same way. The moment you kissed him for the first time, you knew he was the one. No one else could ever come close. You loved everything about him. The funny face he made when he ate something slimy. The rare, goofy smile he gave you when you tried (Keyword tried) to make a joke. And the lovely way he wrinkled his nose when you kissed it. Every little thing about him you loved.

However, even with love at first sight, you had always noticed there was something about James that stood out when compared to his brothers. But you could never quite place your finger on what that was. When he first came to the human world, he seemed to have a harder time adjusting to things that his brothers did. He always seemed concerned about things that they hadn’t even thought about, or cared about. Things were not the same as they were in the Abyss. And for some reason, that seemed to upset him the most…

Keep reading

His little cloud 😞😝

Just been thinking about Pokemon, various pigmentation conditions/mutations, and the possibilities combining the two could create.

POV: You are Lucifer that one episode of ObeyMe!

Exciting news.

Apparently a lot of people get dialogue punctuation wrong despite having an otherwise solid grasp of grammar, possibly because they’re used to writing essays rather than prose. I don’t wanna be the asshole who complains about writing errors and then doesn’t offer to help, so here are the basics summarized as simply as I could manage on my phone (“dialogue tag” just refers to phrases like “he said,” “she whispered,” “they asked”):

“For most dialogue, use a comma after the sentence and don’t capitalize the next word after the quotation mark,” she said.

“But what if you’re using a question mark rather than a period?” they asked.

“When using a dialogue tag, you never capitalize the word after the quotation mark unless it’s a proper noun!” she snapped.

“When breaking up a single sentence with a dialogue tag,” she said, “use commas.”

“This is a single sentence,” she said. “Now, this is a second stand-alone sentence, so there’s no comma after ‘she said.’”

“There’s no dialogue tag after this sentence, so end it with a period rather than a comma.” She frowned, suddenly concerned that the entire post was as unasked for as it was sanctimonious.

he!!

reblog if you:

- flinch away when someone touches you.

- panic when you accidentally break an object.

- get scared when someone walks behind you.

- feel your heart rate increase at every sudden noise.

- are easily panicked by slightly-louder-than-normal sounds.

- stare apprehensively at your bedroom doorway for hours at night.

- have trouble making eye contact with people.

- always feel either too mature or too immature for your age.

- simultaneously crave and be terrified of physical contact.

because i do all of these