Sam: Bucky And I Were Crossing The Street And This Dude Drove By And Honked At Us

Game night #1

Tony: Orange, "first to mess up loses a card; hangover helpers." uhhh gatorade

Bruce: a nice breakfast

Valkyrie: hangover? What is this?

Tony: you actually need to stop drinking to get a hangover valkyrie.

Valkyrie: that is lose, lose situation

Steve: what do you want to eat?

WinterSoldier: the souls of the innocent

Bucky: a bagel

WinterSoldier: NO!

Bucky: two bagels

Ok but can we look at how support the mum is and how happy he is to find out he's a dad???

why is the metal community so pressed abt this it’s literally hilarious. 10/10. love it. i want it.

Ok but like how do you say "No" to this.

Meanwhile in the a parallel universe:

Shield: How did you defeat Captain America?

Hydra: We shot him in the legs because his shield is the size of a dinner plate and he's an idiot.

Y/n: so if you were in this age group you are most likely to experience a serious violent crime: 10-12, 13-16, 18-21, 15-18

Loki: 10-12

Y/n: no its 18-21

Loki: clearly this is not based off my life

Y/n: yeah im not going to open that can of worms

Bonus :

Y/n: you next.

Nat: alright shoot

Y/n: men in this state statistically buy small sized protection: Pennsylvania, Kentucky,

Nat: Missisipi

Y/n: i didnt even-

Y/n: thats right

Nat: i knew it

Loki: now that is a can of worms i would like to open

Please Reblog is Your Blog is Safe for Non-Binary People.

If my mutuals can’t rb this then we can’t be mutuals

Y/n: so when you finish training in America they give you a trash can lid?

Steve: shut up.

Y/n: are you the only one with a trash can lid?

Vision: Hello

Darcy: You're okay! How are you even here?!

Vision: What do you mean?

Darcy: I mean you die-

Wanda: - NOPE!

Wanda: Never happened!

Darcy: But...-

Wanda: NOPE!

Wanda: Eventhing is fine. Vision is fine! Nothing bad ever happened! EVER!

So like anyone here like the school for good and evil???