My Brother Hates The Gays.

Heyyyyyyyyyy my dad has all of those games

You still selling that lens?

Heh >:) Nope!!! SOLD IT a while back! But hey, if u want board games, I gotta buncha unused ones, frosthaven, dune board game, and twilight imperium that I gotta sell due to lack of space

Haha another HC!!!

So, yes, I love SKZ. They are hilarious, lovable, adorable angels (or maybe demons, idk). Anyhoo… Stray Kids with Quirks. Because yes, yes, yes, and YOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Bang Chan: Half-Wolf. He has wolf ears and a tail, and can transform into full wolf when protective or angry.

Lee Know: Caterwaul. He can speak in the Cat Language™️, and understand cats perfectly.

Changbin: Muscle: He can build up muscle 2-3x faster than the average person.

Hyunjin: Starstrike. He has the ability to mesmerize anyone with a single glance, but this only works on three people at a time.

Han: Squirrel. He can do pretty much anything a squirrel can. He’s fast, has good balance, has LOTS of energy, and is adorable.

Felix: Sunshine. He can make rays of sunlight from his eyes, hands, and feet. Basically lasers. Also, his freckles glow in the dark.

Seungmin: Savagery. His sarcasm and snark are just outlets of this quirk. His fighting ability stems from his trash talk, so the better the quip, the more powerful the punch.

Jeongin: Maknae On Top. He’s kinda like Shinsou, but his mind control works better when he’s fighting low-intelligence thugs or 300+ IQ Final Bosses™️.

So I was tickling my brother the other day, and he’s trying EVERYTHING to get away. He hides in my mom’s closet and yells, “I’M GAY! GO AWAY!”.

My formerly-a-pastor, very Christian grandfather loses his crap.

My brother admits he was joking, and I’m just lying on the ground, dying of laughter. Like- losing my friggin mind.

Never have I been so proud of my brother.

Humans Are Crazy

Aliens have such different gender and biology from humans that none of them menstruate. So imagine this.

Alien: Human Steve, why did I find blood on the lavatory floor?

Steve: Oh, that's just Karen.

Alien: What??

Steve: Human females bleed from their reproductive organs once every month for five to seven days.

Alien: wHAT?!

Steve, calmly: Yeah, they can lose enough blood in a lifetime to kill ten grown men.

Alien: WHaT ?!?!

Karen, walking in: Steve, I need A FUCKING break. And chocolate. And a heating pad. I'll be in my sleeping quarters. Also, I threw up.

Steve: Okay, take the day off, I'll bring you your stuff in a bit.

Alien: *jots down in notebook* Human females are indestructible and fearsome. Regard them with respect.

EDIT: I swear, if this is the thing that makes me Tumblr famous, I’m gonna blow a braincell. And I don’t have many of those left, so…

Edit 2: Guys. Guys. What?! My grumpy menstrual rant is in no way worthy of being tumblr famous. *is mildly to severely confused/thankful/bumfuddled*

Edit 3: Why is this still getting notes wtf

What are the frogs' opinions on Toads? Do they live together or considered seperate? Can they marry?

Hooooooo. This is a very loaded question. I'll try to simplify as much as I can, though.

So there are two opinions on this. The Technically Correct But Still Bigoted Opinion and the Woke Opinion.

The Technically Correct But Still Bigoted Opinion is that no, Frogs and Toads should not mate because they are different species (the reason it's Bigoted is because most Frogs of this opinion are racist and classist, meaning they think that Frogs should be the dominant amphibian class).

The Woke Opinion is that Frogs and Toads can and should mate because diversity. And it doesn't make weird hybrid species things.

I personally prefer the Woke Opinion, but it's a divided issue.

My toxic trait is that I take my medicine without having eaten anything and then, when I feel like shit later, I wonder why I feel like shit.

Okay, see, I understand now. And no, I don't sound like AI. AI sounds like me.

This isn't an insult but you write like an AI

Maybe I just have adhd but

W h u t

I have no idea what this means

I see the words on the screen

But understanding has left my brain

What the hell

She’s $50,000 in debt and doesn’t know that you have to pay off credit cards

reblog if you would use any of the tags

I Am Menstruating, So Here's A Period Thought.

(Yes, it's about aliens again.)

We, as humans, eat a lot of food that other animals can't eat. Chocolate, grapes, avocados, broccoli, alcohol (although I did once have a cat who loved beer), caffeine, almonds, pistachios, macadamia nuts, any spicy food, tomatoes, the list goes on. Dairy products, everyone.

I am currently having period cravings. For hot cheetos, spicy ramen, raspberry-infused dark chocolate, and hot cocoa. Any and all of that would kill a dog.

But, would it kill an alien?

I once saw a thing that said that chocolate is a universally poisonous substance. And sure, I'll stand by that. If you give chocolate to any species except for humans, they will die. Miserably.

BUT! And this is a large but.

HUMANS ARE NOT ALL-POWERFUL, NOR ARE THEY ALL-IMMUNE!

Pokeweed (a little, deadly plant characterized by its red stem and purple berries) is absolutely lethal to us. One tiny berry will kill us. Oleander, a beautiful pink/red/white flower, can kill with any/all of its parts. Nightshade, recognized by its bright red berries, kills in less than 24 hours.

Aliens consider all of these plants to be delicacies.

Zygerin chefs whip up fabulously delicious hemlock soups for their patrons. Ytertjjijkis bakers utilize nightshade, pokeweed, and yew in all of their most famous pastries. Aàkî cooks use Oleander and destroying angel mushrooms in common garden salads.

But yes, chocolate is deadly to them. And the other 99.999% of the universe.