Ngk. You've Been A Very Very Bad Phone. I Consider Myself Disappointed.

Good. So, there's at least one universe that has a happily-ever-after in store for us. Congrats to you, other me!

I will read your entries, while I drive around in my Bentley missing my angel who has gone up to Heaven and whom I probably will never see again.

Wait... reading and driving at the same time might not be the best of ideas...

I’d like to announce that after many, many years of courtship, I have participated in the very human (and quite romantic) act of marriage.

It was even better than Jane Austen presented.

Well, I don't know about the Crowleys of other people's headcanons, but as for me, I'm never setting foot in that bookshop again.

What should I do in a place where he isn't, but everything reminds me of him? Torture myself on purpose? Get Muriel into even more trouble with Heaven so their superiors kick them out and he looses the bookshop for good?

And besides... walking back into a place where I just made a very dramatic exit from - nah, not really my style. So, no bookshop for me.

I've been hanging out in my car ever since the shop was entrusted to Muriel, and Hell still refuses to give me back my flat.

And my Bentley doesn't even remotely look like a beach. It's not gonna start being yellow again.

Fascinating that the fandom has basically torn itself apart about Aziraphale…what are his intentions? his motivations? did he do the right thing in going back? what’s he planning? …but everyone just somehow agreed that Crowley’s one job in s3 is to hang out in the bookshop until Aziraphale gets back…basically his s3 job is Beach.

No, not really falling. More like... sauntering vaguely towards him.

But yes, ending up in another pool of burning lava. 🌋🐍😭

You know what I was just thinking about? That feeling when you fall hard for someone you can't have.

And every time you see them your heart jumps. You drop EVERYTHING for a chance to spend time with them. Hearing from them lights you up, and your life can be divided between the time you get to spend with them and the time spent waiting to be with them again.

That agonising, heartbreaking, soul-crushing feeling of having fallen so deep that you can't see a way out, and you don't even want to.

Now imagine that going on for hundreds of years.

And then, when it finally looks like there might be a way out, together, it gets ripped away.

I was just thinking about that.

To have known your love and lost it - it feels like Falling a second time.

"You do not know me."

(But oh, how he wishes you did.)

There's yet another note from Muriel under my wipers. I was going to burn this one as well, but there was a CD with it. And while you can burn CDs as well, they actually smell. Smell bad.

So no burning today.

I can't however keep the CD. I don't have a flat anymore where I could keep it. And if it's inside the Bentley for too long it will just turn into another Queen album. That would - kind of - be the same as burning it, just without the smell.

However, I can't decide whether this song makes things better or worse.

Probably both.

I think, today is one of those driving around days.

I will drop the CD into the letter box at the bookstore tonight. The polite thing to do would be to leave a note with it. Something like: 'Thanks for lending this to me.'

The only problem is, I don't know how closely Heaven observes the bookshop. If they find notes from a demon in there, Muriel could get into big trouble. Can't have that. I'm somewhat relieved they didn't get into trouble for helping me uncover the truth about Gabriel.

Without a note, the CD will just be a CD. Nothing to get into trouble for.

Muriel will probably think me rude, but that's okay. Demons are supposed to be rude. I'd rather the little bee thinks me the rudest person on Earth, but doesn't get punished by Heaven for "fraternizing with the enemy" as angels call it.

@muriel-not-the-dim-one

Mr. Crowley 💔✨🪽

~Muriel looks outside the bookshop window, the Bentley parked in front of Give Me Coffee or Give Me Death. They didn’t think it was going to be this easy to give something to Mr. Crowley.~

The sun not yet coming up over Soho. The moonlight and fog causing the evening dew to glitter like diamonds on the Bentley in the soft street lamp glow.

They had found this a few days ago, only it was an LP, as Mr. Fell and Maggie called them. They were glad they hadn’t traded, but managed to order a CD from Maggie.

Wrapping it tightly in their meticulously handwritten note, they bravely walked out the front door, headed towards the Bentley.

The sunshine just cresting above the rooftops, cast thin rays of sunshine that colliding with the window of the car, caught the scarlet, carmine, and vermillion hues of Crowley’s hair as he slept. How could anything so beautiful ever be considered evil?

Quietly Muriel slipped the cd and note under the wiper of the Bentley, turned and hurried back into the bookshop.

A soft smile on their face, content they had done the right thing.

**Goodnight my angel, time to close your eyes

And save these questions for another day

I think I know what you've been asking me

I think you know what I've been trying to say

I promised I would never leave you

Then you should always know

Wherever you may go, no matter where you are

I never will be far away

Goodnight my angel, now it's time to sleep

And still so many things I want to say

Remember all the songs you sang for me

When we went sailing on an emerald bay

And like a boat out on the ocean

I'm rocking you to sleep

The water's dark and deep, inside this ancient heart

You'll always be a part of me

Goodnight my angel, now it's time to dream

And dream how wonderful your life will be

Someday your child may cry, and if you sing this lullaby

Then in your heart there will always be a part of me

Someday we'll all be gone

But lullabies go on and on

They never die

That's how you and I will be**

**Transcribed by Muriel, 37th Scrivener**

Mr. Crowley, I found these wrapped within Mr. Fells journals. I thought you should have them. ✨🤍

Faithfully Yours,

AJC

@secretdiaryofcrowley

@aziraphalesdiaries

Smiles I will miss for the rest of my days on Earth.

Should've talked to him sooner, I guess. Before Heaven came and stole him away.

Why did it have to be so complicated to figure it all out?

Why is it always too late?

Just some wonderful smiles ❤️

This is beautiful. The memories hurt like worse than Hell, but I just want to look at my angel right now and have myself a good cry.

Somehow, I don't want to believe that something that lasted this long can simply be over in a heartbeat. It just can't be.

He can't be gone for good...

New Good Omens Fanvid!

This song was requested by the very kind and lovely @celestialcrowley, and I really hope I did their vision justice. Since it was meant to be a surprise edit, well, surprise! Here it is. (lol/yikes)

The song and artist are not familiar to me, but I had a good time working with what felt like a good edit to fit it. I even made two versions: this one, which I prefer, and a sadder one which might show up later. Anyway, it was an incredible honor to have someone ask for a song so I guess this is me saying have at it, if you want.

And I hope you enjoy this. :)

Things to Do Today

Sleep

2. More sleep

3. Burn the mail Shax put under my Bentley's wipers.

4. Curse Heaven, Hell, the World and everything.

5. Find something else to burn.

6. Go back to sleep.

~*~

More Diary Parts:

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / 11 / 12 / 13 / 14 / 15 / 16 / 17 / 18 / 19 / 20 / 21

“Hello, Traitor.”

How?

How, how, how? How can she be in here?

I just got used to the fact that my Bentley has angelic protection now. And that protection didn't fade away when my angel left for Heaven. Demons can't be in here; they’d have to be invited in.

Shax obviously can. “I was going to pull you down to my new office, as it seems befitting for my new position. But you’re so miserable already, I didn’t want to drag you out of your safe space."

No, you just wanna throw it right into my face that you can be in said safe space without any consequences. Don't think I don't recognize your tactics.

"Besides, Hell doesn’t need to know about our little talk, do they?”

"Oh, are we having a talk?" Slouching in my seat I lean back, giving her my cheekiest smirk. Oh, I can feel her new powers emanating from her and I don't know what she's capable of, but there's no way in Hell, I'll show her any fear. Two can play this game.

"We are. I brought chocolates."

"Chocolates?" My face freezes again, this time with astonishment. "You honestly think, I can be won over with chocolates?"

She eyes me from the side. "Well, my first intent was using death threats, but after watching you cry and whine and sob all these last months, I didn't think you would mind discorporation or even destruction so much. If I threatened you, you'd probably respond with something like: 'I don't want to live without my angel!' or 'Please kill me already.' So, I decided not to do you that favour.”

All these last months watching Crowley TV? “Oh, so glad, I could contribute to your amusement with my misery.”

“You couldn’t. Although my associate quite enjoyed seeing you like this... Oh, that was sarcasm, wasn’t it? I’m getting very good at spotting it.”

“Oh, are you? My sincerest congratulations on making Duchess of Hell, then.”

“Thank you.” Shax looks very pleased with herself. “Finally, the next step in my career. Beelzebub was right about their departure offering chances. It won’t stop at this stage, though. I have great plans for my future.”

“Lemme guess.” I take a closer look at the box of chocolates lying on the dashboard. “Grand Duchess of Hell, Princess of Hell, Mother of Demons…”

She brought schnapspralinen. What am I gonna be, a kangaroo? Oh, but there’s whiskey and rum and vodka and ouzo and eau de vie and sake... oh, my! Pity, they aren’t full bottles, just tiny sips covered in chocolate.

“You’ve been out of Hell for a while.” Shax frowns, her giant face hovering over me. “But you do remember that demons don’t have… Crowley, what are you doing?”

“Right.” It’s all just a question of size, isn’t it? I’ll think, I’ll start with that round piece of cherry brandy. Ngk… why does that stupid pen have to be so heavy? And… bam! Nice little holey hole! Keep the good stuff flowing.

“Crowley! Will you stop this nonsense?”

She reaches for me, but I’m quicker, jumping down on the steering wheel to evade her hand. “What? A gift is a gift!”

“I want you to work for me, Crowley. You’ll get to be Duke of Hell, once I’m Grand Duchess. And you can have your flat back.”

“The Bentley’s fine. Lots and lots and lots of space for me to enjoy.” I slide down on one side of the steering wheel (hey, this is fun) and start to climb over the radio to get back on the dashboard.

This time, she’s quicker. Her hand comes down on me and she grabs me between her gloved fingers. “I could just squash you like a bug.”

“Right.” Tiny little tears spurt from my eyes. “My angel has left me for Heaven, please be merciful and end my suffering.”

“No. Stop being so pathetic.” She sets me down and I reach for the pen again. Your vodka’s mine, you pear-shaped piece of brittle chocolate. Hand it over right now!

There’s simply no way in Heaven or Hell I’m having the rest of this conversation sober.

~*~

More Diary Parts

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / 11 / 12 / 13 / 14 / 15 / 16 / 17 / 18 / 19 / 20 / 21

One last day to go at Leipzig bookfair.

Until I continue the diary, I'll leave you some very cute pics of Crowley and Aziraphale cosplayers whom I saw walking by our booth.

There even was a big cosplay meetup of about fourty to fifty people, which I unfortunately couldn't attend 'cause I was working. Well, maybe next time. 😁