Hagrid: Now That You Have Money For The First Time In Your Life, What Would You Like To Buy In Diagon

I loved you first.

Zenmasters + (◡‿◡✿)

pansy: when you answer the phone, what do you say?

blaise: what up?

ron: who this be?

draco: no, he’s dead to me. this is his son

harry: draco no

dont talk shit about his man, jean

Fanfic: 

Me: hmmmm

Fanfic: 

Me, already clicking: It’s just one chapter

when you’re hopelessly in love, but you’re pretending that you’re too cool for this shit.

100% what actually happened guys

ITS 2AM AND THIS IS THE FUNNIEST SHIT I CANT STOP WHEEZING

harry : you refused to identify me at the manor does that mean you like me ??

draco :

*phone rings on dec 25th*

Steve: *sleepily* hello?

Billy: Happy chrimmus!

Steve: Billy? what the fuck -

Billy: Is chrismun!

Steve: It's 2am

Billy: Merry crisis!

Steve: I'm so tired

Billy: Merry chrysler!

Steve: please stop