Steve: Please? For Me?

Person A: so, how’s the prettiest person in the world doing?

Person B: *barely spares A a glance*

Person B: *casually* i don’t know. how are you?

Person A:

Person A: *voice cracks* i’m fine

richie: [comes home and eddie is waiting for him in the living room]

richie: am i in trouble?

eddie: take a guess

richie: no ??

eddie: take another guess

Hermione, about Drarry: And they were boyfriends.

Pansy: Oh my god, they were boyfriends.

Draco: When will you stop saying that, it’s been weeks.

Ravenclaw: *sitting and listening to the rain* I like the rain, it's peaceful.

Slytherin: It'll help clean up a murder.

Ravenclaw: You wouldn't need the rain to clean up after you if you used an icicle as the murder weapon.

Hufflepuff: What is wrong with the both of you?

Deadpool totally would do it 

In a language class

Teacher: Ask some questions like "where are you going?"

Person A: *In common language* hey b where are you going?

Person B: *without looking up* Hell.

Steve: I really miss Billy, I can't believe he's dead

Billy waking up from a nap in the hospital: I'm right fucking here