My Middle Aged Client Going Off About Kids These Days And How They Have Such A Different Childhood And

raccoons and their… little hands

whoever invented cozy in bed was a genius. and whoever invented getting up should be burnt at the stake

Don’t underestimate my desire to not wanna

J.D. Salinger / The Catcher in the Rye

I hope all of yall find $20 on the ground tomorrow.

And I mean that.

wanting to talk to people is so fucking embarrassing. literally hi it's me again I wanted to have a conversation with you because I think you're fun to talk to. oh god you can just fucking kill me if you want sorry

you do not miss them btw. you miss the version of them you created in your head to which they never lived up to

the worst kind of social interaction you can have is when you don't know if you passed or failed it but you know you could have done better. like it was fine i guess but if someone shot me in the back of the head right now i wouldn't complain.

I'm not convinced I'm a person