Even If The Abuse Didn’t “feel Bad” At The Time, It Was Still Abuse. And You Are Still Allowed

When you accuse loved ones of not caring about you, you may not realize it, but it’s hurtful.

I say this as someone who has been on both sides of this. I get the insecurity. I really do. But having now been on the other side of it, it is hurtful to be told that I don’t care about someone when I’ve been exerting energy to be there for them. I understand it’s from their own insecurity but it still hurts.

If you’re feeling insecure, it’s valid but this isn’t an okay way to deal with it. And it can actively damage your relationships and create self-fulfilling prophecies. Try to self-soothe. And if you can’t, it’s okay, but please seek out reassurance in a healthy way.

Somehow, I have to let go of the past when I'm not having memory issues.

“At some point you just have to let go of what you thought should happen and live in what is happening.”

— Unknown

I gotbhurt but I hung out with. It's a secret.

“Never trust your tongue when your heart is bitter.”

— Samuel J. Hurwitt

I wish I could keep myself from dissociating and thinking of everything that's happened and then obsessing. I didn't think I'd end up this way. It's hard to deal with and let go.

if you *really* want to try and understand psychosis, I always offer the experience of dreaming.

Almost everyone on the planet dreams, and I find it to be a perfect comparison for psychosis... Anything can happen in a dream and you don't question it. This is your reality. If you're suddenly an astronaut, you don't typically question it. If there's suddenly a dragon, you don't typically question it. A monster can crawl out of the bushes or a stranger can appear in your house. Anyone can be someone they're not. Danger can come from anywhere. A pleasant dream can easily become a nightmare.

The only difference is that you wake up in the morning and it's over. And most people don't judge you for it. When you "wake up" from psychosis, there's often shame and people judge you.

You're valid if you're upset that other people were shocked by your trauma when you disclosed it and you felt like there wasn't room for your own feelings. You're valid if you're upset that other people weren't shocked enough and feel like maybe it means your trauma wasn't that bad (spoiler: it was).

Glowworm from earlier this year.