I Think The Obsession With Having Been “born This Way” Largely Stems From The Idea That You Need

I think the obsession with having been “born this way” largely stems from the idea that you need to be “innocent” to be guiltless.

If something is weird then you need to have no control over it, otherwise it would be mandatory to fix it. If I said that I had control over my stimming and could stop it at any time, people would request I do so. Not for my comfort but for theirs. If I said that I had control over my gender and could be something binary or maybe even cis, people would request I do so. If I said that I have control over my sexuality and could make myself heterosexual, people would request I do so. If I said I could control my attraction and could make myself monogamous, people would request I do so. If I said that I could control my disability and could choose to stop a flair up in its tracks, people would request I do so. They would never ask out of the goodness of their hearts, they would always be asking because I was annoying, concerning, distracting, or inconveniencing them.

Diversity is sometimes only tolerated if you have no control. If you have control, rules will be made to stop it. Hair will be straightened, clothes will be standardized, languages will be shushed, interests will be squashed, weight will be lost, and so on and so on and so on. Proving that we were born this way replaces the more obvious, that we’re okay this way. I don’t need to be a helpless victim of my differences to be forgiven for them. My differences aren’t crimes.

The Derivative Chapter 7: Commonalities

Chapter 1 <- Chapter 6

“You know I think the fact that I’m not even questioning the giant projector screen with Alexander Hamilton’s face on it in the living room means that I’ve been living with you guys way too long” I muttered, tossing my bag on the couch as I entered the house.

“Hello Abby” Uncle C greeted with a chuckle as he looked over the screen and began to mark one of the two versions of Hamilton’s face on the screen.

“Whattcha doing?” I inquired.

“The FBI is working on a counterfeiting case and I’m helping determine the differences between some old fake bills and new fake bills made by the same counterfeiter” he explained, pointing out which one of the Hamiltons was which.

I looked over the image “check in the center of his brow” I advised.

Charlie looked up and quickly circled the defect. “Thank you” he murmured, circling another difference on the treasurer's nostril.

“Hello” Don called in greeting as he entered the house.

“Hello” Charlie muttered in response.

“Hi,” I greeted.

“What are you doing?” Don asked, eyeing the projector.

“I’m running a comparison between the counterfeit bills you found earlier today and the older bills that that secret service agent lady gave us.” Charlie explained “there’s a possibility that the small differences may yield some data about their current operation. By the way, I did not mean to cause a problem earlier.'' He added the apology in right along with his sentence.

“You don’t have to apologize for anything” Don objected “I mean Agent Hall and I are- are- I mean, we worked it out. So…” Don dismissed the issue with a sigh. “You know if I left a box of stuff here?”

“What kind of stuff?” Charlie inquired.

“It’s just this one box in particular.” Don explained “when I moved back from Albuquerque. I thought I got everything, but it’s not in my apartment. I can’t remember where I put it” he turned to me “have you seen a box of my stuff”

I shook my head “I wouldn’t know what it was if I had”

Don nodded “you check the garage?” Charlie suggested.

“Yeah” Don replied then the front door opened “that you Dad?” he called heading over. “Hey let me get the door” he offered, helping Alan whose arms were full of groceries.

“You must have some kind of sixth sense.” Alan declared “I buy rib-eye and you just materialize”

“Well actually…” Don started then paused “you say rib-eye?”

“Yeah” Alan nodded.

“With, like, a baked potato?” he asked Alan just chuckled then he spotted Charlie’s set up.

“Oh, very nice, Charlie” Alan sighed “so how long is this going to be?”

“This is just for a few days.” Charlie assured as Don took a seat. “I needed to look at this as soon as I possibly could” Uncle C knelt at his computer and changed the screen to the upper right hand corner of the bills “Now the spiral patterns in money are based on a technique called guilloche. It’s like a wheel within a wheel within a wheel; a pattern created by the additions and multiplications of nested sine waves. Same was used by Faberge to create those little famous eggs”

“Oh well that explains it” Alan muttered and I chuckled.

“What does this have to do with the case?” Don questioned.

“I think they have a new artist,” Charlie declared, “in fact, I'm sure of it.”

“How can you tell that?” Don asked

“I’ve been running a wavelet analysis of these spirals I’m talking about.” Charlie informed “mathematicians at Dartmouth use a similar process to test authenticity of masterpiece paintings. Here, look it..” Charlie reached into his pocket and pulled out a real ten “alright ten dollars. Now we don’t often think about it, but someone must’ve drawn this design, right?”

“You’re right?” Don nodded.

“I want you to think of that artist as a runner on the beach” Charlie gave the visual “he’s leaving footprints which record every decision he makes; faster, slower, closer to the water, farther away. Now these,” he gestured to the screen “are counterfeit bills, a second artist trying to copy the original. A second runner. Now, when that second runner tries to follow the exact same path as the first, it’s impossible. Even if he’s being careful he can’t match the footprints without leaving evidence of himself. Different foot size, different stride, that’s how you spot a forgery. And when a third runner tries to match the footprints, he’ll leave evidence as well, but in a different way than the second runner.” Charlie explained “these two counterfeit bills have two different footprints.”

“Hence the new artist.” Don inferred.

“You find that artist..”

“Charlie we can’t find the counterfeiter,” Don objected “let alone the artist”

“You keep on saying he’s an artist, this guy.” Alan spoke up “he’s not really an artist is he? He’s more like a copier”

“Well he has to have some skill to draw something so detailed” I commented.

“It’s actually, it’s more like being able to draw, you know say, the Mona Lisa. freehand.” Don supplied.

“Oh I see” Alan muttered picking up the grocery bags and heading toward the kitchen.

“What I can do now, Don,” Charlie continued “is to take this initial comparative analysis and…”

Don was no longer listening to Charlie instead he got up and pulled out his phone. “Hey David it’s Don. Look, I want to expand the search, okay? Not just counterfeiters, but art forgers. Yeah alright” he hung up the phone and turned to his brother “good work” he declared before heading after Alan into the kitchen.

“I think we gave him an idea,” I told Charlie.

“I think you’re right,” the man agreed.

_______________

The cafeteria was probably my least favorite place in school. At least in the back of the classroom I could tune people out and it was mostly quiet. In the cafeteria everything was loud, people were moving and cliques ran rampant.

I took my tray and headed toward a booth in the corner that was empty. I was almost there when something caught my foot and I fell to the ground, my tray clattering and spraying the chicken noodle soup I had been about to eat everywhere.

“Watch where you’re going reject!” A girl who had been splashed by my food snapped standing straight up.

“Really making a habit of this huh street rat?” the girl who had made it a habit to trip me asked from behind as I got to my knees.

“You could really stand to come up with better insults” I voiced casually keeping the anger out of my voice “you know I’ve been called some pretty creative things and you just ain’t cutting it”

The girl who’d tripped me scoffed. “This shirt was designer” the girl I had gotten soup on screeched.

I looked at the blue and white striped top “sorry but I think you got ripped off” I pointed out without thinking.

“Hey you trying to pick a fight?” a boy asked standing up behind the girl.

“No, I'm just trying to eat lunch,” I replied cautiously, starting to stand.

“Yeah well if I were you I’d scram” he told me. I held up my hands in a defensive gesture and reached down to collect my tray. A hand grabbed my bicep yanking me back “I said scram”

I was tossed back into the girl who had tripped me who launched me forward back toward the guy who was stepping forward fists clenched. “A street rat like you shouldn’t be here” the girl behind me snapped.

“Yeah and a bitch like you shouldn’t be gifted vocal chords looks like nobody wins” I countered looking back at her.

“Why you little-” she threw a punch that caught me in the jaw. I started to go down but grabbed her down with me.

People had started chanting and gathering as we wrestled on the ground pulling hair, punching, and kicking. I had the upper hand by the time I was being grabbed and pulled off her by a pair of teachers.

“Enough!” Clive yelled, stepping between us. As the other girl got helped to her feet all I could think was that I shouldn’t have taken Don’s deal.

________________

3rd POV.

“That’s what I’m thinking,” Don murmured. The group began to disperse heading to fill out reports and gather more information connected to this new finding. Don was about to follow when he got a call.

He glanced at the phone and was surprised to see it was the number of his daughter’s school he sighed before answering “hello”

“Hello Mr. Eppes this is Mrs. Clive I’m your daughter Abby’s teacher. We’ve talked before” the woman on the other side answered.

“Yes I remember” Don replied already getting a bad feeling “is she okay?”

“For the most part” The woman sighed, sounding tired from what Don could tell and slightly annoyed? “She was involved in a fight today at school during lunch”

“She what?” Don asked immediately, agitated. “What happened?”

“It was an altercation incited by some other students in the cafeteria” Clive explained “witnesses and video confirmed that the other girl threw the first punch but she’s still going to be having detention for all of next week”

Don let off a breath his initial anger cooling “do I need to come pick her up?”

“No she’ll be finishing out the day as normal but I would suggest talking to her about it” Clive stated “she’s right here”

Don shook his head “yeah put her on”

“Hello Donald” Abby muttered into the phone.

“You alright?” he asked first.

“Yeah I’m fine. Bloody lip some bruising, girl wasn’t that tough” Abby replied and he could visualize her shrugging as she said it.

“What happened to making friends?” Don inquired.

“I tried. I got punched” Abby muttered bluntly “does this negate the deal?”

Don sighed “we’ll negotiate the finer points of the deal later” he paused “how’d the other girl turn out?”

“Worse then me” Abby muttered and he heard the slight pride in her voice.

“I don’t want to get more calls at work about you getting in fights” Don stated “but good job defending yourself”

“Thanks Don” Abby replied a smile in her voice.

“Yeah kid see you later” he told her.

“Bye”

He hung up and pocketed the phone. “What was that about?” Don turned surprised to find Kim looking at him from where she had been gathering files. He hadn’t realized she was still in the room.

“My daughter got in a fight at school,” he explained.

“Daughter?” Kim questioned straightening in surprise.

“Uh yeah” Don muttered realizing how odd this was going to be to explain. “She’s sixteen. Me and her mother were together in college. I didn’t know until her mom died and she was sent to live with me two months ago. Her names Abby”

“Abby” Kim nodded “you’re a dad. That’s uh that’s not really something I expected to find out”

“Yeah me neither” he joked lightly there was an awkward silent moment between them and he took the moment to retreat from the room.

______________________

Abby POV.

“You got in a fight at school?” Alan asked the minute I walked through the front door.

I sighed “I didn’t start it.”

“Don called and told me” Alan explained “what happened?”

“Girl punched me. I punched back. She got suspended. I got detention” I muttered tossing my backpack on the couch.

“Well why’d she punch you?” Alan pressed.

I shrugged “she likes to trip kids she doesn’t like going through the halls and call them names I called her one back and she couldn’t take it”

Alan sighed “Abby, you have to be the better person. Turn the other cheek”

“My innate ability for sarcasm doesn’t really lend to that” I told him. “Where’s Uncle C by the way. I want to ask if I can help on the case”

“I think he went downstairs,” Alan explained then looked at me closer. “Is your lips bleeding?”

I brought a hand up to my lip and touched it causing a little sting. “It's nothing serious” I assured and headed past him toward the basement steps.

Alan was right behind me. I descended the steps and looked to see Charlie pilfering through a box. “You sure you want to be looking through that stuff?” Alan spoke up behind me.

The younger man straightened over the box slightly, pictures in his hand “Dad, do you recognize this lady?” he asked, holding up the picture as me and Alan reached the bottom of the steps. Alan passed me and took the photo looking at it and I peered over his arm at it. The image was of my Dad and a woman with long brown hair. She was on his shoulders as he held up his arms proudly.

“Uh, yeah, it’s Kim, isn’t it?” Alan voiced.

“That’s Kim Hall,” Charlie agreed.

“Who’s Kim?” I asked.

“She and Don lived together in New Mexico” Charlie explained “and, uh, he never told me about it.”

“Well you know your brother.” Alan sighed.

“Why do I get the feeling my dad has a lot of ex’s” I muttered.

Alan made a face and nodded slightly as Charlie packed up the box. “You know we’d never heard your mother’s name until you showed up” Alan explained “Don’s just a very private person”

“I guess everyone has a right to be private” I conceded knowing there were things I hadn’t told them about me.

“Even to family?” Charlie sighed.

______________________

“Alright I’m back” Alan decreed, sitting down across from me and setting a bowl of popcorn on the table. “You didn’t move any of these when I wasn’t here did you?” he gestured to our chess game.

“No of course not” I replied annoyed as I grabbed a couple pieces of popcorn from the bowl.

“Alright what’s bothering you?” Alan inquired, moving one of his rooks on the board.

“What do you mean?” I replied sliding my bishop a couple squares.

“Well normally a comment like mine would have initiated a snarky response” Alan explained “remember your innate ability for sarcasm? Instead I got a short response. So what is the matter?”

“Nothing” I replied as he moved one of his pieces and I quickly countered him.

“Yeah right does this have something to do with the fight at school?” Alan inquired.

“No” I gave him a look “you might not want to hear this but this isn’t my first fight”

“Yeah I didn’t want to know that but somehow it’s not really a surprise” Alan sighed “check” I quickly countered the check. “Does it have something to do with Don and this woman?”

“I just don’t get it,” I voiced. Alan gave me a look and I sighed “It’s just, my mom and me we had this agreement that I wouldn’t lie to her and she wouldn’t keep secrets from me” I explained. “But it’s like with Don” I ended with a huffed breath.

“Donnie doesn’t really understand that when you have kids you have to talk to them.” Alan explained “now there are somethings that kids don’t need to know about but this woman coming back into his life I do think is something you need to talk to him about”

“He didn’t even mention her when we talked on the phone earlier” I commented.

“Well when you talked on the phone there was a more pressing matter” Alan pointed out. I let off a breath and nodded eating some more popcorn. “Abby, I have the feeling communication will never be your and Don’s strong suit but just ask him about it alright?”

“Alright” I muttered.

“Oh checkmate” Alan informed.

“Damn” I sighed “again?”

“Sure” Alan agreed and started resetting the board.

I looked into the bowl of popcorn before turning to my grandfather. “Do you have any peanut butter?”

________________

3rd POV.

“That’s the good part” Kim commented coming up to Don as they watched the woman who had been held hostage reunite with her husband.

“Yup” Don agreed.

“I forgot how much I missed that.” Kim voiced.

“It’s a good thing, right?”

“Yeah” Kim sighed “everyone’s already at Kinsella’s” she explained “Figure the Secret Service owes the FBI a few rounds if you want to come.”

“Well, actually, I got a bit of work to do here,” Don objected. “And I have to go get Abby from my dad’s house so”

“Okay,” Kim agreed “we are going to trip over each other again, Don.” she pointed out “if you and Terry can be partners, we can at least try to..”

“Yeah definitely” Don agreed.

“Okay. well” Kim sighed “first rounds on me.” She started to walk away but paused glancing back at the man “you know that kid of yours is pretty lucky to have you as her dad. I’m sure you’re great at it”

Don nodded and smiled as the woman left passing Terry as she went. “More interagency politics?” the man’s partner commented in passing.

_____________________

Don unlocked the apartment door and headed inside followed by Abby. “so you basically had three kids ready to fight you and you still made a snarky comment?”

Abby shrugged “the one girl was too prissy to throw down and I wasn’t sure the jock would hit a girl”

“Yeah well” Don muttered, getting into the fridge to get a beer. Abby paused leaning on the counter.

“So this Kim lady” she began and Don turned to her. “You guys were serious in the past right?”

“Yeah” Don nodded “we were”

“Okay” Abby bit her lip which stung a little since it was still cut and shifted on her feet. “You know me and my mom had this pact where we stopped keeping things from each other. And I don’t expect you to tell me everything. I mean I get not wanting to share but if anything comes up or like you know ex-girlfriends appear can you just clue me in. Please?”

Each word was specifically chosen, Don could tell. She’d been thinking about this. She must have found out from Charlie or Alan. Part of Don felt annoyed at the idea that his relatives had told her about this but he knew she needed to know things. Her life was dependent on his now.

“Okay” he agreed. Abby nodded with a slight smile. “Still you might want to put a lid on that attitude of yours or next time you might deserve to get punched” Don advised lightening the mood.

“Hey I got it from you” the girl pointed out with a smirk before heading up the stairs to her room. Don sighed but a small smile came to his face.

The man headed over to the couch and clicked on the tv. He watched it as he heard Abby moving around upstairs and eventually settle before there was a knock on his door. “Don?”

He turned confused at his brother’s voice “Charlie?” he got up and headed to the door “you alright?” he opened the door to see his brother holding a box in his arms.

“Hey, I found this box. I thought I’d” he shuffled into the apartment.

“What? Bring it over at 2:00 in the morning?” Don questioned.

“Yeah” Charlie muttered looking around the apartment.

“Well keep it down Abby’s asleep” Don advised then he got a look at the box “what did you do? You opened it?” he took it away from his brother heading for the coffee table “what is with you, man? Even when we were kids, you were always going through my stuff.”

“You always had cool stuff” Charlie defended as Don sat down to look through the box's contents. His pace slowed as memories started to drift through his mind “seems like you left a lot of good friends back there, huh?”

“Yeah, well, family first. Right?” Don muttered looking in the envelope his search had really been pointed toward.

“Right” Charlie murmured, still hanging near the doorway. Don pulled the ring from the envelope and shifted it in his fingers. Then he remembered Charlie was there looking up, they locked eyes and then quickly looked away. Don dropped the ring back in the envelope.

“Look, I was going to tell you. I just..” Don trailed as he tried to gather his thoughts “I don’t know. I mean, we were in two different worlds. You know how it is.” Don sighed looking at a couple photos now “and mom got sick and… I don’t know.”

“I understand” Charlie murmured.

“Yeah?” Don looked for confirmation.

“Yeah.” Charlie nodded “I agree we’re from, uh from two different worlds”

“Well not so much lately” Don encouraged when he saw his father’s face fall

“Yeah” a small smile appeared on Charlie’s face to match his brother’s.

“See me all the time now.” Don pointed out.

Charlie nodded “I’ve learned a lot from you, actually” he confessed.

“Thanks” Don smiled.

“Okay,” Charlie shifted uncomfortably on his feet.

“You want to watch the rest of the movie” Don suggested pointing to the tv.

“Okay sure” Charlie agreed, easily coming to sit in the chair next to the couch.

“It’s a great flick” Don explained moving the box off the coffee table “it’s about baseball”

“The most statistically driven sport in the world” Charlie commented.

“You want a beer?” Don offered.

“No thanks” Charlie objected politely, eyes on the screen.

“Chip?”

“I’m okay”

Abby smiled from her place hidden on the steps. She could tell from the beginning that her uncle and father were from different worlds and she wasn’t sure which she understood more. Still she was glad they could find their common ground, maybe it held hope for a future where her own world made a bit more sense.

Chapter 8 ->

Preferred Name

The other day a friends parent introduced me to some of her friends by my preferred name. It made me so happy in the moment I could barely mutter a greeting because she was the first adult in my life who knew me before by my birth name and made the intentional change to my preferred name. It got me thinking about preferred names and this came to my mind as a message to those who don’t call others by their preferred names:

Imagine you work with a person. Not in close proximity but you know of each other. Imagine one of your mutual coworkers as a joke tells this person that your preferred name is Bucket.

This person takes that information and continues to refer to you as Bucket even correcting other coworkers into call you by that name. You don’t know where the source is so you can’t stop it. And this continues for years.

Then finally you two get moved and start working together regularly. You finally get the chance to correct this person on what your really name is.

Their response: “but I’ve always known you as Bucket calling you anything else would be so hard. So I’ll just call you Bucket if that’s okay”

This continues. They call you Bucket every time you speak. They introduce you to new people as Bucket they call you Bucket in front of large groups of people and people who know your real name who get confused.

They don’t stop and when you correct them their response is: “sorry but it’s just hard to change and remember”

Wouldn’t you be frustrated? Wouldn’t you be annoyed? Wouldn’t you be uncomfortable?

Respect people. Respect their names. Don’t make excuses. It’s not hard to understand.

The Derivative Chapter 11: Prediction

Chapter 1 <- Chapter 10

My foot tapped repeatedly as I sat in a chair outside the principal's office. I had no idea why I had been called out of my english class to be here. Not that I was complaining about being taken out of a monotonous lecture on adjectives and adverbs.

“Hey Abby” I looked up as the door opened and Mrs. Clive was there looking down at me. “Come on in”

I grabbed my backpack and walked into the office, Clive closing the door behind me. Principal Brick was sitting behind his desk. I always thought his name fit his features with how square his head was.

“Take a seat Abby” he offered, I nodded and sat down. Clive took the seat next to me. “I’ve heard a lot about you Ms. Calvin from Mrs. Clive here as well as your other teachers. Many of whom are concerned about certain behavioral issues you’ve shown since joining us here.”

“If this is about that fight in the cafeteria I thought we had that sorted out I mean I didn’t cause it” I quickly defended myself sitting up in my seat.

“We know Abby, that's not what we’re talking about” Clive reassured me.

“Then what is it?” I asked, growing suspicious.

Brick sat forward resting his hands on his desk. “To be completely honest with you Abby, originally we were led to believe by your social worker, a Mr. Grant, that your behavioral problems would be expected considering your history with the foster system and problematic past parent situation.” I shifted in my seat “however, Mrs. Clive has brought a different perspective onto the situation”

My head snapped to look at the teacher. She had a light smile on her face “I got into contact with a friend of mine Michelle Wiat she’s a principal at an elementary school it turned out you attended. She told me about the advanced courses she put you in College Algebra, Calculus. As well as your IQ testing she provided all the documentation as well”

There was a moment where my brain was flustered hearing Ms. Wiat’s name again after so long. Then I finally collected my thoughts “so what does this mean? Are you finally putting me in advanced courses?”

“Not exactly” Brick objected “we believe at this time that this school can no longer provide what you need to learn”

“In other words we know you’re not thriving here” Clive cut in “so I’ve arranged here with Mr. Brick for you to possibly test out of high school”

I was stunned at the news but felt excitement bubbling within me “serious like no more school?”

“Part of it will require you to continue your education somewhere else such as college, university, or career center but you will no longer be attending high school” Brick explained.

“This is awesome,” I cheered excitedly.

“Don’t get too excited you’ll have to take a test to prove you’re capable and that’s only if your father approves all of this” Clive clarified.

I felt my excitement hit a wall “my father?”

“Yes we’ll be sending you home today with a note detailing everything and asking for a parent teacher conference to discuss any other issues that may come of this” Brick informed “since you are still a minor you can’t just make these decisions on your own”

“Right” I murmured as Brick handed me a letter.

“Don’t worry Abby this will all work out and then we’ll get to see what heights you’ll truly be able to reach” Clive reassured me with a hand on my shoulder. As I looked at the paper I didn’t feel as sure.

_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

3rd POV.

Abby sat out in the hallway at school. She was reading Twelve Years a Slave. The nine year old had been kicked out of her 4th grade class for calling another kid an asshole after he broke her pencils.

“Abigail” she looked up at the familiar disappointed voice of the principal.

“Hello” the girl greeted. “Call me Abby”

The principal, Mrs. Wiat, sighed and sat down next to the girl. “Whatcha reading?”

“Twelve Years a Slave” Abby replied, showing the teacher the book cover.

“Advanced book for someone your age” The principal voiced genuinely surprised.

“It’s a good read but I feel bad for Solomon. He just wants to escape his captivity.” Abby voiced “he didn’t ask for any of his problems he just got dragged into it”

“Do you relate to him?” The woman pressed sensing something.

Abby shrugged and didn’t make eye contact. “Maybe a little”

“Abby, you know calling people mean things is wrong” The principal explained.

“But he broke my pencils,” the girl defended.

“I understand but lashing out isn’t the answer” Mrs. Wiat kept her voice even as she spoke. “Abby, you've been fighting with other kids and not doing your homework. Is there something going on at home? Something you want to tell me?”

The girl shook her head quickly “no nothing”

“Okay” the principal nodded. “Then why don’t you do your homework?”

“Because isn’t the point of homework to practice the stuff you learn in class?” The fourth grader asked.

“That’s right,” the principal nodded. “Which is why you need to do it to learn.”

“But I already know the stuff,” Abby objected. “I mean I get perfect scores on the tests so why do I have to do the homework?”

The principal found herself speechless at the fourth graders logic. “Because it factors into your grade”

“Well what's more important in school for me to learn or for me to get good grades?” The girl challenged.

“Abby” the principal sighed. Then a thought came to her “I want to send a note home with you for your mother” the principal explained “I want to talk to her and get you in a more advanced program at least for your reading level maybe math also”

“Does this program have homework?” Abby questioned.

The principal chuckled lightly “Unfortunately Abby all of life has homework.”

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

Abby POV.

“What you think he’ll say no?” Charlie asked as he moved some papers around on the table.

“I don’t know what he’s going to say,” I exclaimed, my chin resting on the table the note from my teachers in my hands. “That’s the part that bothers me.”

“Well then I suppose the only way to resolve that would be to ask him” Charlie argued. I let out a breath in a huff. “Listen Abby, you've been arguing to learn more advanced curriculum since you got here and I’d wager even before then. This is a great chance for you. I’m sure Don will see that and let you test out okay?”

“Yeah” I murmured. “Don’t tell him about this though I want to be the first one to talk to him”

“My lips are sealed” the mathematician vowed as he typed on his laptop.

A moment later Alan came in from the kitchen and I folded the note and stuffed it in my pocket. “Hey,” he greeted “Charlie whatcha working on there?”

“Sabermetrics” Uncle C replied with a sigh “baseball math found on a dead man’s computer Don’s having me look at it for a case”

“Oh” Alan murmured a little put off from the dead man fact. He walked up behind Charlie peering over his shoulder “What do these formulas tell you?”

“The ones I’ve recovered indicate that the Dodgers are not on the right track to win the pennant next year” Charlie informed.

“Like you needed math to figure that one out, huh?” Gramps muttered.

Charlie chuckled “no”

“I heard that, uh, Don was leaning towards the wife.” Alan voiced.

“That’s right,” Charlie confirmed.

“Seems to be the first place they look nowadays” Alan mused.

“I don’t understand” Charlie agreed “I mean, if you hate the person you’re married to that much, get divorced.”

“Even the thought of divorce holds its own special horrors, let me tell you” Alan sighed.

“Well, you and mom never thought about- I mean, I was never witness to any kind of-” Charlie stammered as his father leaned on a chair.

“That’s exactly the way we wanted it.” Alan explained. Charlie shifted in his chair, eyes still fixed on Alan urging him to continue “well, it was a long time ago, we, um. We had a little rough patch there for a moment, but we got through it.”

Charlie closed his laptop slowly and I looked between the two men wondering where this conversation was going “how rough a patch are we talking about?” Uncle C questioned.

“It was when you were 13 years old,” Alan offered willingly “and you went off to Princeton.”

“Mom came with me,” Charlie added.

“The separation was pretty hard on both of us” Alan admitted “and aside from the money matters, there was this irrational jealousy. Anyway, even the possibility of divorce was never discussed, because we loved each other too much.”

“I don’t remember any of it,” Charlie murmured. “I don’t even remember a raised voice between the two of you.”

“That’s because your mother and I both agreed that we wouldn’t stress you or Don any more than we had to.” Alan explained sitting down. “Charlie that’s how parents argue in front of their children; they disguise the big things as little things.”

Charlie was quiet for a moment looking at his work. I stood up and made to leave the room a churning feeling in my gut. “Abby you alright?” Alan called after me.

“Yeah, yeah fine I just, homework” I lied horribly but Gramps didn’t seem to be questioning it and I didn’t really give him time to before I was bolting up the stairs.

I collapsed on the bed in Don’s old room. Charlie going to college early had put a huge strain on his parents' lives. What kind of strain would I be putting on Don if I graduated early? In all my nagging why hadn’t I considered how this would affect Don. After everything my mom went through and sacrificed for me growing up was I really going to make my other parent sacrifice for me too? Let alone one I’d only known for less than a year?

I groaned and grabbed the pillow covering my face. When did my life get so complicated?

_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_

3rd POV.

Abby sat bored in yet another class at school. She glanced at the clock and sighed. Wondering how difficult it would be to slip out a side door during a passing block. The public library wasn’t too far from the school and it would be open at this time.

Then her mom's words came back to her. She glanced around the class all of whom were still working on the algebra assignment she had already finished. How was she going to become friends with any of them? Most of them were upper middle class with well to do parents. Nice clothes, new backpacks, and cell phones. Abby wore thrift store clothes, had an old backpack that had seen better days, and never had a cell phone in her life.

The bell rang jogging her from her thoughts. Gathering her things Abby headed out into the hallway. Going to the freshman lockers to ditch her stuff from algebra and grab her English stuff.

They were reading “Of Mice and Men” which she had already read years prior. She remembered every word and had told her teacher as much but the woman had still insisted that Abby bring her copy to class everyday. Despite the obvious redundancy.

“Hey gutter kid” Abby heard the call and turned just in time to get hit in the face by someone’s backpack. “Oops looks like Miss smarty pants isn’t much of a quick thinker.”

Abby recovered quickly and looked to see who had thrown the bag. She wasn’t surprised to see a gaggle of laughing popular kids not far off. She looked down at the back pack and reared punting it down the hall.

She smirked broadly as one of the kids ducked and another got a face full as she had.

“Why you little” One of the kids came at her, pinning her to the locker. She kicked out on reflex and before she knew it a fight had broken out in the hallway.

When a teacher finally showed up and pulled them apart. Abby was shocked that he first turned to the kid who had started it.

“What happened?” the teacher asked them.

“She attacked me-“

“I did not you liar!” Abby objected loudly.

“You be quiet” The teacher ordered her.

“But I didn’t-“

“Come on I’m taking you to the office now” the teacher ordered. He grabbed Abby’s arm and led her down the hallway.

Not long after she was sitting outside the principal's office. She could hear everything going on inside.

“She has a history of ditching” the teacher, Mr. Simons, was saying. “And now she’s picking fights.”

“Abby skips because she isn’t learning anything in her classes if you put her in the advanced class-“

“That girl shouldn’t even be in regular classes,” Simons objected. “And don’t act like she’s some genius from the look of her I’d say she skips to go out drinking and do drugs-“

“Don’t you dare talk about my daughter like that!” Janice yelled.

“Settle down both of you and Simons sit the hell down” the principal suddenly snapped. Then continued in a quieter but not any less tense tone “What exactly did Chris say happened?”

“That she attacked him in the hallway” Simons stated “unprovoked”

“Alright and what did Abby-“

“Why do you need any more convincing? It’s obvious what happened! What are you going to trust the word of some delinquent that can’t be bothered to show up to class or the straight A quarterback.”

“My daughter is no liar!” Janice exclaimed. “She doesn’t go to class because she already knows everything that’s being taught cuz you refuse to put her in the advanced classes”

“Do you really think a girl with elementary school education like Swiss cheese is actually going to make it in an advanced class?” Simons scoffed arrogantly.

“She can remember everything that she’s ever read perfectly just ask her” Janice shot back.

“Will you two stop!” The principal exclaimed and sighed. “I’m putting both students involved on temporary suspension”

“What!” Simons exclaimed. The office descended into loud bouts of indiscernible yelling. Abby closed her eyes and tuned them and the world out the best she could.

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_

“You alright?” Charlie asked hesitantly as him and Don left the Lorman group headquarters.

“Yeah” Don murmured “It’s just all this stuff about predicting human potential I can’t help thinking about how it’d impact Abby you know?” he explained as the pair loaded into his SUV. “I mean she doesn’t really talk about it but I got enough from her social worker to know that her and Janice lived in some not great neighborhoods growing up.”

“And this predictive model would have slighted against her despite her potential” Charlie inferred.

“Exactly I mean she’s incredibly smart” Don explained “and I’ve been trying to go to bat with her regarding these advanced courses and stuff. Like, you were already in college at her age and she’s that same kind of smart. I just want her to have all the opportunities she deserves.”

Charlie chuckled slightly “you know this side of you Abby brings out it- its kinda weird”

“Yeah? Good weird or bad weird?” Don inquired.

“Definitely good weird” Charlie assured.

Don sighed “I guess I finally just understand what Mom and Dad meant when they said they wanted the world for us, you know. And that’s what I want for Abby” Don explained and Charlie smiled working very hard to keep his mouth shut about Abby’s letter from her teachers.

_____________

Don glanced up at Abby as she ate her fries, her eyes scanning over the book she had laying on the table. They were eating dinner in their apartment now that he was back from the long case he’d just worked. The man took a deep breath deciding he had given her enough time “so I talked to Ms. Clive today and set up the time for the parent/teacher conference”

Abby’s head snapped up so fast he was a little concerned “how did you? Did she tell you? Uh…” she fumbled over her words.

Don scoffed setting down his burger “Abby, first off my job is to figure things out second off if you want a secret kept your uncle is the last person you should tell” Abby groaned putting her head in her hands and muttering a curse word or two towards Charlie. Don chuckled lightly “the only thing I don’t get is why you didn’t tell me. I mean, this is what you’ve been after forever I thought you would have jumped at it”

“I was and I am… excited” Abby replied carefully biting her lip nervously which made Don shift in his seat. “It’s just… I know me going to college early is a big deal and it’s going to change things for me a- and for you and I didn’t want to make your life harder than I already had”

Don was surprised by the confession and even more concerned as his daughter refused to make eye contact with him. He thought about what to say and only one thing came to mind “Abby I want the world for you” he told her.

The girl looked up in surprise, her eyes meeting her father’s “what?”

“Listen I don’t care if this is going to change some things. Because I’m here for you” Don explained “Listen, I appreciate the concern but it’s the parents job to worry about the kid not the other way around or at least not until I’m old and gray” a small smile spread on Abby’s face.

“Thanks Don” Abby told him.

“Yeah, of course” Don nodded and he could tell Abby felt a lot better. Not just from this situation but it was like another wall had fallen down, chain had been released. And for him it was like another puzzle had been solved, another crisis averted. For both another step toward being family.

Chapter 12 ->