If Billy Porter Wants To Wear A Dress, He’s Wearing A Dress (x)

Requested by: @rora-s

Pairing: Peter Pevensie X male!reader

Setting: the Golden Age

Warning: none

P.s. if you find any mistake please correct me, English is not my mother tongue and I want to improve. Reblog, if you can, it helps a lot, thank you💕

P.p.s. gifs belong to the creators.

The Guard

Peter Pevensie knew how to be serious, controlled, stoic. He was good at looking professional, at appearing royal and detached, he was a natural. There was almost nothing that could make him lose his self control, except y/n. Every time Peter saw him walking in the castle in his uniform, he could help but stare at that handsome boy, wondering how could he look so perfect. Peter never really questioned his own sexuality, he never really felt the necessity to label himself, but he never even liked a boy that much as he liked y/n before. Since he started working at Cair Paravel as a guard, Peter felt the desire to talk to him, to get to know him, to spend time with him: he had the biggest crush.

Of course he hadn't been able to say anything to his siblings yet, he used to wonder how would they have reacted and he wasn't even sure that y/n was actually interested in him as well. Weeks passed before he decided that was time to do something; that day, y/n had just finished his shift, he looked tired but joyful as always, with that big smile that made Peter' stomach fill with butterflies. The boy waved his hand at his colleagues and slowly walked toward the gardens, to leave the castle. Peter bit his lower lip and walked to him. "Hey!" Peter nervously said. Y/n turned, his face showing all of his surprise: King Peter had never talked to him before and had never actually been so close to him, so y/n couldn't help himself but think that he really was handsome, with those deep blue eyes and those blonde locks. He blushed and bowed. "Your Highness." He kindly said. Peter shook his head. "Please, call me Peter. You're name is y/n, right?" He said, his voice gentle. Y/n opened his mouth, not expecting such a request. It was extremely intimate to call a monarch by his name. Not to mention how shocked he was because of the fact that his king knew his name.

He nodded. "Yes, Peter, my name is y/n, is there something I can do for you?" He asked and nervously squeezed the hilt of his sword, he felt overwhelmed: he had been fantasizing about talking to king Peter for months. Everyone knew how gentle and smart he was and y/n always found him interesting. Working to Cair Paravel gave him the chance to see him, from times to times, mostly busy taking care of royal business and affairs, but he never had the guts to talk to him. After all, he was his king and he was a simple guard. Peter moved a lock of his hair from his face, the golden crown on his head shining in the sunlight, and stared at him. "Actually, yes. This may sound strange but I..." He tried to say, his hands nervously playing with the hem of his shirt. Y/n raised an eyebrow, inviting him to go on. "I was wondering if you would like to, you know, some day..." He nervously looked at his feet while his mind was apparently having difficulty with basic human search for the right words. Y/n finally understood and widened his eyes. "Peter, are you trying to ask me to go on a date with you?" Y/n asked, his voice half surprised, half enthusiastic. Peter glanced at him, his cheeks getting a light shade of pink. He sighed and nodded, then he immediately tensed up. "I mean, I don't know if you... If you are not comfortable with this..." He tried to say, but y/n sweetly chuckled and put a hand on his shoulder. "Peter, I'd love to go on a date with you." He said, his y/e/c eyes eyes stuck into his blue eyes.

Peter raised his eyebrows in surprise, he needed a moment to process, then the brightest smile lighted up his face. "Really? Great! I mean, cool! Tomorrow then?" He asked, he seamed out of breath. Y/n nodded and laughed, his heart filling with happiness. "Yes, okay." He said and Peter took a deep breath, then he took his hand and squeezed it while taking a step toward him. Y/n looked at him getting closer and placing a soft, innocent kiss on his cheek. Then Peter looked at him, his blue eyes so intense that y/n felt like they could see into his soul. Peter smiled. "I'm looking forward to seeing you." He whispered before leaving his hand, one last smile before turning back and walking toward his castle. Y/n touched his cheek with his fingers, stil not believing that something so incredible was happening, slightly panicking because he was a king, a damn king. He smiled, he was happy after all, and decided to enjoy that moment. Peter, on the other hand, never felt more convinced that something absolutely beautiful was about to start.

Here's a little lesson in the Tumblr algorithm, for those who don't know: the only way for a post to be spread to someone's dash, after it's already been made, is through reblogs. Likes do very little for boosting visibility. Besides adding notes so a post has a higher likelihood of appearing at the top of search results for the tags they're featured in, likes are just caches to show/store posts you've liked. They do not significantly increase the likelihood that the post will be seen by more people. The only way to ensure this is to reblog it to your own blog, so your followers will see it.

Also, this isn't Twitter. I know that on Twitter, it's largely expected for most of your profile to consist of mostly your own tweets, and not too many retweets. Tumblr is extremely different, in that the entire site is made up of shared posts. The site is designed for maybe 5% of the content on your dash to be original content at any given moment, while 95% will be reblogs from others, and that's perfectly acceptable and expected, actually.

This is all to say that, I know a lot of you come from Tik Tok or Twitter, where liking content has a direct, positive effect on the content's visibility. I know that your FYP is dictated by what gets more likes/what the people you follow like, and that Twitter shows posts your following likes on the TL. But Tumblr is extremely different. So please, don't hesitate to reblog shit on this website, especially art/writing. If you liked an artist's work, the best thing you can do for them is reblog it because simply liking it will do very little to boost their post's visibility. This doesn't just apply to art either; if there's a PSA, theory, etc., that you enjoyed and want more people to see, the only way for that to happen is to reblog.

The Derivative Chapter 5: Home

Chapter 1 <- Chapter 4

“You didn’t think to tell him first?” 

“Well I did but unlike Charlie he doesn’t live here” 

“Sometimes it feels like we live here” 

“Ain’t that the truth. Maybe I should give him a call later” 

“Oh no don’t do that” 

“Why not?” 

“Because I want to see his face when he finds out” I replied grinning broadly as I looked at my grandfather over the back of my chair in the sitting room. 

“You know you have a liking to trouble that alarms me sometimes” Gramps muttered. I just shrugged. There was a knock at the door and the man straightened “alright now get up and make yourself look presentable” he instructed heading for the door I got up and stood off to the side as he opened the door. 

“Hello” the woman at the door greeted. 

“Hi you must be Ms. Collins yes?” Alan smiled politely and let her in. She nodded in response looking around the room as she entered. “I’m Alan and this is my granddaughter, Abby” 

“Nice to meet you, and call me Meredith please” She smiled at us and extended a hand that I shook politely. 

“So I was thinking we could start in the back of the house, go through inside and then head outside” Alan suggested. 

“That sounds like a plan” the woman agreed “but I can tell you I already like this entrance space very open and welcoming” 

“Oh thank you” Alan smiled then led her toward the back hall. The woman started to walk and he turned to me “you keep working on your homework. I don’t want to come in here and find you reading another mystery novel” 

I let off an exasperated breath but surrendered at his stern look. He hurried after the real estate agent and I headed back over to my seat. Not long after Charlie came in and headed straight upstairs not even acknowledging my presence. I sighed and continued filling in the pointless pages of my english workbook when the door opened again. 

“Hello” Don called into the house. 

“Hi” I called in reply and he came over to my chair to look over my shoulder. 

“English huh?” he asked. 

“Vocab workbook” I explained “not only do I use a majority of these terms in my normal venacular a third of them I don’t plan to use and all of them I can literally just read the definition of and have it memorized I don’t need to fill this out” 

“You do need to” Don objected “for a grade not for your brain” 

“Yeah but isn’t school supposed to be about the opposite” I grumbled. 

“Yeah well, life ain’t always like that kid” he commented, messing up my hair as he straightened and Charlie came into the room. 

“Hey” the younger brother greeted the older. “Tell me you found Emily Burdick” 

“No, I’m sorry buddy not yet” Don replied. 

“Who’s-” my question was cut off by Alan’s voice reaching us from the kitchen. 

“Hey, take a look at this. Here in the kitchen, I put in the new sink myself, and the, uh… I did the tile work.” Alan was explaining. 

“Oh it’s beautiful work” Meredith complimented “I like how you’ve preserved the original Craftsman detail.” 

“Oh, hey, boys” Alan greeted as they entered the foyer I closed my workbook and shifted around onto my knees in the seat to watch the show. 

“Hi,” Charlie spoke first “we didn’t know you were home” 

“Meredith, my two sons” Alan introduced “this is Don and Charlie” 

“How are you?” my father greeted, shaking the woman’s hand. 

“Hi Don” the woman replied and turned to the younger brother. 

“Hello” Uncle C shook her hand as well. 

“Hello Charlie” she smiled. 

“Pleasure” he assured. 

“Oh, Meredith would you mind going upstairs for a minute?” Alan asked politely “I’ll be right with you” 

“Sure” she responded and headed off waving to me in greeting as she passed. 

“What?” Alan asked as he turned to see the faces of his two sons. 

“Nice, she’s cute,” Don pointed out with a grin. I had to try and keep from laughing.

“What’s going on?” Charlie asked, seeming amused “What is this?” 

“Oh, come on Charlie. Don’t you remember we talked about this?” Alan sighed in annoyance and I no longer worked to hide my giggles which earned me a look from the men. 

“Talked about what? No” Charlie replied in confusion. 

“I’m sorry, I should have made sure you were paying attention when I was ta-” 

“Don’t apologize, Dad.” Don objected, cutting his father off. 

“No you have no idea what this is all about, trust me” Gramps told his eldest. 

“I don’t think we want to know,” Charlie scoffed. 

“Well you have to know” Alan tried to explain, shooting me annoyed looks as I continued to laugh at the scene. 

“No, we don’t, Dad” Don started “Look you’re allowed a private life” 

“Wait a minute. Just hold it a second” Alan finally intervened “this is not a date” 

Charlie then began to draw bad conclusions it seemed as Don shot me a look “oh, my… Dad, what are you telling me? That this woman is a pr-” 

“Real estate agent” Alan cut off the word about to leave his youngest son's mouth. 

“Oh right” Don murmured in realization as I finally got control of myself. 

“I’m confused. Are you dating a real estate agent?” Charlie asked. 

“I thought you were supposed to be a genius” I muttered from my seat. 

“Hey, you, homework,” Don ordered pointing to my workbook. I gave him an annoyed look in response. “No, Charlie, he’s selling the house. Right?” 

“Yes” Alan nodded. 

“Why? I- I live here. You live here.” Charlie objected. 

“Don’t you remember?” Alan inquired “I said I wanted to find a smaller place for myself, maybe a condo.” 

“I remember that, sure.” Charlie murmured. 

“And you need a place of your own” Gramps continued. 

“Yeah but I didn’t think you were serious” Uncle C explained growing irritated “you can’t- you can’t sell our house.”

“What are you saying?” Don turned to his brother in confusion. 

“The market is at its peak right now.” Alan attempted to explain to his youngest who was not happy. 

“Yeah but I live here” Charlie reiterated. 

“We are living- We are living on a very large part of my retirement savings” Alan declared 

“He’s right,” Don agreed. “Prices are high believe me I looked around” 

“Can we- do me a favor-” Charlie continued to ramble as Meredith came down the stairs. 

“I like how it looks upstairs; it’s great,” she explained. “I love the solarium” 

“Oh you haven’t seen the outside” Alan told her. 

“I do my best work in the solarium” Charlie commented seeming rather dazed now. 

There was some clanging from the pipes overhead “oh, that’s the heating system.” Alan told Meredith “it’s a little temperamental. It needs a little finessing. I’ll show you later” with that he led her out the door with one last look directed at his sons continuing to talk to the woman. 

Don looked over at me “I take it from the maniacal laughter earlier you knew about this?” he asked I shrugged “uh huh, thanks for the heads up” 

“I can’t believe this” Charlie murmured and Don’s focus turned to him. 

“Look, relax” Don reassured his brother, “I got a great apartment in a good neighborhood. You’ll find one too” 

“Then why are you over here all the time?” Charlie questioned. 

“Because of that one for a start” he gestured to me “and because I’m making sure you let dad have a life” he declared heading into the dining room. 

____________

I raked a couple more leaves toward the pan and let off a breath “you know I have homework to do. I should really be inside.” 

“Ah ah nice try” Alan objected quickly. “You’re helping. Though I do find it ironic you only ever do your homework to get out of doing something else” 

I shot him an annoyed look and continued to rake the leaves scattered about the yard as Alan dumped the tray into the trash bag Charlie held. “You know, Dad I’ve been checking around. You were right about the house. You were right.” Charlie spoke up. 

“Yeah, the real estate lady said that this property on the current market, I can expect competing bids.” Alan explained. 

“Dad, am I, uh… Do I bug you?” he asked. 

“What? What kind of a question is that?” Alan looked to his son confused. 

“Well, it’s just, you know my math work, and uh..” Charlie cleared his throat as Alan unloaded another tray of leaves into the trash bag “I never listen, and I’m always in my own world.” 

“Well, that sort of makes you the ideal housemate, doesn’t it, Charlie?” Alan pointed out “plus you contribute more than our part-timer over here” he gestured to me. 

“I’m contributing” I held up my rake as proof. Alan gave me a look as he held up another tray of leaves he had raked. 

“I just wanted to make sure.” Charlie sighed 

“Make sure of what?” Gramps asked. 

“You’re selling the house because you want to do it for yourself.” Charlie clarified. 

“No, Charlie, I want to do it for both of us,” Alan informed. 

“I thought we were having a good time,” Charlie continued. 

“We are” Alan agreed “It’s just this house is so big, and it takes so much work to maintain it. And besides you’re almost 30. Don’t you think it’s about time you found a place of your own?” 

“I love this house,” Charlie said. 

“So do I” Alan sighed “but still, the both of us we have to move on” Charlie nodded “alright now you two finish up here I’m going to go make us something to eat” 

I sighed and started raking the leaves more now that Alan was gone. I glanced over at my Uncle’s saddened face “you really do love this house a lot huh?” I questioned. 

“There’s a lot of good memories here” Charlie informed “history” 

I shrugged “I don’t really get that. Bonding your history to a place. Growing up with my mom we were always on the move. I was thirteen when we got our own stable place that actually was ours not a transition or one of her boyfriends places. I never really had a place that was home” 

“I’m sorry” Charlie murmured. 

I shrugged “just because I didn’t have a place doesn’t mean I didn’t have anything. Maybe if I did i’d hate to lose it too” 

“Yeah” Charlie nodded and looked back at the house with a sigh. 

__________

3rd POV. 

Don sighed entering the Burdick’s kitchen where Ethan was pouring himself some coffee before heading back to work with Charlie and Amita on the fake algorithm. The mathematician's hands were shaking and he missed the cup slightly splashing hot coffee on his hand. He winced, nearly dropping the cup. 

“Here let me” Don intervened taking the coffee pot and mug filling it as Ethan grabbed a towel to wipe his hand off. The frightened man let off a shaky breath. 

They were silent for a moment before Ethan spoke up “do you have any children Agent Eppes?” 

Don was caught off guard slightly by the question. “Yeah” he nodded “a daughter she’s sixteen”

“Then you understand” Ethan voiced turning to the agent “Emily is everything to me. Is there anything you wouldn’t do for your daughter?” 

“No” Don murmured without even having to think. 

“I have to get Emily back no matter what and- and if she dies-” he choked on his words. “I can’t lose her” 

“I know.” Don sighed “I only met my daughter about two months ago and I can tell you it- it changed everything for me. There was this one time she went missing it was only for an hour or so but for me it felt like an eternity. I couldn’t think straight I- I was terrified with a kind of fear I’d never felt before and- and she was okay. So I can’t even begin to imagine what this is like for you. But I can promise you I will do whatever it takes to try and get your daughter back to you. Okay?” 

Ethan took a deep breath “okay” he grabbed the coffee mug and started to head back to the table to work but paused looking back at Don. “What's your daughter’s name?” 

“Abby” Don replied. Ethan nodded and continued out to the table leaving Don there in the kitchen with his thoughts. 

______________

Don came into his apartment with a sigh glad to finally be back after working so hard on the case. “I’m home brought dinner” he called, setting the pizza he’d gotten down on the counter. Abby appeared after a moment from upstairs. 

“What’d you get?” she asked hopping onto a bar stool as he grabbed a beer from the fridge. 

“Meat lovers” 

“Yes!” she cheered, folding the box and grabbing a slice. “Grab me a Mountain Dew” she asked while he was in the fridge and he pulled the can from the shelf in the door and sat it on the counter. “Thank you” 

Don popped the lid off his beer and went to get his own piece of pizza. “You get your homework done?” 

“Yes” Abby grumbled “finally. I swear they give me more just because they know I hate it” 

Don scoffed “yeah I thought the same thing in school and I wasn’t a genius.” 

Abby hummed “So guess what Charlie told me.” 

“What?” 

“He’s buying the house from Gramps” Abby informed. 

Don looked at her shocked “no way” 

“Yes way” Abby nodded, “apparently he has a lot saved up since, you know, he’s never had to pay rent or anything before and he liked the house so…” she shrugged, taking a sip of her soda. 

“Huh” Don muttered. 

“I’m glad,” Abby declared. 

“Yeah why’s that?” Don asked. 

“Spend a lot of time there and it’s a cool house” Abby explained. 

“Fair enough” the man conceded. 

“Don’t you care about it?” she asked. 

“Yeah but you know it’s just a place right? I moved out ages ago.” 

“Doesn’t seem like it” 

“Well, yeah alright” Don muttered giving Abby a look as she smirked. “Seriously though working with the FBI I moved around a lot guess it helps you realize that what they say is true” 

“What they say?” Abby questioned. 

“Yeah” Don shrugged “home isn’t really a place it’s a people” 

Abby smiled “well I like you people” she declared. 

Don chuckled “me too kid” and he raised up his bottle a bit and Abby tapped it with her soda can for their own little toast. 

Chapter 6 -> 

Kitty realizes she has more than one paw

(via)

[Watching Raiders of the Lost Ark]

Son: Who are the bad guys in this movie? Husband: The Nazis. [pause for a beat] Again. Except not in space this time.  Me: Yes, Nazis, take note: whether you’re on land or in space, either way Harrison Ford is coming to foil your plans. 

running a tumblr blog is really just being like I’ve become obsessed with this new thing and now I’m going to make it everyone else’s problem

My Coming Out Story

Disclaimer: Due to the personal nature of this story names have been changed as to not reveal peoples identity.  I’m not sure why I decided to post this story now. It’s something I’ve hadn’t written for awhile but never knew when or where to place it. I’m posting it now and I hope that if someone needs it now in their life they can read it and feel a little better about how things are going.  When I was little I really didn’t have a concept of what gay was. I grew up in a loving christian home with my mechanical engineer turned youth minister mom and my current electrical engineer dad who was also the music leader at church for a number of years. There were also my three siblings of which I was the second oldest. My life revolved around church. It was literally where I went to preschool and I spent at least five days a week there well into my teenage years. 

Growing up in this way wasn’t bad. I had a great community and family. However, that changed. I remember thinking during my elementary school days that I thought of guys and girls the same. The only thing was that I understood that when you get married girls marry guys and vice versa. That’s just how it was and I thought everyone felt the way I did. You just had to pair up like that. 

I had heard the word gay and understood the concept of it when I was in elementary school thanks to my church and one kid at my school. My mom told me he was gay and I didn’t believe it because he was so nice and from what I understood gay meant bad. (He came out when we were in middle school and was one of my inspirations later on.) 

Still the first time I had a personal connection with having that label was when some girls started a rumor that me and one of my best friends who was also female had kissed on the playground during recess. This was an outright lie and my violent tendencies at the time due to (at that time) unmedicated ADHD caused me to lash out and beat up the bully which got me sent to the principal's office. I didn’t tell anyone why I had beat up the girl just that she was being mean to my friend. As I was a frequent flyer in the office at that time they didn’t really question me all that hard anyway. Now that I’m older I can’t really tell you why I didn’t tell anyone what the girls said. Whether I was embarrassed, scared, or just too stubborn to give them an answer I don’t remember I just know I didn’t. 

Fast forward to middle school and I was a far more awkward, less violent teen. At this point I was still pretty unaware of the world around me in regards to the LGBT. I knew that there were some kids in my grade that had come out as LGBT that kid I mentioned before among them. Still to me it was something that was viewed as a bad thing they were sinners. It was all what church had taught me whether it be explicitly by some or implicitly by the majority it was still something I picked up on as a child. 

Then one day my mom told me that we had been invited by two of her friends from college to have lunch with them. It was at one of my favorite little cafes so I was really excited. She told me they were psychologists and that they were together. She also told me they were two men. I was shocked. I didn’t think gay people could have significant relationships like straight people. On top of that I couldn’t imagine my mom -- who by all accounts was the symbol of a perfect godly woman to my entire church community -- could be friends with them. 

Her response to my shock: “We’re christians, they are not, we hate the sin but we love the sinner. Despite being gay they are still good people but since they aren’t christians we can’t hold them to the same standard as us. They simply don’t believe in it.” (I paraphrased but this is the general idea of the conversation) 

It was the first time I had heard such a sentiment and I went into that lunch with a curious perspective. I was still a little shy so I didn’t ask about it but I watched them together, made note of their wedding bands (gay marriage wasn’t legal then but they were symbolic to them), and witnessed their love for each other. After that I started finding myself paying more attention to my peers who had come out. Many of which I ran in the same circles as. The more I watched and interacted and bonded with them the more my bigoted thoughts that gays were these lustful bad people faded and I realized they were normal people. 

That’s when I realized something. Not everyone loves both guys and girls and just picks a side. I learned that bisexuality existed. The next step I took in my journey was repression. I was a christian. Christians were not gay. I was not gay. I could not be gay. I was just imagining it and it’s not a big deal. Afterall I still like guys so we're fine. 

This lasted until my sophomore year of high school, choir class, and a girl with freckles, short multi colored hair, dazzling eyes, and the singing voice of an angel. The panic was real and my emotions would not shut up. I couldn't come to terms with it. With any of it. 

I denied my feelings for most of that year until one day I was with two of my friends. We were all writers and talking about different stories we were working on. Then one of them paused in the middle of what she was saying and turned to me saying “these characters are gay. We know you don’t believe in that stuff but that’s what it is” 

I looked back at her in shock and I responded with “that’s okay. I am a christian and while I might never practice that myself I’m okay with other people doing it. Hate the sin, love the sinner” my friend smiled at me and said that was the first time she’d heard such an accepting thing from a christian and continued telling us about her story as we headed to class. 

I was glad I put a smile on her face and made her feel accepted but honestly I felt like a complete piece of garbage. I’d simply parroted back to hear all the stuff that had been shoved down my throat for my entire life. Did I really believe it though? I couldn’t stop thinking about that conversation for the rest of the week. I also couldn’t stop thinking about that girl from choir class but that was honestly nothing new. 

About a week later our school had standardized testing going on. Which divided up kids into computer labs by grade and last name. Me and one of my guy friends we’ll call him Cane had luckily been seated near each other. During one of our breaks when we were allowed to talk. I went over and leaned on the desk next to him. He vented to me about how he had a crush on one of our mutual friends and was thinking about asking her out but was nervous. I gave him encouragement as best I could then he inquired whether I was interested in anyone. Before I really thought about it I answered yes. He asked who and after only a few moments of deliberation I admitted that it was the girl from my choir class. He acknowledged and agreed that she was cute before continuing on. I looked at him in surprise and pointed out to him that she was female. He said he knows and that it wasn’t that big of a deal if I liked girls. I thanked him and asked him not to tell anyone because I still wasn’t sure. He agreed to keep it under wraps but did tease me a little for my crush. 

After that conversation. I finally took the leap and began to look up the LGBT community online. I found forums and support centers and ted talks and messages and christians saying that LGBT was okay. I was ecstatic but still I was worried so I prayed and the more I prayed and researched and talked with other LGBT people the more I felt like a giant weight had been lifted off my chest. Finally I could admit to myself that I was in fact bisexual and I was okay with that and so was my God. 

I still wasn’t comfortable coming out to anyone yet. So I spent more time on online forums for LGBT youth and writers. I learned about the community and I embraced my crush on the girl in choir. Even though it didn’t pan out and I fell for a boy we’ll call him Reese and started dating him my junior year. It felt like things were going okay. I was able to tell one of my friends call them Alex finally that year and they intern told me that they were asexual. We were able to support each other in our closets and were happy. 

During my Junior year even though my feelings for the choir girl faded I ended up meeting another girl in my Fire and Rescue class at the career education center that partnered with my high school. We’ll call her Polly. She was an incredible person, bright and beautiful and unabashedly herself all the time. We bonded over marvel movies and writing. Even though I was dating Reese at the time I was falling head over heels for this girl. It took me a while to figure it out as slowly me and Polly became better friends but I was developing feelings for her.

Finally, my senior I got the courage (with support of Alex) to come out to my main friend group. It was at a marching band competition and everyone was super supportive. My best friend you can call her April she said she wasn’t surprised and Reese who was still my boyfriend at the time said he loved me and would always support me and this didn’t change that. I even came back out to Cane again because I had genuinely forgotten that he already knew. He reminded me of what he said that day. That it didn’t matter and he wouldn’t tell a soul. They were all proud of me for owning who I was. It was one of the happiest moments of my life.

However, it couldn’t last. When I was telling April one of the band mom’s overheard and gave me a shocked and disgusted look. She didn’t say anything but she didn’t have to. She was known for being the gossip of the group and she was a religious friend of my moms. If she had overheard then it was only a matter of time before she told my mother. 

I was terrified. When I got home from the competition I watched my mom to see if she was going to react at all to me. She didn’t and I realized she hadn’t been told yet. I was relieved but knew that I wanted to be the one to tell my mom. I didn’t want her to hear it from a secondary source, especially not the gossip. So I got on one of my forums and talked to some LGBT friends who encouraged me before I took a deep breath and headed into my parents room. 

My dad was away on business so it was just my mother. I told her I had something to tell her and she gave me her attention. I explained that I had come to accept myself as I am and that I knew God had also accepted me as the way I am. I told her I was bisexual and waited watching her. 

She stared at me for a long moment. Her face was a mixture of confusion and fear and the next words out of her mouth I will never forget she asked “does this mean you’re going to hell?” 

I felt like someone had just pulled the floor out from under me. She didn’t understand and spent the next couple minutes trying to convince me I was mistaken or that this was wrong. We stayed civil and eventually she just said she needed to process this and sent me back to my room. I cried myself to sleep that night. 

The next day at school I told my friends what happened and they comforted me. When I got back from school and band practice I hid in my room until that evening when my father got home from his business trip. He came to my door and told me we needed to talk. My younger sisters were banished to their room as me, my mom, and my dad - who had been told by my mom - sat in the living room to discuss the fact that I was gay. 

Shortly after starting the conversation/argument a boy (Derek) who was like my older brother came over. He wasn’t biologically related to us but he had a key to the house, would often come over, referred to us as his siblings/parents, and was referred to by us as our brother/son. Me and him were very close and despite my parents wanting to send him to the other room I insisted he stay as things had already begun to get heated between me and my father. 

Derek helped keep the tension down but there was still plenty of yelling. He acted as an impartial mediator for most of it. My dad yelled a lot, my mother cried, I both yelled and cried. It was a rough night. It ended with me storming back to my room. A while later Derek came to my room and talked with me. He explained that he didn’t understand or know if he agreed with it but he’d make the effort and be there for me. I thanked him.

My house after that was tense to say the least. My parents avoid the subject at all costs. My sisters knew thanks to the yelling that night but didn’t comment on it. The next time my mom brought it up was to tell me that I couldn’t tell my cousin about it because she would spread it to the rest of my dad’s side of the family. She also said I couldn’t tell her mother, my grandmother, because she had a heart condition and it could kill her. Sometimes I still wonder how my grandmother would have reacted had I told her before she died. She once told me she had a friend who was gay and that she cared about him deeply. I think she would have accepted me. 

The first time my siblings brought it up was when me and my two younger sisters were left in the car while my mom ran into the store. We were listening to music and chatting when my sister asked “so how long did you know you were bi” I was surprised because up until then I hadn’t realized my sisters knew I was bisexual. I explained it to them briefly and asked what they thought of it. They both said they agreed that people should be able to love who they want to love. Though my sister Greta thought it was kinda gross because she didn’t get how two of the same gender could have sex. Still it didn’t change anything for them and they apologized for how our parents had been handling it. I was so thankful for their support. 

By the end of my senior year I was out and proud to all of my peers. I came out to my friend Hannah and Derek's girlfriend Mary at the same time as a casual drop in a conversation. Neither reacted at the time but asked me about it later. Mary more directly wanting to understand as both her and Derek are very religious. While Hannah was more of making a comment about me eyeing a girl that I had a crush on and being obvious. I can’t remember when I came out to my older brother James who lives in a different city. However, he never really questioned it beyond being tense when I brought it up around our parents. I was becoming bold in my identity. I had even written a love poem about about girl (Polly) for an english class assignment to stick it too a homophobic teacher. 

I ended up breaking up with Reese pretty early on my senior year as I realized what I felt for Polly. To this day I still consider my feelings for her the first time I fell in love with someone. I cared about Reese deeply and still do but only ever as a friend. Since we were in middle school people had been pushing us together and while we fit together on paper and from the outside. My feelings inside didn’t match and I didn’t want to lead him on. Polly was the one I truly wanted to be with but the same couldn’t be said for her. She had met a boy in her senior year and they were starting to talk. She really liked him and I was her main confidant for her feelings. I took them and I encouraged her to pursue a relationship with the boy because I knew she felt for him more than she did for me. She loved me but only as a friend. As her and her boyfriend got closer I worked to let go of my feelings for her gradually. 

Meanwhile my parents were like a looming dark cloud and it felt like I was stuck in a cage of some sort anytime I left the shelter of my friends. This only got worse when I graduated that spring and summer rolled around. I tried to get out of the house as much as possible but I didn’t drive and this made things difficult. The relationship between me and my parents began to get more and more strained to the point I almost ran away one night after my mom punched me. 

I began to view leaving for college that fall to be the holy land. My montra became that if I could only survive the summer I could make it. Me and my friend Hannah were going to the same college and going to be roommates. I was going to get to study what I loved and be who I was. I went into survival mode. Then the biggest mental strain hit. 

Every year since I was nine years old I went to church camp for a week in the summer. I had been going longer than I was supposed to because my mom was a leader of the camp and my whole family got to go even Derek and Mary. Normally Hannah would come as well but she had something else come up that year and couldn’t. I knew the place very well and absolutely loved it. It was a time of year I looked forward to and couldn’t wait to go back too especially since I was now a worker at the camp instead of just a camper. 

This year was tougher than most. I was given a lecture about not telling anyone that I was bisexual before I left because if they found out I was gay I wouldn’t be allowed to come back to camp. I was horrified at the idea and tried my best not to think about it. Even when I got a crush on my fellow female camp worker. It was a stressful week and it all culminated one night. 

I can’t tell you whether I believed what I felt in that moment. It all felt like a blur like I was about to shatter under the weight of everything bearing down on me all the lying and fighting. I think part of me wanted to believe that me being gay could be prayed away that night and that I could just stop having to deal with all this pressure. So that’s what happened. I told one of my leaders and they asked me a bunch of questions like had I kissed a girl or had sex and then they prayed for me.  

Afterward I told my mom and she literally cried about it hugging me and thanking God that I was healed. I felt sick and I threw up before I went to sleep that night. 

I went to college that summer as a straight girl and I held on to that label for most of my first semester. I loved college. Me and my roommate/best friend Hannah met three great friends that first semester, Sylas, Kurt, and Randall. Sylas was busy a lot so we mostly hung out with Kurt and Randall. All of us played D&D together and had movie nights. Me and Hannah also found a christian group on campus and got settled there. 

I thought I was happy with my life however I still felt sick and disjointed anytime the concept of homosexuality got brought up. It was a hard time and I prayed about it alot. I talked to some of my church friends about how I had turned back to straight. Until one day a video ended up in my recommendations and it was a ted talk. I clicked on it not realizing what it was and found that it was a gay christan woman talking about how these two factors don’t have to be mutually exclusive in life. I was riveted, I watched the entire video twice and felt my heart be convicted. God never wanted me to be straight; he never wanted me to change who I was. I loved me how I was. It was the people who had the problem. 

The minute Hannah got back to the dorm I came back out to her. Her exact words were “ah so you finally figured that out”. I was so grateful to have her in my life and we talked for hours after that. Not long after I started coming out to people again and in turn Randall came out to us about how he was bisexual as well. I finally felt free again. Going back home that winter was tough, however, it was made better by the support of my friends with regular skype calls and group chat messages. Not to mention since my parents thought I was straight they weren’t pressuring me anymore. 

When I went back to school things were still going great and I ended up meeting a girl named Eve in my EMT class. We immediately hit it off and started talking. It wasn’t long before I formed a huge crush on her but she was getting over a break up and I didn’t want to push. Still we became extremely close. Eventually, she did start dating a guy me and Hannah knew from a gamers club on campus. I had missed my shot. Then I went home for spring break and had to stay due to the COVID-19 pandemic. It was hard being away from my friends and stuck in my parents house. Still we all had regular skype D&D sessions and texted a lot on the groupchat. 

During the months I was stuck at home I got a job working at the local Home Depot. I was excited to work as it was my first real job. My grandmother had owned a family business but I didn’t do much other than stock shelves there. Here I was a cashier and I enjoyed my job a lot even though it could get crazy. Then one day I was at my register and a fellow coworker I was aware worked in the paint department approached my register with a polar pop and asked where her wife was. I was confused and she noticed I was new and said not to worry about it and have a good day. I watched after her and saw her go up and greet my head cashier who was a female and give her the polar pop before heading back to the paint department. I was astounded. 

Not long after I had it confirmed that her and the female head cashier were married. Another cashier came out to me as non-binary and another cashier told me her brother was gay and she’d be the loudest ally ever if anyone tried to mess with me. I felt accepted like nothing else. It was incredible to feel so validated and free to be myself in my workplace. 

Going back to school that fall was difficult due to COVID-19. Me and my friends (Polly as well as she began attending college with us that year) could no longer host D&D at my and Hannah’s dorm like we did before because of the regulations. Thankfully Eve came up with a solution. She was the only one of us who lived off campus in a house she rented. We were welcome there anytime. I still had a massive crush on her and when I found out she had broken up with her boyfriend over the summer I almost asked her out. However, another guy had beaten me to it. We ended up going over to Eve’s house multiple times a week and I would go even when the rest of the group wasn’t before long I was sleeping over at her house regularly. Often when it wasn’t even planned. I was even dubbed the most responsible friend by her grandmother who absolutely loved me. 

Then her boyfriend at the time dumped her. The entire group rallied to comfort and support her. She took it really hard and I stayed over for a weekend to make sure she was alright. My feelings really started to grow as we got more physically intimate with cuddling and laying in bed together still it was all considered platonic. I really wanted to ask her out but didn’t know when it was too soon. Hannah and Polly both encouraged me to ask her out. 

Then another boy showed up in her life. I was greatly concerned and disheartened as their relationship was progressing in her typical pattern. I thought I had missed my chance. However, the boy made a fatal mistake as Eve is demisexual. She doesn’t like moving into physical contact beyond cuddling too quickly if at all and he started to push her to kiss him. She immediately stopped the relationship after he made overt moves that disregarded her clearly made boundaries and he was derogatory toward her. 

About one or two weeks later I was over at her house one evening and we were talking about him and dating and life. I finally took a deep breath and told her there was something I needed to tell her and I was afraid it would ruin our friendship. I confessed to her that I liked her and wanted to date her. I didn’t ask her out specifically though because she has told me in the past she has trouble saying no so I left out the question and simply told her how I felt to do with what she felt was right. 

She was shocked and immediately started smiling saying she liked me too. I was elated. We talked more about how we had been feeling and how we had both been worried about what the other would say and how she had been blind to my pining which apparently her last serious boyfriend had picked up on and was why he dumped her. (He later told her that he saw how we were together and began to see that me and her fit better than him and her and he wanted us to be together.) We started dating that night and I immediately called Hannah and Polly to tell them the news joking that since I couldn’t tell my parents that I wanted to tell them and they jokingly responded by giving Eve a talking to about not hurting me. 

The next couple months were ups and downs but me and Eve had each other to support and our relationship was very steady. One night when I was having a depressive episode because of my school situation (I was failing my virtual classes). I called my brother James to vent to him. While he was comforting me I told him that I had a girlfriend and he was immediately accepting, asking all about her and acting like it was normal until I brought it up specifically her being female. He assured me it didn’t matter and that he still wanted to meet her but wouldn’t tell my parents. 

That winter I had to go home again for break which would be a couple months. Eve gave me her spare PS4 and a headset so we could play games together long distance and we spent our last couple days together as much as we could. Prior to me leaving she surprised me with necklaces for us that were each half of the star wars rebels symbol. Her’s had the phrase “I love you” engraved on it and mine had the phrase “I Know”. 

That winter I missed her even after going back to work and finding that another character that is a part time drag queen got added to the staff. They also pretty much adopted me and my head cashier came out to me as gender-fluid. All of them were proud to hear I had a girlfriend and I was finally able to tell someone not my family all about her. I missed her a ton. So me and Eve came up with a plan. 

After some figuring with my parents she was able to come visit for a couple days between Christmas and New Years as my “good friend”. It was a great time. My three siblings that were there all knew she was my girlfriend, my little sisters having figured it out when the three of us were talking. One of my sister Georgie admitted that she was considering herself to maybe be asexual and my sister Greta (who at one point said being gay was gross) came out to me as also being bisexual. We all are able to support each other. 

Eve’s visit went really well and my parents adored her and she adored my parents. Though it was stressful especially right after she left and my grandmother who was visiting asked -- at the dining room table where me, my grandparents, my parents, and all my siblings were sat-- “did your girlfriend leave?” There was a split second where me and my siblings shared a telepathic moment of panic before remembering that in my grandmother’s vernacular she simply meant my friend that was a girl and I simply answered yes. 

As winter break moved along I began to discuss other options with my parents about my schooling. With my ADHD and my manner of learning, virtual classes were not working for me. I had failed most of my online classes meanwhile being near the top of my classes in my in person classes. It was an obvious disparity the only exception being my math class which was a hybrid class and I will admit was a failure mostly due to my lack of ability to understand math. 

I’d already been considering the idea since my depressive episode calling James who’d been the one to suggest it during the fall semester. But now the conversation was whether or not I would sit out the spring semester. After some discussion and the fact that I didn’t have a job in my college town but did at home and Hannah wouldn’t be coming back to school after graduating early. Meaning I wouldn’t have a roommate. (Polly and me had a fight and are not on speaking terms). The decision was finally made I would not be returning to college in the spring. 

It was a hard decision and I had to tell Eve. I took sometime to figure out what I would say since I knew it was going to be hard. Finally I worked out the words and told her that was going to be gone for longer than planned. I knew long distance would be hard and suggest we try to make plans to stay in closer contact with each other that way it wouldn’t be as bad. I’d told her when we first started dating that communication was the most important thing to me in a relationship. 

A week passed and we didn’t really discuss it as we were both busy with our individual jobs. Then I got a text from her saying she wanted to talk. The next text I received was her breaking up with me. She said she didn’t want to be the only one making the effort to see each other since she had a car and license and I didn’t. She further said she didn’t want me to feel like I wasn’t getting what I wanted out of the relationship since she was into physical intimacy. She’d decided we should break up and that was that. But she still wanted to be friends because she liked my family. 

I was very placated in my response. It was a complete shock. Both because it was over text and also it had seemingly come from nowhere. She’d never communicated such feelings to me. 

I reassured her that I never felt like I wasn’t getting what I wanted out of the relationship. I also told her we could still be friends but that it would take us time to figure out our balance with each other. 

I called texted James when it happened and he asked if I was okay. I responded with I don’t know and he immediately called me. We talked for a while and he comforted me about the situation. The next person I told was Alex. They comforted me as well and we figured out a day where we could hang out, watch movies and eat ice cream as the normal break up fix it. I was grateful for both their support. 

I was hurt by Eve’s actions. I took a risk bringing her to my home with my parents. If they had found anything out about us. I don’t know what would have happened and to call it quits without even trying to work through it or communicate how she was feeling. It felt like I wasn’t worth the effort of her feelings or time and investment. 

I’d made the first draft of this before the break up and the ending had read “I hope one day I will be be to get support from my parents as well but even if I can’t, I hope that I will st least be able to be my true self around them and introduce Eve as my girlfriend” 

That’s changed now. I don’t just hope that I can introduce someone as my girlfriend I hope that whoever I bring home will be accepted by my family for who they are and me for who I am. I’m not straight. I never have been. I might marry a man someday I might marry a woman but whoever I bring home. I will still be bisexual and I will never stop trying to be a voice for those who can’t speak up. Once I’m not under my parents roof. I hope I can live my true life and help those who have been muzzled and closeted for far to long as I have.

The universe is at peace. A peace won by the Voltron paladins and the great sacrifice of Princess Allura. However, peace cannot last forever. After nearly twenty years a new threat has emerged sending tremors through our reality. Coming out of nowhere and launching a viscous attack. The universe is sorely unprepared and the need for Voltron is great. With the lions scattered in unknown reaches and the former paladins all falling into a mysterious coma. The Coalition of Free planets fears this could be the end of the peace they knew.

However, the lions have a different plan. Each calling out to a different new hero. These young souls must discover their inner powers and try to fill the void left by their predecessors. Fighting to save their reality and world as they know it.

A delinquent artist, hotheaded Garrison cadet, flamboyant prince, tech headed hermit, and part-time pizza cook hold the fate of the entire universe in their hands.

~This is my new Vld story about the next generation of Paladins currently on Ao3~

May the 10 of Pentacles bless your account with more money than you can spend. 💵✨

To everyone with sensory issues:

You are not a baby for melting down because of under/overstimulation. You are not being immature or “just throwing a tantrum” when you have meltdowns. The discomfort and pain and fear you feel due to your sensory issues is real and valid, and shouldn’t be dismissed as silly or unimportant by people who don’t understand it.