Resources-and-reminders - Resources

it doesn’t have to be good it just has to be done

I've really gotten to the point in my life where I understand buying my favorite expensive jam at the grocery store is actually worth it every time because it makes me feel joyful to use it and I use every drop

And I don't need 20 different pairs of cheap-ish earrings when I could own one solid gold pair of hoops and never take them off for a lifetime

I used to have partners that rolled their eyes when I treated myself to a nice cappuccino every single day or when I bought pricey Japanese denim when I could have picked up Levi's at target but honestly treating yourself well is like a muscle and you can easily look touch with it if you stop doing it. Life is too short to skip your favorite breakfast bagel sandwich even if they charge a little extra for the salmon lox! There's a difference between spending money and time you DONT have vs knowing the value of your joy and knowing it's not worth skipping out on!!!

Truth is you will never go back to your old self, life is about redefining and relearning to live with all versions of yourself

hey you. indie creator. get rid of the corporate execs and the imaginary writers room in your brain. the cynical youtube reviewers and disney fans who want sanitized uwu gays probably are never even gonna be even slightly aware of your existence. write those unrelatable blorbos and those messy themes and that weirdly sexy violence. you have no one to answer to but yourself. give yourself what you want and maybe some day, some 3 random lesbians from the internet whose interests you have somehow exactly hit will look at your thing and think its pretty cool, and in the end thats all you ever needed

terrifying your own child into submission makes you an abuser.

watching your child cry and screaming at them to stop and invalidating their pain and reasons for crying makes you an abuser.

staring at your child in disgust and contempt after they displease you makes you an abuser.

threatening to your child to take away their basic resources if they don’t give you exactly what you want makes you an abuser.

forcing your child to feel ashamed for not living up to your ideals makes you an abuser.

using slurs, hateful names and insults on your own child without any regard to what it does to their mental health makes you an abuser.

forcing your child to chase impossible expectations and making them feel like they’re worthless for not achieving them makes you an abuser.

acting like your child is a burden and a waste of space and blaming their illness/disability/depression on it makes you an abuser.

behaving like your child will never amount to anything and isn’t worth any resources and nurturing makes you an abuser.

making your child feel like they’re never good enough makes you an abuser.

if your child’s heart is hurting because they know no matter what they do and how hard they try they will always be a failure in your eyes, you are an abuser.

if your child can’t look at themselves without self hatred because they had to look at themselves from your perspective and all they saw is disgust and hatred, you’re an abuser.

If your child is struggling to believe they have the right to live and to be cared and loved, if they can’t stop hearing your hateful voice putting them down and using their every action to prove they’re worthless, you’re an abuser.

If you watched your child in pain and assured them they deserved it, you’re an abuser.

If your child can’t love themselves from how badly you hated them, you’re an abuser.

this quote from hbomberguy’s plagiarism video really resonated with me:

“creative people have trouble recognising their skills as skills, because eventually they feel like second nature. […] this stuff really is valuable. if it wasn’t, people wouldn’t be stealing it. creativity doesn’t feel special or unique until you realise people have to plagiarise it”

your craft is and always will be valuable, please never let anyone make you doubt that

It doesn't come naturally to you doesn't mean you can't do it

We all learn

Saw that post about transmascs and how ppl need to talk more about vaginal atrophy and how it's easily treatable with estrogen cream without affecting your HRT and it got me thinking about how none of us transfems seem to talk about dick atrophy either and how it's also easily treatable with topical testosterone cream provided you're not taking a T blocker (so on a GnRH agonist, estradiol monotherapy, or have had bottom surgery). Without T you don't get that passive tissue maintenance so unless you want to get hard every other day for the rest of your life to keep it healthy you're kinda screwed and erections can become really painful, let alone the change in length/shape. So yeah ask about topical testosterone.

step one to overcoming social anxiety is to realize that most people kind of suck and their opinion of you is literally worthless

And the most important thing to remember is that you have time. Time to discover new people and new projects and new places; time to heal from your past and your wounds. You might feel like you’re getting nothing done and nothing is happening, but you have time to discover your soul. It will happen for you <3