Oh My God. I Need To Share Another Story Of My New Friend Making Today. So My Friends Husband Says, Very

learning how to get out of the victim mindset and approach situations from the student perspective is changing the entire trajectory of my life. i am learning how to stand up for myself i am learning how to make decisions i am learning how to express my feelings i am learning how to live

for the past few years i’ve had a personal rule that i do not sign anything i haven’t read - mostly because i genuinely think it’s a good idea, but also as a kind of social experiment - and i wanna share some observations

when i worked at an amusement park, i was one of like two or three people in a group of around twenty young adults who read the employment contract

i gave up on reading every TOS and privacy policy early on - now i only read them if it’s a website or company i’ll be giving personal information to (and even then i only skim them) - but i’ve never found anything super suspect in one

i also have an exception for when i’m made to feel like i’d be an asshole for stopping to read something. notable examples of this going into effect include the patient-intake paperwork at the ER when i went in a few months ago. (i really wish i’d just gone ahead and been the asshole in that situation, even though i have no reason to think there was anything bad in it)

i think the only time i was the only one to read something that the people who gave it to us actually wanted us to read was the waiver at a cat café, which included a lot of safety information about how to interact with the cats

one time i was approached by a guy with a petition who told me it was an anti-fracking petition (which was a real petition that was going around at the time), but the paper he handed me was a petition to instate a “citizenship requirement” for voting. i pointed this out to him and he tried to convince me that even though that’s what it said, it’s not really what my signature meant, and then named the university he graduated from as though it gave him some level of extra credibility??

i have more than once been given a HIPPA form at a doctor’s office where my signature certifies that i’ve been offered a copy of their privacy practices, when i had not, in fact, been offered a copy of their privacy practices. the last time this happened, the receptionist didn’t actually have a copy of their privacy practices, and had to get me to me sign it several days later once she got a copy from her manager

99% of people are very accommodating when you tell them “i want to read this before i sign it,” but it’s never what they’re expecting

on a related note, if someone thinks it’s important that you know what’s in something they’re giving you to sign, they won’t wait for you to read it - they’ll go through, point to each section, and tell you what it says. this is what happened when i signed my lease, and it’s actually a pretty common instance of using my asshole exception, because then i feel like i’m calling the person a liar if i stop to read it myself

the moral of the story is… like… we treat a signature like it’s the absolute most surefire way of saying “yes i understand this and agree to it,” but in practice there’s not even a pretense that a signature means you’ve READ whatever you’re signing. in fact, handing someone a piece of paper and saying “sign here” is one of the LEAST effective ways to make sure they understand and agree to something, and PEOPLE KNOW THIS, and we do it ANYWAY because what else are we gonna do? notarize it??

i don’t have a solution but like. that’s kinda fucked up, you know?

the coolest people are actually weird and fucked up and strange and peculiar and they just dont care. the coolest people are actually lame as hell and they rock it. this is what ive learned

Today is a wonderful day to remember that resting, taking care of yourself, and allowing yourself to become re-inspired and re-invigorated, is a vital and necessary part of the creative process!

@thoughtstherapy

Don’t fall for the exclusionist bullshit. They WILL eventually find a target that you feel threatened enough by to consider their arguments, whether it’s ace/aro people, pan people, mspec lesbians…etc. Consider whether that group is actually hurting you by existing and self defining or if you’ve just been made to feel that way.

The exclusionist rabbit hole goes deep and for some flat out leads to TERFville at the end.

Radical inclusion and solidarity is where it’s at and if you’re still too stunted to see that then get well soon I guess.

if your support of decolonization (anywhere) is predicated on your view of the colonized people as exceptionally peaceable, equitable, environmentally conscious/“in touch” with nature, or otherwise morally superior by your own personal standards, it’s not support. the only moral high ground colonized people need to justify decolonization is …. not being the colonizer

reminder that not all coping mechanisms are healthy and shouldn’t be excused as helpful simply because they are coping mechanisms.