Billy Batson and Damian Wayne being weirdly good friends (ft. the occasional Jon Kent)
Billy befriends Damian after the JL learns his real identity. Batman approached him and told him they should meet since they’re the same age.
At first, it’s awkward because Damian isn’t interested in making friends, and Billy’s mad that Batman is essentially sending him to the kids' table. Until…
Damian: “Why must my father insist that I socialize? I can handle myself!” Billy: “Thank you! I’ve been on my own since I was six. I don’t need an adult to tell me what to do.” Damian: “…I like you.” Billy: “Wanna spy on the Justice League?” Damian: “Yes.”
Batman immediately regrets his decision.
At first, the two don’t really talk outside of meetings or happenstance, but when they do, they’re like twins. They know exactly what the other is thinking at all times. (The adults are terrified.)
Both end up bonding over their upbringing, specifically the fact that they were abused/traumatized/malnourished for several years. That marks the point where they start talking regularly.
Damian nearly jumps out of his skin the first time Billy speaks to him in Arabic (courtesy of the Islamic Prophet, Solomon.) They now speak exclusively in Arabic when they gossip.
They will cut a bitch. Do not get on either’s bad side.
Every time one of them says something out of pocket, the other one high-fives them. Even Jon is concerned (and very jealous.)
Billy is required to attend the same school as the Teen Titans and YJ for a bit as a condition of staying in the JL so he and Damian end up taking a few classes together.
Billy “I have Zeus on speed dial” Batson and Damian “I got a PhD in The Classics at age six” Wayne proceed to roast their history professors in the back of the classroom for all of the misinformation.
Damian: “Okay so I really need a human skull, but you can’t ask why.” Billy: “As long as you also don’t ask why.” *pulls out several pristine human skulls from pocket dimension* “Take your pick.” Damian: “…this one.” Jon: “what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck”
They’re both eerily good at schooling their emotions due to countless years of emotional abuse and neglect. If anything goes wrong during a mission, it’s like a switch is flipped. They are suddenly completely level-headed.
Damian gifts Billy a PC that he built himself so they can play games together without so much lag. (It’s literally just Minecraft on creative mode. They design a working amusement park together.)
Both have been permanently banned from all zoos on the eastern seaboard. Damian tried to “liberate” the ostriches, and Billy taught the gorillas swear words in sign language.
Everyone Else: “We need to find civilization on this desert planet we crashed landed on or we’ll starve.” Billy and Damian: “The human body can go ten days without food.” Everyone: “…Are you okay?” Billy and Damian: “Not important.”
Billy, Jon, Colin, and Damian have a group chat where they regularly place bets on dumb mishaps the adults get themselves into. The one rule is they can’t bet with cash. Thus they create a trading system made entirely of local snacks, Pokémon cards, supernatural knick-knacks, and dares.
Krrt: Why do you rub your eyes?
Steve: Idk. To refocus them I suppose
Krrt: Re— what now?
- - - - - - - - - - -
Rachel: Howdy me comrades I just want to say daddy moi adore ya fucks
Krrt: -softly- what the fuck
Steve: -whispers back- i dont know about this one either
Irwn: Ignore her please. Apparently she drank concentrated caffeine from the lab
- - - - - - - - - -
Rachel: -dying screech of stress-
Steve: mood
Irwn: You can understand her?
Can you please reblog if your blog is a safe place for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, asexual, aromantic, pansexual, non binary, demisexual or any other kind of queer or questioning people? Because mine is.
Young Justice: *does something stupid/dangerous*
Billy, as Captain Marvel: *frantically searches for an adult in the situation*
Billy:
Billy: oh shit, i'm the adult in the situation
Martian Manhunter: Shazam, not to alarm you, but you have not breathed in 10 minutes.
Shazam; Whoops! I forget sometimes.
Martian Manhunter: It’s alright, I often forget to blink.
Batman:
Shazam, a supposedly magic immortal being of unknown origin: kinda pops off ngl
Batman, a father of 6: (narrows eyes in suspicion) yes…indeed it does..
I for some reason just found out that Franklin ‘foggy’ nelson in daredevil is called foggy and not froggy?? like for actual years I though it was froggy cause apparently I can't read and my brain thinks that Franklin is a frog name so obviously he would be nicknamed froggy????
hypothetically if I read crack fanfic during a church service will I get smitted by God. completely hypothetical
I just spent like two hours explaining adhd with my brother to my grandparents (on to side of my family that doesn’t have it everywhere) and holy shitttt am I exhausted. Like I have adhd, both my brothers have adhd and so do a few of my cousins some aunts and uncles probably my gramma and maybe as well my great uncle and probably more as that is all on only one side of my family where it’s just highly concentrated at this point. But anyways that is not the point, the point is that trying to have a conversation with two neurotypicals as two neurodivergents about adhd is so fricking frustrating. So like at times my nana would interrupt my brother or get off topic about something and my brother and I would just look at each other like ‘seriously SERIOUSLY!?!???’ because we can’t just go back to the original conversation after getting side tracked that is literally not possible for us. Or at times she would get really focus on interest and being motivated by that and we were struggling to explain how interest is a factor but now I huge part in like studying for exams for example. (please note my mum, who is the not adhd sibling of her generation, is also trying to help explain this) Or also she, still my nana, got really caught up on how it must be that we can't focus because we can't see how it will immediately affect our futures when studying, which noooo we can see we just can't do anything to make ourselves study or be interested. and my grandpa was better about not interupting he did get kinda confused about if my brother (who doesn’t have an official diagnosis, the other brother and I do) was self diagnosing and how can we be sure if he does have adhd. And at this point when both of his sibling do, at least one cousin, two aunts and uncles and probably more family has it and adhd being known to be hereditary, you kinda get to know the symptoms well and can look at someone and go ‘oh yeah you’ve got this and this and this and oh that too and this over here and oh yeah your life had kinda fallen apart a bit after high school yeah maybe you do have adhd’ so nope we maybe be ‘self diagnosing’ but when we’re also working for a diagnosis and know it that well its really not in the same category.
(and yes I know that they don’t know about this and are just trying to understand and look out for us but despite having grace to them in conversation that doesn’t make it any less frustrating. and im also only mentioning the more annoying/frustrating things here)
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you're welcome