How Some Of The LU Boys Vent Headcanons But In Fic Form

This reminds me of that one set of cover designs for the hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy. If I remember correctly all four of those fit together to make a different image depending on how you arranged them.

So I live in Scotland and one time in my mandatory drama class a few years ago we had were doing accents and had been split up into groups. Now I had I question so I stuck my hand up and when the teacher came over, she listened to me talk and then immediately said wow that's a great American accent and I just had to pause and look at her like silently for a sec cause wut the fuck before explaining that im from Canada and that's just how I talk and I have never seen a teacher look more mortified before

[footage of Victor Frankenstein sewing together female body parts to make a mate for the Creature while Lou Bega’s Mambo no.5 plays]

I have made what I think is the shitty-est dad joke in existence and I love it

So I'm in hell (the nether in Minecraft) with my friends, yah know the usual. So this one friend and I come across a Bastion which results in lots of screaming on my part and death for the both of us but as we’re exploring trying to find our way around I found a random loot chest with a banner in it which my friend gets  hyped about and asks if he can have it. So as he comes and finds me so I can hand it off I make the passing comment of ‘it’s like Bruce’ ... like the banner, like Bruce Banner. This is what I mean by shitty as in actually shitty not just its so shitty it’s funny shitty. Anyway my friend gets what I mean and finds it kinda funny in a pain way cause he’s a nerddd so at least there’s that.

A Butler's Duty

When Alfred does his desire to ensure those under his care are well? That desire, that need? Is more than enough, that plus the ectoplasm in Gotham. He forms into a ghost in the Infinite Realms. This happens a few years before Danny opens a portal. More than long enough for Alfred to have grown into his strange new existence.

So when he heard of a stable portal to the living realm? Well he was curious. Did it lead to his dimension? And then well, he went to have a look. And found a young teen. Who looked so like Bruce. Who felt such a need to look after that which was his. And he couldn't help but need to look after the boy. In only a few short weeks the boy was already so tired.

This just would not stand! Absolutely not! so he left the portal and checked on his new charges house. And it was barely fit for anyone! So, he did what he always had. He took charge of ensuring the place was clean and orderly. Ensured their was good, safe food available. And ensured his new charges would be as well as they could. And if that included beating the idea that ghosts were sentient into Master Danny's idiot parents head? Well. That would only help him tell them sooner!

Young Master Danny was a stubborn young man. But that was hardly a surprise! He gave in, in the end. Alfred's cookies always won in the end. The prospect of safe food and a safe house? Worked wonders. Now, if Alfred could just figure out if this was his home dimension or not... Alfred could only give so much support after all. Only give so much advice. An experienced hero would be a better mentor. At least Master Danny was allowing him to help tend his wounds now.

bad trick

Really obsessed with this idea of some villain taking over the JL because they figured out a way to mind control every single adult and CM is in the lineup, standing at attention when the villain just goes down the line and asks how best to incapacitate them and he makes it to CM and says “Now, what’ll it take to overpower the Big Red Cheese?” and Cap’s like “With all due respect, Mr. Mind Control, sir, you don’t want that.” And the guy’s super offended like “You can’t tell me what to do! How do I incapacitate you?” “You can’t.” “Then why are you acting all snarky?” “Only I can incapacitate myself, Mr. Scary Evil Guy.” “Then do it. Right now.”

And this is pre-reveal so guess what happens? CM shouts the word, and before the guards can even tell what’s going on, Billy’s zipping between their legs, grabs maybe a weapon of some kind while he’s at it, and BOLTS like the funky little street rat is being chased by a cashier with a broom out of the supermarket, and you know YJ is outside waiting so when they suddenly see this scrappy 14yo Billy Batson running from out of the villain’s lair where JL is being held captive, they’re like “wtf??” and Billy has to convince them that he’s actually the massive Champion of Gods dude but he can only do some magic when he’s in his kid form but he knows the whole layout of the place “and we have to hurry! He’s gonna ask what their secret identities are! God you’re all so slow”, and that’s how JL and YJ learn they accidentally inducted a homeless 9yo five years ago who only agreed cuz they have a kitchen in the watchtower.

And their arms can still move around after they’ve been cut off! :D

List of Sea Creatures Which Have Tried But Failed To Convince Me To Go Into The Ocean

1. Sea Dragons

Remarkable, unlikely, ethereal. A fairytale creature, but ultimately not trustworthy. a combination of kelpie and the fae, it will ask me a riddle and steal my soul. at least one of these is photoshopped. nice try sea dragon

2. Bubble Snails

these are portals to another realm. i may be unsatisfied with my dimension, but i am not fool enough to follow a colorful stranger to a secondary location. you’ll have to try harder, briny marine abductors 

3. Shells. Just shiny carved shells i found on instagram

makes a compelling argument but i remain unconvinced. never trust anything you find on instagram 

4. Salp Chains

not gonna lie, this one almost made me reconsider. idk what a planktic tunicate is, but i respect their lifestyle choices. if i ever do join a hivemind, this is top of the list

5. Frosted Nudibranch

a combination bt a sailor moon trinket & a pokemon evolution stone; has the power to force me into a magical girl transformation. unfortunately i am responsibility-avoidant and refuse to wear anything less comfortable than sweatpants. also magical transformations give me motion sickness. hard pass, but would use as a nightlight 

6. Lettuce Sea Slug. For similar reasons

6. Royal Starfish

honestly thought this was a claymation sculpture. starfish were actually a compelling reason to go in the ocean until i remembered they can move, and i want nothing to do with that nonsense 

7. Costasiella

this is genuinely the only one i have a hard time saying no to. this is the perfect being. if i was an animated protagonist, this would be my chosen cartoon sidekick, my vaguely animalish sidecharacter who speaks in a silent but expressive language only i can translate. incandescent perfection. pure and unsullied, truly sinless. look at those goddamn eyes. 

In conclusion, 

sea slugs are the only compelling group of creatures who could possibly tempt me into the soulless void of the salty depths. however, as i possess a great deal of caution & terror, i will continue to stick with aquariums. i have been tempted, but have overcome. the ocean may invade my nightmares but it will not claim my soul. i bite my thumb at thee, Poseidon! go stub your toe on coral

On one hand, fuck yeah aliens, on the other hand, yeah fuck aliens.

The last thing you remember, you were eaten in a single bite by an enormous alien creature. Now, as you hatch from an egg as one of its children with all your previous memories intact, you can’t help but contemplate the pros and cons of this discovery.

Ghost Speak

Danny & Billy both talking in ghost speak about how Vlad is an asshole while having pure direct eye contact towards some of the justice leagues

Hal: *looking at Clark* uh… h-hey supes do you have any idea what they saying???

Clark: *looks just as confused and a bit terrified* I … uh have no idea

Diana: hmm I’m sure it’s fine