Bad Trick

I am far too sleep deprived for this shit  it’s 2 in the morning and my brain randomly said to me “Zoolander just got a husbandry update” do I know what this means no, do I particularly care right now also no, is this phrase now gonna haunt me for the rest of my life wondering what the fuck it means absolutely of fucking course it is

So, there’s this idea that Captain Marvel is the idealized form of Billy Batson, right? Like, the version of himself he aspires to be. The hero he wants to become. The face he wants the world to see-- strong, bright, safe, inspiring.

And, well… Captain Marvel looks a lot like C.C. Batson. His father. That’s Billy’s hero. That’s the face that makes him believe in good. The smile that gives him hope and faith in his dreams. With a few traces of his mom, like her eyelashes, her ears, nose

But… that can change. Right?

Billy’s going to meet new people. He’s going to have new heroes in his life. New people to look up to. New versions of “who I want to be like.”

So one day, Marvel looks like a perfect blend of C.C. and Marilyn. And then, after a particularly emotional moment with John Constantine, he shows up at the Watchtower… with a different jawline.

His bone structure is slightly off. You wouldn’t notice unless you were really paying attention. But Bruce was. Bruce always is. He doesn’t say anything, just quietly writes it down with some suspicion of a possible shapeshifter.

And then, boom-- WHERE THE HELL ARE MARVEL’S DIMPLES?! They’re gone. Just gone. When he smiles, it’s a completely different smile. No dimples. There’s… are those canines? Slightly unhuman teeth and-- wait, Is that SUPERMAN’S smile? A perfect, radiant replica??

The next day, the dimples are back. Because Marvel caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and he missed them. Not consciously. He didn’t even realize it. But they’re back anyway.

It all happens unconsciously. And it changes from time to time.

One day he’s got feline eyes and sharp little teeth, a goofy yet oddly charming (and a little predatory) grin. That’s Tawky Tawny’s influence.

Another day, his eyes aren’t blue anymore, they’re green. Sharp. Focused. But also warm. You feel seen, and still, oddly… safe. (Catwoman likes Cap. She’s been nice to him ever since he introduced her to Tawny.)

Then-- No freaking way he’s BLONDE. (Thanks, Constantine.)

One day, his eyes are still blue, but now they’re icy. Almost crystal. Batman nearly has a heart attack because it’s his father’s eyes. His father’s eyebrows too. (Billy was just really happy with Bruce Waynbe since he donated a massive bunch of money to Fawcett’s homeless shelters.)

And then.. pointy ears. A different nose. (Kon.)

J’onn shares his special cookies with him one afternoon and now Marvel’s got a little green tint in his cheeks instead of red.

He never hides it. If someone asks, he just shrugs and goes, “Oh yeah, my features kinda shift based on people I admire? I guess. I don’t really notice until you guys point it out. I can’t control it.”

A lot of people think his tall, muscular body comes from Superman. But nope. It’s from Diana.

Billy sees her: tall, powerful, graceful, hair always a little wild but somehow perfect. Elegant. Commanding. He thinks she’s incredible. So he becomes tall, powerful, elegant. Hair that never moves out of place (but still has a charmingly messy style). All that’s missing is a little more confidence and posture.

And Flash? Flash nearly dies of happiness when Marvel shows up one day— with his awkward little half-smile.

drunk and in love and full of food i think only the torturer eel could harm me

I have spent the past 2-something-maybe-hours reading wikipedia pages about the x-men while whistling to myself and somehow I only just now noticed that the tune I have been repeating endlessly for 2 freaking hours is circus music.  ....I have been whistling circus music to myself while reading wikipedia pages for 2 hours.......... WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK BRAIN

right so turns out my eyes aren’t even fucking hazel but actually just blue/green (I can't tell which) with brown central heterochromia. so apparently I've just spent my entire life going about not even knowing what colour my eyes are.

I just remembered this one time then I was in like primary 3 (so like around 7) and we were doing surveys or something like that. so our teacher took us to the cloak room and gathered us all in the centre and then would pick like a feature or something, like hair or eye colour, that we would group ourselves under.  So he assigned eye colour to three corners and basically said go to the corresponding eye colour for you and I just sat down cause he had only said brown, green or blue eyes and seven year old me is like nah bicth I know what colour my eyes are and they aint that so I just continued to sit there even as my teacher is looking at me like what is this stubborn child doing. but he asked me to go to a corner and I said that no my eyes are hazel and you didn’t say hazel so I didn’t know where to go. and the poor teacher is obviously kinda annoyed at this point but he repeated himself (because I asked earlier about hazel) that no hazel eyes aren’t a thing and im still sitting there being stubborn. So he sighs and asks me to stand up and look at him so he could check and so I did.  Annnnywaaay I got to stand in a corner by my self as he counted how many people were in each corner because my eyes are literally like half brown, half green. 

how some of the LU boys vent headcanons but in fic form

okay so a while ago i was really angry about something and cracked open botw to fight some guardians with only melee weapons and i kept getting viciously blasted to the ground and set on fire every time i tried to do anything and i was like MOOD but then i realized something. link always gets back up. immediately. you don’t even have to hit a button. he gets knocked down, and then he gets back up again. over and over for the at least a half an hour i was playing. and then that gave me feelings so i started writing.

this goes completely off the rails very quickly and is ridiculously self-indulgent but it was fun to reread so *gestures vaguely* now you get to see it. fair warning that even though it’s presented in a very video-game-mechanics way, wild is talking about serious self-endangerment so be warned if you’re not up for that. anyway, enjoy!

(2.4k words)

“You know what I do?”

“What?”

Hyrule turned around from where he sat keeping watch by the fire, startled by Wild’s sudden question. Or at least he’d been trying to keep watch, stabbing a stray piece of kindling into the sand at his side over and over again and trying not to think too hard about—well, he was trying not to think about it. Wild stared up at the clear desert sky, deep with unfamiliar stars, laying on his back in his bedroll with one hand stretched above his head, fingers splayed. Hyrule hadn’t even realized he was awake.

“When I’m angry. You what what I do when I’m just so frustrated and furious and filled with rage and I’m caught halfway between breaking something’s bones and breaking down and all I want to do is scream but I don’t even think I have the strength to speak?”

Keep reading

What I imagine bowser’s musical moment to be like 

DP x DC idea/prompt Okay Wayne Industries has hired a new employee that's Phenomenal at their job. They have every program and software up to date- everything working smoothly without any interruptions or delay. Only strange thing is no one has ever seen them. They work strictly remotely due to disability. However, they are not on record to exist except for the last few years. Sam, Tucker, and Danny are runaways, running from GIW. They had to leave everything behind to keep themselves, the ghost zone, and their love ones safe. They're too young and have no way of actually being hired without finding out. Thankfully one of them is great at hacking, and he's been dreaming of working there for a while and now he has the perfect opportunity to show his skills AND work for company. However despite all his skills- They don't go unnoticed. A certain Tim Drake and the rest of the Batfamily had already figured out this "new hire" wasn't who he said he was. In fact, they may have found out it was a group of runaway teens before the second week. Now the only question they have, is why? Also Tim thinks its fun to test Tucker's skills and purposely throws viruses his way. Sam and Danny are probably focusing on doing the main shopping/looking out for giw and doing odd things for extra money while Tucker is living his dream.. remotely.. and anonymously.. but hey its the dream and the pay keeps them well afloat. Luckily they found a place that won't ask questions as long as they get the money.

Basically the Bats are keeping this group of teens employed while figuring out why they're on their own. Also while helping anonymously make their mystery employee (s) get better at their documentation by asking for information here and there without penalty. Its become a game, especially to Tim. XD

Jason and Tim: *literally the most traumatic experience known to man, one that changes how anyone would look at them (e.g. Jason digging himself out of his own grave or Tim blowing up the leagues bases)*

Dick *absolutely mortified*: and you didn't tell me earlier because...?

Jason/Tim: idk, it never came up.

Dick: that's something you bring up!

I think you mean Goose and Fury interactions

“Hello, kitten-“ “Ummmm… human sir? That is an eldritch being. Not pet. Do not touch.” “Look, it’s fine. If it looks like a cat, it is a cat.” eldritch purring sounds