FFFF I Guess I Could... Delete The Door?? I Haven't Looked At The Comic In Months And The Only Page I

I've been using Sai for years and only just now tried the vector linework tools I AM SO MAD I didn't bother sooner they are perfect and wonderful. I can be as anal as I want and scootch the lines around, adjust the lineweight at every control point, and NO handcramps omg. INKING.

Linework tutorial here.

Drawing real people is haaaaaaaard. weh

Going overboard with layer fx in photoshop again. BEVELS

Fluorishes from the vector lab

This is fanart for my favorite band or something

I have been thinking about this SO MUCH wrt my own high sensitivity. This sort of three-factor approach to emotional personality stuff is really useful for sorting thru your own life and thoughts for personal growth and self awareness, etc. My personal low baseline, high sensitivity and slow recovery time are all "problems" that have to be addressed seperately. Once I acknowledged that my own baseline is pretty skewed toward the negative thru NO fault of my own it helped me resist attempts to shame me for not being a naturally "happy" person. Some people are rays of sunshine and some people are misty fogs and that is OK. Its been much harder for me to accept the sensitivity because I grew up under the delusion that this was something I could change about myself. I feel this is related to the attitude that sensitive people shouldn't be "coddled" and bullying/abuse can be justified if it toughens them up. So it really did take an entire lifetime of effort and FAILURE to realize that was patently untrue. No amount of willpower will make this skin thicker, and thats OK too. The time it takes to return to baseline/regain equilibrium/find balance is the most important thing to address in my experience. If you don't have a whole lot of control over your basic brain chemistry (medications can only do so much after all) or your sensitivity (degree of sensitivity to stimulus is *biological*), what CAN you control? Your thoughts, decisions, and your actions. These affect the intensity and duration of emotional reactions. This is what true cognitive behavioral therapy is all about. Acknowledge what makes you feel things and why. Understand WHAT you're feeling. KNOW that emotions serve a PURPOSE. I see lots of posts circulating with long lists of actions you can take to deal with negative feelings in a healthy way and that makes me happy that people are sharing this, because I had to learn most of those things on my own and the more time saved from having to figure out what to do is more time you can use to figure out what actually works for YOU. Coping skills, emotional management skills are all just that, skills you can learn. It boils down to the usual idea of change what you can control and accept what you can't change... the hard part is figuring out which is which. tl;dr, feelings.

Why are you not working in an art related capacity?!?!?!

I think I got this note a million years ago, but I'm gonna answer it NOW~

multiple reasons-

a- I may be slightly awesome at art but I am a hot mess in every other possible way

b- ways that affect my ability to properly network and manipulate the necessary channels to get real, regular work as an artist

c- this isn't true much but has been occassionally in the past and is currently true: I have a job where I make more money than I would drawing. And I like money. A lot. Money is awesome.

I think my artblock is over :p

btw its character building thursday :3

It's interesting to learn that you are hypersensitive. I, for one, have been enjoying your art for a very long time. What I don't understand is that there are people out there that would die for your talent, yet you are nervous about sharing your art. To me, artists who are that good shouldn't be shy about their work... So stop being shy about it! :)

... I had to sit with this for a while.

This... I get that it comes from a place of good intentions, and that's nice, the sentiment is nice. But I'm not here for it, because like you said, you don't understand. I'm well aware that my opinions are strange but they're opinions about MYSELF and you're essentially telling me how to feel about myself and that's really unfair. And unrealistic? Emotions don't work that way. (You have a feeling? ITS WRONG. FEEL DIFFERENTLY) I will defend anyone's right to their feelings and it took my entire life to learn how to defend my own. I feel these misunderstandings boil down to a few things.

1. A view that my difficulties in sharing stem from an insecurity, or that I take my skills for granted in some way.

Not the case. I was hesitating as usual to say anything because I didn't want to make any artists who have yet to reach a similar skill level feel bad, but I don't want anyone laying that at my feet ok? (die for my talent?? How do I NOT construe that as a guilt trip D:) NO artist gets where they're at by taking their talent for granted. But lets not pretend I got where I am skillwise without pouring a ton of my blood/sweat/tears/years/life/soul/time/energy/everything into developing said skills. Art is a SKILL. I don't really want to have the skill vs. talent argument but if you're wondering what side of the fence I am on, its that side.

2. YOU DON'T KNOW MY LIFE

Aaaaaaaahhaaaa. Augh. Really tho. Like I said I wasn't always this way but I've had a lot of experiences (unrelated to art) that have made me a very closed off, private person. I've been called selfish, but I don't see how making things for myself in order to cope and then... keeping those things... is selfishness and not self-care. Do you ask a starving person to share what little food they have with someone who is just sort of hungry and will be fine without it? I hate using that comparison but if you follow artists on tumblr I'm sure you get plenty of nice stuff to look at on your dash, you'll be fine without my stuff on there all the time. I DO try, otherwise I wouldn't have artblog at all.

Serious Question: What if the hypersensitivity is the REASON for said ability? Two sides of the same coin. I've read some things that link sensitivity and creativity and if that is the case for me then would it still make sense to push me to be somehow different? I DO know artists who are VERY talented/skilled and don't have these struggles, and I also know artists who have struggled with serious huge ego problems too. I'm not trying to say it's gotta be one or the other, but maybe at extremes, its gosh I dunno, harder to be balanced about these things. I do occasionally dabble in arrogant snobbery but I can keep it to myself.

I feel some type of way about this. :/

Painterly 3D, my truest of true loves ♥

I tripled the density of hair on this lacefront so it took a looooong time. BUT Im super happy with how fluffy it is without any product 8D 1. ventilated widows peak & sideburns added 2. trimmed bangs 3. micro crimped 4. rollers 5. heat set into a SWOOSH 6. combed out no teasing or hairspray! floof!

first attempt at custom highlighter palette, went overboard with the red...

Been stumbling through months and months of frustrating art constipation where my drawing attention span is just not even there, and my ability to simply draw anyway has been faltering? Normally I don't sweat this and if drawing is too hard I just take a break from it but that hasn't been an option this year (I am SO poor you guys)

Doodling a fun thing yesterday I thought would get me more motivated and excited about drawing but even then I just constantly felt like stopping! Today I am workin on another commission and its a bit of the same story. BLARRHHHHhh

Anywaaaaay. This is Megla she is a unicorn faun and I want to make a costume for my best friend, pretty much every time I design a random character Im like DUDE THIS NEEDS TO BE A COSTUME I'm totally gonna do it ok it's gonna have glowing sparkly hair and tail (leds and fiber optic threads) and digigrade legs (I found some tutorials!) and its gonna be so awesome XD I notice when I have artblock its not so much creative block so much as I wanna do something else I wanna make stuff :E But crafts have waaay more overhead when I make money I have to buy food instead of art supplies

Do you still draw elves? I miss Errikan...

I miss him too, friend :( tbh I'm really struggling lately, creatively and otherwise, I don't have passion for anything anymore, just trying to exist until things get better