It's Interesting To Learn That You Are Hypersensitive. I, For One, Have Been Enjoying Your Art For A

Thank you for being honest about how your college life killed your art. I've completely stopped working on my art. I only doodle at work now. Your art has always inspired me and it's good to know that I'm not alone in feeling stressed anytime I want to sit down and finish something more than a doodle. Someday I will draw again, or maybe I won't but at least I won't feel the same level of shame & betrayal to my supporters anymore. I gotta heal up and find my motivation again, my reason for art.

-octopusowl

I had an old post talking a bit about how much I hated art school… heh. I KNOW YOUR PAIN THOUGH. I UNDERSTAND. I have SO much unfinished art that I think could be really great but I just... can't. I've always avoided persuing art jobs cos it's hard enough for me to draw the stuff I *like*. I see how much even my most talented and well-connected artist friends struggle and they actually love what they do and I'm just like nope. Not gonna.

I'll be real with you, this is gonna freak some people out but I don't love drawing. I hate drawing comics because it is too much damn drawing, and discovered very early that I could never be an animator despite how much I love it because the thought of drawing that much fills me with existential horror. I love CREATING. Drawing is just the best way to get my ideas out. I was driven to draw well so I could convey my ideas clearly. I actually enjoy making stuff so much more, but crafts and fabricating is EXEPENSIVE and drawing is practically free. Making things requires tools and workspace, drawing at the minimum requires a pen and paper and you can do it anywhere. So basically 99% of what I draw is stuff I want to make but can rarely afford to :C My dream is to someday have a props/costumes shop where I just make so much cool shit (for example dyeing and styling wigs with weird colors and crazy anime styles is SO much fun omg- PLUS I'm currently obsessed with the idea of making glowing fiber optic wigs but once I calculated how much it would cost... uh. Augh. Still totally gonna make it happen eventually though). That's why I care about practical costume design, when I'm drawing clothes I've pretty much already drafted the patterns in my head and have chosen the fabrics, etc. I make decent money right now so that's actually what I'm working toward and yes holy cow it costs SO much. And next on my to-get list is a high quality sewing machine I can feel my bank account crying already :C

UM SO my theory is sometimes its possible that the thing you struggle to do is actually tangential to the thing you REALLY love and that's why it can be difficult and unsatisfying, despite seeming like its something you "should" love. I hope you can find that thing. I only just realized this about myself recently. And even if that's not true for you, at some point you may end up in a better headspace and find joy in it again, because if you did once, why not again? I can understand the guilt but just remember that art is a gift, given freely *when you can afford to*, and you don't owe anyone gifts.

tv imitates life imitates art imitates life imitates tv imitates well ok we might argue about it being art but I for one am OMFG LOVE THIS LOL

Plus I thought of Cybruce Willis from Power Nap XD

learning how to make things pretty with laser engraving :D (pewpew)

Aaaaand of course the designs I finally settled on. It seems to have stuck cos I haven't been interested in changing them much for a few years now (actually I just checked, about eight years holy shit that's not a few at all!). Like I feel it reached some kind of creative maturity because they incorporate everything I learned about actual functional outfits over the years, but of course I still make them as fancy and stylish as possible. Because they are elves.

BLU Industries ;)

I've been using Sai for years and only just now tried the vector linework tools I AM SO MAD I didn't bother sooner they are perfect and wonderful. I can be as anal as I want and scootch the lines around, adjust the lineweight at every control point, and NO handcramps omg. INKING.

Linework tutorial here.

Drawing real people is haaaaaaaard. weh

Going overboard with layer fx in photoshop again. BEVELS

Fluorishes from the vector lab

This is fanart for my favorite band or something

Sharing art from 2009 without sharing anything from 2019? Because I don't really draw like I used to. I'm sad about it sometimes, but I don't see it as having quit art. I still sketch regularly, but for years now my interests have been absolutely all the way into Making Stuff. Lots of learning and experimenting with Skills and less easily consumable content to share online...

Since I made my illustration I still like to call my Masterpiece (lol), my life changed a LOT. I changed a lot with it. The mockup of companion poster I started not long after is STILL asking me to complete it, it belongs right next to the poster of my Elf Son. I made a file of unfinished illustrations that I still Care about, this is the major one. I miss how much mental real-estate my elves took up, it was fun! But had to make room for Other things.

Stuff I've learned since drawing less: C/C++ (I'm garbage at it but I keep trying lol), Crochet & Knitting, writing small programs for Arduino, Blueprint Reading/Creating, metal machining on lathe and CNC milling machine, Circuitboard Design, Sculpting/moldmaking, Drafting slopers and clothing patterns from scratch for sewing... Next will be welding xD I want to MAKE! AND! BUILD!

How to achieve your dreams when you have 6 or 7 of them? I've abandoned two already (professional puppeteer, stage magician) but I still have only so much time on this earth! ;p

I also keep quiet these days cos I dont seem to have relatable problems. Creative block? I don't know herrrr.

When I die there will be 38,472,000 unrealized project ideas that simply cease to exist ಠ_ಠ

I'm keeping the Illustration skills in my back pocket, but it was honestlyyyyy never what I REALLY wanted to do forever, I want to do SO MANY things. I'll be 35 soon (hhhhhhhgh) and if I view my life as ONLY an illustrator then I peaked REAL early and have been Struggling since lmao! My destiny is tangential to colorful drawings. But lets be real its tough to be literally ANY kind of artist. Im just a lot busier Adulting and trying to survive/thrive in a worker-unfriendly economy with insufficient mental health care xD

ALL THAT SAID, I really do want to finish that poster, eventually xD and the elves need their story out in the world in some form. Still gotta decide what that is.

Oh wow, I had no idea you had a tumblr! Your art has been some of my favorite for years and years. :'D /creeper

The tumblr is new! Also, WELCOME CREEPERS, come one, come all!

I really like the look of that Naroth fellow! Why don't you tell us something about him?

Naroth was born into a very superstitious tribe that took his red eyes and hair as a bad omen and tossed him and his mom out because she refused to sacrifice him. They were taken in by a surly desert dragon who raised Naroth as his own after his mom died of heartbreak due to exile or something equally pitiful. He's a very talented warmage and specializes in casting spells in song/chant form but due to having a strict slightly brainwashy master/apprentice upbringing by a dragon he is really socially and emotionally stunted. His sidekick role to Errikan is a typical cold silent loner, but really brutal in battle.

heysawbones: Do any of you have a Kindle, or a Nook, or some other reader? If so, how do you feel about it? How do these devices hold up in terms of audiobook selection? Is there a proprietary rating system for books/podcasts? My kindle is my best friend, it even saved my life not even kidding. I have the wifi only one but its not difficult to find a wifi starbucks or mcdonalds, and sometimes I even tether it to my phone if I need to get a book RIGHT NOW. It seems worth it to shell out the extra money for the 3G though- IF you travel lots. And ereaders are practically made for travelling. I read and spend SO much money on books these days, but the built-in kindle store has a lot of self published authors and I’m happy to support them, and they have a store sale section with books $4 or less, and of course public domain books are free (some times it worth spending $1 or $2 to get better formatting). I know the main selling point for nook is the drm-free EPUB format support, but I have free software that can convert that to kindle MOBI format so I havent missed out imo (Ill also use that to add things written by myself or friends, etc). Otherwise? both let you get library books if your library supports it, and sometimes lend books to friends with same brand of reader tho I have found it rare that publishers allow it. GET ONE you wont regret it!

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