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Hyperfeels - Blog Posts

11 years ago

I have been thinking about this SO MUCH wrt my own high sensitivity. This sort of three-factor approach to emotional personality stuff is really useful for sorting thru your own life and thoughts for personal growth and self awareness, etc. My personal low baseline, high sensitivity and slow recovery time are all "problems" that have to be addressed seperately. Once I acknowledged that my own baseline is pretty skewed toward the negative thru NO fault of my own it helped me resist attempts to shame me for not being a naturally "happy" person. Some people are rays of sunshine and some people are misty fogs and that is OK. Its been much harder for me to accept the sensitivity because I grew up under the delusion that this was something I could change about myself. I feel this is related to the attitude that sensitive people shouldn't be "coddled" and bullying/abuse can be justified if it toughens them up. So it really did take an entire lifetime of effort and FAILURE to realize that was patently untrue. No amount of willpower will make this skin thicker, and thats OK too. The time it takes to return to baseline/regain equilibrium/find balance is the most important thing to address in my experience. If you don't have a whole lot of control over your basic brain chemistry (medications can only do so much after all) or your sensitivity (degree of sensitivity to stimulus is *biological*), what CAN you control? Your thoughts, decisions, and your actions. These affect the intensity and duration of emotional reactions. This is what true cognitive behavioral therapy is all about. Acknowledge what makes you feel things and why. Understand WHAT you're feeling. KNOW that emotions serve a PURPOSE. I see lots of posts circulating with long lists of actions you can take to deal with negative feelings in a healthy way and that makes me happy that people are sharing this, because I had to learn most of those things on my own and the more time saved from having to figure out what to do is more time you can use to figure out what actually works for YOU. Coping skills, emotional management skills are all just that, skills you can learn. It boils down to the usual idea of change what you can control and accept what you can't change... the hard part is figuring out which is which. tl;dr, feelings.


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