Not Sorry But The Fairy Lights Stay ON During Sex

I’m like Beetlejuice, if you say good girl 3 times I’ll come too

“you dtf?” yeah i’m dumber than fuck

Reminder...

You are allowed to be proud of yourself for doing small things. Like getting out of bed that morning, or eating three meals a day. Your achievements are amazing and you should be proud of yourself no matter how big/small they are.

If you're 5.5" or under you are legally a pocket pussy.

If you’re not trying to sneak in a quickie with me on the washing machine while our kid’s dinosaur chicken nuggets cook in the air fryer, I don’t want it.

“men dont like that. its such a turn off” good . turn off . where is ur off button . shut up . please stop making noise

i’m too pretty to be asking a mother fucker to act right