If You’re Not Trying To Sneak In A Quickie With Me On The Washing Machine While Our Kid’s Dinosaur

Umm *points to your dick* are you using that? Cause I need it

grow in private. shock them with your growth. leave them speechless with how much you have transformed into your best self. make their jaw drop as you walk past.

might fuck around and drink the daily recommended amount of water

Secretary (2002) | Dir. Steven Shainberg

can i use your balls as a beauty blender

The Progress of the Magic Wand - Reverie by Jean-Honore Fragonard.

what do you mean “fucker” isn’t a term of endearment