Questioning NPD Culture+ Sickness Is Constantly Feeling Like You're Being Belittled By Being Helped But

NPD is also about having learned so much on how to present yourself because you were forced to perform at an age far too early for that, then growing up and looking down at everyone who cannot perform as well as you do and considering them weak and unprepared for life. How dare you not have the horrific experience of lacking any sense of self unless you’re praised and elevated.

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On February 8th, this nonbinary child was violently beaten by three cis girls. The school did not call them an ambulance after the beating was stopped, and they later died in the hospital from head trauma. They have also been deadnamed and misgendered in their obituary and in the news. As the author of the article puts it:

How is that not national news? A 16 year old beaten to death in a public school bathroom? By other students. All these unanswered seemingly obvious questions about what transpired, and how the adults involved acted. That should be every headline. In fact, almost every local outlet covering the story misgender and deadnames Nex, using their same assigned at birth. The indignities pile on. We don’t yet know if Nex’s nonbinary identity is directly tied to this incident. But, my God, it sure matters to me that this would happen to any child. A nonbinary kid assaulted in a girl’s bathroom. That outcome from the narrative of anti-trans rhetoric these past years. Still why wasn’t this story breaking news? It involves a nonbinary student in a public school. And school violence and school police resource officers. It involves the deep fear so many trans youth have shared with me about their schools.

Yeah planning out how to "torture" people definitely seems like a very reasonable and healthy thing to do.

I genuinely don’t get the whole shtick that NPD makes you a bad person, for many reasons.

I mean most obviously a disorder doesn’t define you but like, in my experience it’s also just that NPD does the exact OPPOSITE of what people think it does!

it can be a horrible thing to deal with, I won’t deny that. But it has forced me to confront two choices- who I am/who I want to be, and who NPD wants me to be. Like, most people don’t ACTIVELY make the choice not to hurt or manipulate others, but I do because NPD is always influencing my desire to be in control and manipulate others. It’s much more present in my mind which means i HAVE to actively make a choice every day to not hurt other people. So actually, NPD just reveals the kind of person I actually am, which is a good one!

I didn’t choose the emotional struggles that forced me to develop this way, but i DO choose how I react. When I want to yell and hurt, i CHOOSE to be kind instead. I’m not saying that I never fuck up or anything like that, I mean hell y’all have seen me fuck up a lot. but even with all the narc crashes and self esteem issues, I am glad I have NPD because I wouldn’t know how much I care about doing the right thing without it!

shoutout to everyone with forget disorders (adhd, DID/osdd, ptsd/c-ptsd, asd, dementia/alzeheimers, schizophrenia, other psychotic disorders, major depressive, chronically ill/phys disabled people with brain fog, people with long-Covid, natural memory degradation, and etc.)

People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder deserve love and support.

Reblog if you agree.

How my brain would probably look if you took off the lid to my head

I couldn’t decide which version was better so I added them both to ensure perfection

Bc Ive seen some ppl ask me about it (and bc im bored) Im just going to say what I* mean when I mention npd hierarchies

So basically some ppl with npd (myself included) have somewhat subconscious rankings of the ppl around them. For me personally these ranks are split into 5 main tiers and most ppl vaguely fall into 1 of them, unless I am close to that person and they get a more personalized rank

The tiers are:

1. Superior (negative) - where you are better than me and that is a threat. I highly dislike you and want to take you down somehow to prove myself better than you

2. Superior (positive) - i look up to you greatly and want you to notice me. I want to become friends or be recognized by you and I am personally interested in you

3. Equal - An ep pretty much. You are on the same level as me and my narcissistic traits are toned down greatly. I value our relationship a lot

4. Inbetween - I see you as somewhat lesser than me but I dont dislike you and often enjoy interacting with you. However you are not on the same level as an ep and I have a lot less things I am willing to put up with for our relationship. Most ppl are here

5. Inferior - You are so far below me I dislike you. I dont like talking to you and you are often exceptionately annoying to me. I will only interact out of either obligation or if something you have brought up personally interests me. Maybe also to fight you if youre a prick. Not many ppl are here

These ranks are not active choices and are entirely subconscious, only noticeable by how I feel about interactions with you. If you are very close to me you may have your own personalized rank, but that happens to very few ppl

*I, me, 1 person on the internet who is not a medical professional. This is what I mean when I talk about hierarchies and these are my experiences, not a universal definition or whatever

sonic sez

"But you don't look like a narcissist"

Oh mb *sharpies my eyes black*