This Website Is Like A Suicide Hotline But With Text Chat Instead.  I Would appreciate it If You Guys

did some outlining today.

by which I mean: 59 total chapters that I have left to write. possibly more, possibly less, but this will probably reach 90k when it’s done.

when I said Climbing to the Light was gonna be a slow-burn monster of a fic, I meant it.

help me

((WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT

OH MY GOD

WHY))

Grantaire and Joly a moment in time.

Grantaire was a painter who was on his last legs when he met Joly the med student who never knew that he would fall for the wild drunk painter. To bad it didn’t last long, two years later Grantaire passed way from his cancer. 

((Anon let me tell you something.

I am by no means the most attractive person on here. Some people think I am, okay yes fine. But there are plenty of people on Tumblr and in the world who do not think they are pretty when they actually are.

Ask-the-god-of-mischief? She's really pretty.

Raincanthurtmenow? Also a very pretty mun.

Those are the first two off the top of my head but let me tell you there are plenty more, and they all add captions saying "sorry for my face" and "I'm not attractive at all".

Which is a fucking crime. 

You know why? Because these people are not used to being told they're pretty. Because clearly there is a voice in their head saying that they are not.

I know I have that voice in my head. It whispers the same thing every time I look in a mirror.

But the thing is to be strong, the thing is to move past that evil little voice telling you you are not good enough. The thing is to know, personally, that you are pretty and you are worth it and you are strong, no matter what the haters say, even if the hater is in your head. Especially if the hater is in your head.

I'll stop ranting now.))

@fantineweek 2018 - day one: youth | childhood.

going off the hapgood translation available online here.

She was born at M. sur M. Of what parents? Who can say? She had never known father or mother. She was called Fantine. Why Fantine? She had never borne any other name. At the epoch of her birth the Directory still existed. She had no family name; she had no family; no baptismal name; the Church no longer existed. She bore the name which pleased the first random passer-by, who had encountered her, when a very small child, running bare-legged in the street. She received the name as she received the water from the clouds upon her brow when it rained. She was called little Fantine. No one knew more than that. This human creature had entered life in just this way. At the age of ten, Fantine quitted the town and went to service with some farmers in the neighborhood. At fifteen she came to Paris “to seek her fortune.”

this is the only paragraph we have that describes anything of her youth. as far as hugo is concerned, her story begins in 1817, when she is 21 years old and two years a mother.

fantine, as in (en)fantine - childlike. the obvious connotation there is innocence.

it is pretty much implied that fantine grows up on the street much the same way that gavroche and the mômes did. and yet hugo spends so much time after this telling us how much she is naively in love with tholomyès; how young she is, how sweet this first love is, even if tholomyès does not requite it.

that naïveté might be solely attached to her romantic inclinations, though, i think.

fantine survives a childhood in the gutter. yet hugo only devotes two sentences (two! out of this enormous book, only two!) to her rise from gamine to grisette.

she is clever enough to realize that she will not be able to get anywhere in life if she stays where she is. hugo says she quits montreuil-sur-mer at the age of ten. ten years old. what on earth was i doing at the age of ten? pretending to be a gargoyle at recess? reading books about talking owls? fantine volunteered to work at a farm; she worked there for five years; and when she wanted more out of life, at the age of fifteen (only two years younger than cosette in 1832!) she walks to paris.

four years later she becomes a mother.

when we first see fantine in “double quartette” and “four and four”, she is young; she is quiet, prone to melancholy daydreaming; she is in love with tholomyès.

(side note: digging through “four and four” for quotes, i found this:

Listolier and Fameuil, who were engaged in discussing their professors, explained to Fantine the difference that existed between M. Delvincourt and M. Blondeau.

blondeau, that old rat! eleven years from now we’ll be hearing your funeral oration courtesy of bossuet! it’s little nuggets like these that keep me in love with this book, dammit.)

fantine wears fashionable if modest clothes, and hugo takes great care to describe not only the curve of her throat and the dimple between her shoulder (uh ... thanks, buddy) but the type of fabric that she wears, the particular color of the muslin, et cetera. fantine is a pieceworker at this point -- she clearly knows what she is doing, even if she is less coquettish about it than the other girls in the quartet. this gives us an inkling of what she spent her time doing from the age of fifteen onward. though, really, this is only a different venue for what she had been doing ever since she was ten.

she spent her time climbing up the ladder. she found a new skill, and she learned it, and she made herself useful. i don’t call that particularly naive.

she got out of the gutter, and the horrors that this entails. she made herself a comfortable life away from the constraints of what she was born into.

contrast this with the stories of valjean and javert:

valjean did not start in the gutter. he was forced into prison, and he was forced into the abyss that is being an ex-convict. only the grace of m. myriel allowed him to climb out of that pit -- not just his kindness, but his silver. ( “i have bought your soul for God.” )

javert started in the gutter, but unlike fantine -- let’s be honest here -- given the social and historical context in which hugo was writing, the terms with which he describes javert can easily be interpreted as javert being part romani -- javert does not have the same options to rise from his horrible circumstances. he has no miraculous donor to give him money. and he is not a blonde white girl.

so fantine and valjean get out. there is a catch; of course there is.

it is valjean’s history which is the pitfall waiting for him. as long as someone knows who he is, and will take advantage of it, he will always have the specter of the bagne lurking over him.

and fantine’s fate? well, by the time we meet her, as young as she still is (21! by God, she’s only twenty-one years old!), the trap has already been baited and set for her, and she’s already been caught in it. tholomyès has made her the mother of his child, but he has refused to make her his wife.

i don’t believe that fantine is so innocent she cannot comprehend it is only tholomyès’ whim which keeps her, an unmarried mother, out of the yawning abyss. i can’t believe it. she must have seen enough of life, both in paris and in m-sur-m before that, to know how society devours unmarried mothers.

i can, however, believe that it is her innocent love which blinds her to the fact that he is willing to condemn her to such despair.

Fictober Event,  The prompts for 2020

Here is the list for October this year. Write something short (or long) and tag it with #fictober20 in the first five tags. Let’s see your creativity!

“no, come back!”

“that’s the easy part”

“you did this?”

“that didn’t stop you before”

“unacceptable, try again”

“that was impressive”

“yes I did, what about it?”

“I’m not doing that again”

“will you look at this?”

“all I ever wanted”

“I told you so”

“watch me”

“I missed this”

“you better leave now”

“not interested, thank you”

“I never wanted anything else”

“give me a minute or an hour”

“you don’t see it?”

“I can’t do this anymore”

“did I ask?”

“this, this makes it all worth it”

“and neither should you”

“do we have to?”

“are you kidding me?”

“sometimes you can even see”

“how about you trust me for once?”

“give me that”

“do I have to do everything here?”

“back up!”

“just say it”

“I trust you”

This event is open to all fanfiction and original fiction.

Start October the First. You do not have to do the prompts in order. Tag your posts with #fictober20. Please state if your entry is original fiction or fanfiction and what fandom at the top. State common warnings and triggers at the top and tag accordingly. I reserve the right to not reblog fics that I find inappropriate. I will reblog things here on @fictober-event, follow this blog to see all the entries.

Go forth and write!

Photo by Vladas Kalnys on Unsplash

a sorceress. the outfit was drawn using this photoset as a reference.

I'm getting better at hands yaas

missingrache replied to your post “looking into the depths of my WIP folder is always a weird mix of…”

a les mis au of What holli i’m dying to know

it is in my drafts as ‘les mis dads au’ and in it, for reasons that don’t need exploring at this juncture, Javert raises Cosette and Valjean raises the Thenardier kids and Cosette and Eponine meet again in Paris shortly before the failed revolution and that was as far as I got.

have a Flash Bastard as an apology I'm so RRY 

les mis au / the walking dead

several years ago, a zombie outbreak occurred and the world fell into irreparable shambles. almost all communications were shut down and since then many have lost hope of ever contacting loved ones. to survive, most people have broken up into small groups, but hostilities run deeply between survivors as they search out whatever supplies remain. jean valjean, after surviving the initial wave of chaos encounters a girl named cosette wandering the streets with a shotgun resting on her shoulder. because cosette had lost her mother recently and valjean also had no family left to speak of, the two decide to travel together at least until they find somewhere safe. they eventually run into enjolras and his unkempt group of survivors who have been scraping by in a small section of the city they have barricaded off. gavroche scouts out supplies, enjolras tries to make the difficult decisions for the group, and grantaire sits around with a shotgun and a bottle of whiskey. javert is a part of the remaining military force that exists in a heavily guarded base outside of the city limits. the military has attempted to “aid” the survivors behind the barricade, but it has long been suspected among the survivors that their true intentions are to line them up against a wall and shoot them, so they have not given an inch. it doesn’t matter so much in the end, because everyone is a carrier of the virus, and no matter how you die, you turn.