Taylor Swift Songs  and Emotions:

My body my choice was never given to the girls in the red room 

The Black Widow movie highlights all the problems I had with the way Joss Whedon approached the forced hysterectomy aspect of Nat’s background.

As Yelena notes when she shows Nat her vest- the girls of the Red Room don’t have bodily autonomy. They can’t make any decisions for themselves. The hysterectomy bit in the plane acts as a very vile and vivid example of this.

Joss Whedon chose to put all his focus on the “no kids” angle instead of the bodily autonomy angle. In his eyes the horror was the absence of child bearing, not the absence of choice. To him- it’s a given that all the girls in Red Room would’ve had babies if their lives had gone differently- bc women who can’t have children are monsters and societal outcasts.

When Nat inquired about Yelena wanting kids she replied that she wanted a dog. I take this as Yelena doesn’t want kids, BUT she still mourns the loss of that choice. She resents how she never had a chance to come to that realization herself. Which, for most women, will hit home more than just “shes infertile and it’s the worst possible thing that could happen to her.”

Biochemistry Struggles

Our professor explaining protein folding! I'm hopeless already with this advanced biochem stuff.....

devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes

absolutely genius of rf kuang to elaborate on virtually nothing about speer's culture. the only things said about speer are "speerlies are mindless savages" and "speerlies are most definitely not mindless savages". there are no deep dives, no explanations of their way of life, nothing beyond the glimpses that disproves nikan's belief that they are nothing but a violent group. we saw that they had leaders that cared about their people and children. we saw that they are people who found joy in life. but that's really not much.

this emphasizes the horror of genocide. millenia of culture and history, individual lives filled with love, pain, and passion, just completely wiped away. there were only two surviving speerlies. one of them was too young when he was taken away, and probably doesn't remember much. the things he did remember was also probably buried under years of abuse and drugs people were plying him with. the other one didn't even know she was from speer until the last few months of her life, and there was really no one around to teach her about their culture. and if there was, life as she knows it was falling apart. learning about her dead people's culture probably didn't even cross her mind.

without saying any of these things and by intentionally leaving readers in the dark about what speer was truly like, rf kuang said so much about the horrors of genocide. by not saying anything, she said everything. she did the "show me, don't tell me" tip for writers and it was brilliant.

we will never learn most of speer's culture and history and that was the point.

somewhere out there chaghan heard the news of fang runin’s death through the talks of the markets. he stops to ask them what they know, and they tell him she died on speer, by the side of chen kitay, and at the hand of yin nezha. he understands that she is gone—that he is the last of the cike, and he has never felt lonelier.

She's the MAN

TAYLOR SWIFT The Eras Tour - Buenos Aires, Argentina - November 9th, 2023. Photo by unknown.

When Aemond sees Lucerys

Being an international Asian swiftie, this week was really chaotic (bruh Ticketmaster) and sad because until and unless I moved to another country, i won't be able to attend her concert. I'm also happy that Taylor's gonna tour and people will sing 'f*ck the patriarchy' or 'taylor you'll be fine' in the arena! What's with these contradictory feelings? 🫠

important things to remember

Before/After

Happiness is crossing out your works Ｏ(≧∇≦)Ｏ in your to-do list ..

I tried many ways to be productive but writing down your works with a time limit period works like magic. Believe me. When you cross down each works that's a marvelous feeling.

Instead of wasting paper I prefer the in build sticky note app in my laptop to jot down things and in this online days posting sticky notes on your screen works better than writing it down on paper.

Day 1/10 of being productive.

Small steps matter.