So I Was Thinking About Music Earlier In A Earth Is Space Austraila/Humans Are Space Orcs Kind Of Way

4th Dimensional sensitivity? This will cause the Invasion to become far more difficult.

My contribution for the humans are weird: Deja Vu eddition

The concept of deja vu. Like it doesn’t happen that often to humans so it’s pretty normal if aliens didn’t know that can happen to a human. Maybe it only happens to humans and aliens misunderstand the entire concept.

One time on an away mission we encountered it first. It was with human-Chloe, our pilot. I and a few others were with her sent to explore an unknown asteroid belt. It was fairly dangerous but we had learned that human instinct, their so called ‘gut feeling’ was quite handy at times. So the captain assigned her with us. I still don’t know how the human gut is involved in their logical thinking, something that to known knowledge happens in their brains, but who knows with that species. 

We had mapped the outer rings and were busy with the inner parts of the belt, all went well. Human-Chloe cut some close edges, she calls it efficient manoeuvring, I call it nausiating, but we finished mapping the belt and were ready to fly back. I was watching human-Chloe closely, trying to brace myself for her ‘efficient manoeuvring’ when I noticed her shift uncomfertable in her chair. ‘Is everything okay human-Chloe?’ I asked. She turned around and brushed it off. ‘Oh, just deja vu.’ ‘What is that? Are you alright?’ I asked. Humans are know to be able to brush of major pain when they are busy. I looked outside anxiously. We were flying through a dense astroid field, human-Chloe needed to be in top condition for this and her frowning didn’t reasure me at all.

‘I just feel like I’ve experienced this before.’ Human-Chloe explained. She made a sharp turn, way to sharp if you ask me. ‘It’s nothing to worry about.’ I didn’t dare question her any further, instead held on for dear life as she nearly crashed into some astroids. I never knew humans were sensitive to the fourth dimension. But it would explain why human-Chloe wasn’t worried at all when cutting close edges. If she knew what was going to happend then that would explain why she was such a good pilot. This was great news, fourth dimentional sensitives on our crew! I knew there was more to that ‘gut-feeling’ of theirs.

When we got back I immediately went to update the system on our human knowledge. Weird they never mentioned it before, maybe humans think everyone has that. I can’t wait to ask human-Chloe how their 4D sensitivity works in detail!!

okay so i’ve seen a lot of post about What If Humans Were Weird and stuff about humans and aliens interacting but………….give me some human/alien relationships? where are my complicated courting rituals???? where are my human alien marriages??? Give Me That Shit! what if aliens consider humans the Epitome of Beauty and grace? like yknow how some ostriches prefer presenting to humans instead of other ostriches? and anyone who is lucky enough to be mated to a human is thought of to be like a tier above.

but like the flip side where any human who marries an alien is immediately known as a Kinkster. “i fucking knew david was into weird shit!!! no wonder he got married to an alien from sector 764b4 HE LIKES TENTACLES!!”

or maybe?? aliens who like humans are weird to other aliens? “omg ru'garr stop fetishizing an entire species, u creep.” and ru'garr is trying to hide his weird human porn like “ITS NOT THAT WEIRD GUYS THE GENITALS ARE COMPATIBLE!!!” “fuck off ru'garr”

i just,,, can’t believe i haven’t seen any of this?? @space-australians

We did it again people, reblog to get some divine intervention and never miss a saving throw again

Quite a few have been saying:”But what about laughing?”, in the comments of my ‘Weird Human Reactions to Fear: the Singing Edition’ post. My question is: do you know why humans laugh when shit gets real?

Laughter is our brain’s Blue Screen of Death.

Where a computer would throw up an error and possibly crash, our brains go:”well, shit”, and hit the big red button labelled: ‘LAUGHTER (and possibly applause, but probably not applause)’. Since we need our brains 24/7, we don’t have the luxury of error messages. So our brains buy some time to figure out what’s going on by making us laugh in the weirdest situations.

Imminent doom? Laugh.

Absolutely livid? Laugh.

Distraught? Laugh.

Pretty sure you’re gonna die? Laugh.

I mean, we can’t be sure the aliens don’t have brains that work the same way, but seeing as other animals on Planet Earth don’t really have that either… that’d probably freak them the fuck out too.

Not only do the gangly bipeds sing when they’re scared, they could just as easily start laughing.

Why do you do this? 390 shmo? WHY?

to contribute to the ‘humans are weird’ posts...

Okay, but what about marathons tho. Humans are built to follow animals on foot. Until the animal literally gives up and dies. That’s how we hunt. We’re not super fast or claw-y or bite-y. we just keep running. Forever.  Imagine aliens finding out about marathons. Aliens who are stealth predators or evolved from sedentary species learning that humans just straight up run their prey to death.  Alien Wimu: Human Nik, I have been watching this hologram for several ngu’la. What are these humans doing? Human Nik: Oh, wow, that’s the Olympics! It’s a competition where humans see who is the best at various physical tasks. This is the marathon, I think?  Alien Wiro: We have tests of physical prowess on Mngumu as well. But I have been watching for several ngu’la and these humans have been running the entire time. I am concerned. Are they well? Has something gone wrong with the event? Is something chasing them?  Human Nik: Nope, that’s the event! It’s actually really cool. A long time ago, this human ran – a bunch of kilometers? Something like 40, I think – because he was carrying a message to a place called Marathon from … someplace in Greece because of a war or something. He died I think. Anyway, now a lot of people do it! I actually ran a half-marathon for charity once. It was pretty grueling but it felt really good. Alien Wiro: …I’m sorry, but I believe you said 40 kilometers. That is equivalent to roughly 349 shmo!  Human Nik: Yeah, that sounds about right.  Alien Wiro: And you said the original person died? Human Nik: Well, I think. But like I said we train for it now. It’s not so bad, really.  Alien Wiro: …  Human Nik: Anyway, thanks for showing me! It’s really easy to lose track of time up here, wow. Had no idea the Olympics were happening.  Alien Wiro: … @space-australians

Only Human

Again with the Humans being Space Orcs, but when we mess up, someone is bound to say “you’re only human. You can’t be perfect.” I’m sure everyone has been told this at least once on their life and has said it at least once as well.

So what if an alien were to mess up. Like they miss calculated something. The human, trying to comfort them, says “well you can’t be perfect, you’re only human” just out of habit. How would that look to an alien, how would that translate?

“Human, I am in fact (insert alien species here). I am not human.”

Human realizing their mistake. “Oh um…sorry it’s just a saying.”

“Are you implying that making mistakes is prone to humans?”

“No that’s not-well I mean when people…”

“Does this mean I have to be perfect because I’m not human?” Alien starts freaking out while the human sweats.

I can see them trying to generalize and make a galactic version of this saying but it ends poorly. “You’re only a carbonated life form”

“Excuse you, my primary elemental make up is (insert thing here)”

“Oh boy here we got again.” Haha.

HUMANS IN SPACE

so the humans are space orcs posts where we can just hide emotions from our customer service skill set, why don’t we take that a step further.

What about actors, who literally train for years to act different behaviors for different roles, from good guys to bad guys. One minute the human is kind and gentle, the next he is arrogantly addressing the pirates who invaded, all from his acting days.

Their strict memorization can help them recall lines for any situation. They can cry on cue, motivate their crewmates with a well place monologues, become the life of the party with one liners and comedic sketches.

Hell this can apply to dedicated fans. The ones who try to get in character at cosplays, or memorize entire dialogues from their favorite scenes.

Really I just want someone to write alien fic where a human quotes the wallet scene from pulp fiction and just fucking terrifies them

I absolutely love all the space australia/ humans are weird/space orcs things going around, so I haven’t been able to stop thinking about stuff like metaphors and idioms and figurative speech. Like, what if those had been purely human concepts?

Human: “He really broke Omar’s heart”

Alien: “What?? Is Omar still alive? Can he be healed? Is it culturally appropriate to seek out revenge?”

Human: “No, no, like… He hurt him badly.”

Alien: “Yes I understand that your cardiovascular system is important.”

- - -

Human: “She’s a real wolf in sheep’s clothing.”

Alien: “What is a wolf?”

Human: “It’s a predator - you know, the one dogs descent from?”

Alien: “… She looks human. How do you know the value of her clothes?”

- - -

Human: “That dickhead stabbed me in the back”

Alien: “MEDIC!!!!”

- - -

Human 1: “Wish me luck!”

Human 2: “Break a leg!”

*Horrified aliens in the background*

This is amusing.

Aliens watching out for their humans

So most of the stories I’ve seen in the Humans-Are-Weird/Space-Australia/Space-Orcs have had aliens being completely accepting and mostly one human explaining things.

So what would happen when the alien crew who loved their human and easily accepted that their brain didn’t always work right encountered as absolute asshole?

“Human Katyleen, I do not understand why you are upset about Human Sarah traveling with our crew?”

“Because psychos like her should be locked up Galthor! God first it’s rude to call them nutjobs when they are now they get to take the spots that people like me deserve!”

“Do you have the ability to lift a Bilibithor above your head?”

“No but-”

“Ah! You must be able to out-talk a Fiffifin then!”

“They use so many alliterations it makes no sense!”

“Are you able to correctly change speeds to prevent a hyper speed collision that is, the earth term is inches correct?”

“She is still a psycho! She could snap at any time and kill you all!”

“I believe Human Sarah told us about your kind.”

“What did she say?”

“I believe the terms used is cunt.”

What he fuck even is this website

rͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬaͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣtͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭ  rͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬaͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣtͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭ rͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬaͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣtͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭ rͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬaͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣtͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭ rͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬaͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣtͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭ

where is the rat? bring him to me.