1. Frantic by AvoidingAverage
Geralt was hanging limply against the rough bark. Two daggers kept him pinioned like a bug in place and left dark streaks of drying blood down his arms and exposed chest. Silver hair was matted close to his forehead from a sluggishly bleeding would that left golden eyes hazy and unfocused. Worst still were the bruises littering every inch of exposed skin like a collage of torment.
His Witcher had been tortured.
———
There was a name for the emotion burning like fire in his blood, eating away at the dandelion bard that had made his living seeking the pleasure of others. A simple phrase that barely encompasses the new tension in his bones and made his mind focus with singular, violent intent.
Wrath. _________________________
Geralt leaves Jaskier to go on a hunt that quickly goes wrong. Jaskier decides to take matters into his own hands.
~~~
Whoo boy this one was good. Gave me literal chills the first time I read it. Still just as good as the first read, gotta love me some Feral!Jaskier. Jask is so cool in this one I love it a lot.
2. a bit of violent delight by violaceum_vitellina_viridis
“I’m looking for the Witcher."
“Ah, you’re here to ferret him out for us, are ya, bard?”
“I’m here to do no such thing. I’m here to see if he needs any assistance and tell you to fuck off.”
Jaskier happens to be in the right place at the right time to help an injured Eskel.
~~~
I'm not sure if I've uploaded this fic already or not but its still really good so you should read it again even if I have recommended this one before. Always love me some well written dynamic between Jaskier and the other wolf witchers (Coën too!).
3. and in triumph, live by violaceum_vitellina_viridis
The first time Jaskier properly meets Lambert, the Witcher nearly breaks the bard’s nose.
Jaskier is in the right place at the right time again, and a little violence isn't about to stop him from doing exactly what he wants: to take care of yet another Witcher.
~~~
Haha stubborn Lambert and chaotic Jaskier go brrr. Love these morons a lot and Lambert and Jaskier's dynamic almost as much as I love Geralt and Jaskiers.
4. this action will have no echo by andrewminyards
“What are you doing here?” Geralt flicks his gaze over Jaskier, who’s suddenly acutely aware of the hidden blades under his clothes. “Where’s your lute?”
“My - what are you doing here?” Jaskier deflects, trying valiantly to hide his panic. With Geralt here, how is he supposed to kill the lord now?
“The lord hired me as a bodyguard.” Geralt looks around uncomfortably, clearing his throat. “Apparently someone’s trying to kill him.”
Jaskier’s stomach drops. Well, shit. If the lord knows that someone is after him, Jaskier will have a harder time getting close enough to kill him, and with Geralt acting as a bodyguard… that complicates things. A lot.
*
Jaskier is an assassin, but Geralt doesn’t know that. When Jaskier is sent after a cruel, corrupt lord who has hired Geralt as his bodyguard, Jaskier tries to figure out how to assassinate the lord without Geralt finding out his secret.
~~~
Ah, chaos and misunderstandings my beloved. 10/10 would read again I love the concept of this fic so much. Also this author is a really good author I'd totally recommend checking out their other fics (I'm subscribed to them!).
5. damned saint, honourable villain by violaceum_vitellina_viridis
“I’m Jaskier, or Dandelion, a – ”
“Bard, professor, infamous thorn in the side,” the Witcher finishes for him.
Jaskier is the one saved, for once. Though that hardly stops him from helping the Witcher who helped him.
~~~
Vesemir my beloved <3 <3. Wow this really giving found family vibes huh, totally not being called out here. Vesemir as a father figure? Yes please.
6. the fume of sighs by violaceum_vitellina_viridis
Jaskier can be very patient when he needs to be.
But Gods is he tired of Geralt’s shit.
Jaskier not-so-gently bullying his favorite Witcher.
~~~
Haha Jaskier and Geraly dynamic funny. Love these stupid boys so much. Also like, mood Jaskier, honestly. I too, am sick of Geralt's shit lmao.
7. Don't Leave Me by AvoidingAverage
Jaskier’s hands tighten around Geralt before slowly losing their grip, spasming where they fall limp. “Ger--geralt--”
“Don’t you dare,” he snarls back, “Don’t you dare try to give me your fucking goodbyes. You are not dying.”
“S--silly man.” Jaskier’s smile is full of painful fondness. “Would you fight death for me?”
Geralt swings him up into his arms and nearly weeps at the sound of familiar hooves running in his direction. “Every. Fucking. Time.”
~~~
Haha ouch. It's angst with a happy ending but it still hurted. Also poisoning is involved so theres that I guess. This stressed me out a bit lmao was on the edge of my seat far too many times.
renaissance in the 21st century
💗
Ok so we all love a hyperfixation but does anyone else ever avoid certain things because you feel like you don't have the time to be fixated on that, or that you aren't in the right headspace for this to become your latest obsession
Absolute beginner adult ballet series (fabulous beginning teacher)
40 piano lessons for beginners (some of the best explanations for piano I’ve ever seen)
Excellent basic crochet video series
Basic knitting (probably the best how to knit video out there)
Pre-Free Figure Skate Levels A-D guides and practice activities (each video builds up with exercises to the actual moves!)
How to draw character faces video (very funny, surprisingly instructive?)
Another drawing character faces video
Literally my favorite art pose hack
Tutorial of how to make a whole ass Stardew Valley esque farming game in Gamemaker Studios 2??
Introduction to flying small aircrafts
French/Dutch/Fishtail braiding
Playing the guitar for beginners (well paced and excellent instructor)
Playing the violin for beginners (really good practical tips mixed in)
Color theory in digital art (not of the children’s hospital variety)
Retake classes you hated but now there’s zero stakes:
Calculus 1 (full semester class)
Learn basic statistics (free textbook)
Introduction to college physics (free textbook)
Introduction to accounting (free textbook)
Learn a language:
Ancient Greek
Latin
Spanish
German
Japanese (grammar guide) (for dummies)
French
Russian (pretty good cyrillic guide!)
Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.
did he really fall victim to the alt right pipeline or was he already insufferable and just looking for ways to justify his behavior
Chip the glasses and crack the plates! Blunt the knives and bend the forks! That’s what Bilbo Baggins hates — Smash the bottles and burn the corks! Cut the cloth and tread on the fat! Pour all the milk on the pantry floor! Leave the bones on the bedroom mat! Splash the wine on every door! Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl; Pound them up with a thumping pole; And when you’ve finished, if any are whole, Send them down the hall to roll! That’s what Bilbo Baggins hates! So, carefully! carefully with the plates! That’s what Bilbo Baggins hates! So, carefully! carefully with the plates!
"Why are there so many female archers in fiction?"
Please forgive the clickbait-y title! This is a super complex and interesting topic that I barely scratch the surface of here, but I hopefully will be able to do more justice to things like this in the future!
Also, it's not the point of the video, but I had fun with the outfits in this- do you have any faves?
As always, please consider supporting me on Patreon if you can, or watching on youtube if not!
this is the funniest fucking thing, god bless elton
(tw: f slur, even though it’s not really used in that context)
FULL VIDEO