💥🙌👏

Gosh dammit muffin! Now I can't get the idea of long haired andorogynous zuko out of my head, and I'm like "what if he'd never done the bald ponytail thing and just let his hair grow back, so by the show he had long ass hair" and then I was like "what if he joined the gaang after crossroads and figured that the best way to go incognito was as a woman since people were looking for the PRINCE. Anyway now i'm staring down a blank google doc so thx.

Yesss.

Chip the glasses and crack the plates! Blunt the knives and bend the forks! That’s what Bilbo Baggins hates — Smash the bottles and burn the corks! Cut the cloth and tread on the fat! Pour all the milk on the pantry floor! Leave the bones on the bedroom mat! Splash the wine on every door! Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl; Pound them up with a thumping pole; And when you’ve finished, if any are whole, Send them down the hall to roll! That’s what Bilbo Baggins hates! So, carefully! carefully with the plates! That’s what Bilbo Baggins hates! So, carefully! carefully with the plates!

this goes so hard

Jaskier: "ugh i need a trim. Geralt do you have any shaving cream?"

Geralt: "no I don't like the taste."

Jaskier: "wait. what? You eat it?"

Geralt: "No. Why would I eat it if I don't like the taste?"

💗

Elizabethan Peasant 1: Look yonder! Someone has writ upon that ceiling that thou art most easily gulled!

Elizabethan Peasant 2: More fool they, for I cannot read.

Elizabethan Peasant 1: *sighing, lowers his visage unto his palm*

secondhand embarrassment is pure agony and i wish a lot of comedy didnt rely on it

September Malec fic rec! (yes we're ignoring this is getting posted in October)

This (last) month's theme has been suggested by @just-add-butter, for which thank you because my brain couldn't think of one. So this time we have the theme Flowers and Flower language! As always, I have tagged the authors but if you prefer I don’t, please tell me because I don’t want these to be annoying for the authors.💜

If you want to add your own recs, please feel free to do so!😊

One-shots:

bloom by @smilebackwards: This fic is just pure tooth-rotting fluff and I love it so much.

Summary:

Alec loves watching Izzy get flowers but he thinks he would have liked, just once, to know what it felt like for someone to send him something so bright and sweet, frivolous, just because they cared.

Alternate Universe by @sugarandspace: An adorable, pre-Malec, mundane meet-cute where Magnus is a florist and Alec is stressed.

Summary:

The man stopped what he was doing and looked at Alec, his eyebrows raised. “Are you aware that white lilies are usually funeral flowers? They symbolize modesty and purity, and can be used on different occasions too but that’s what they are most famous for.” “Oh, what would you recommend then?” Alec asked the man, who seemed to light up at the question.

Flowers by @facialteeth: Magnus is having a bad day aka Alec had to cancel their date because demons never sleep. Cue Alec making sure to get Magnus some flowers as an apology in between his shadowhunter-duties.

Summary:

There weren't many things that could ruin Magnus' day. The world ending. His favorite show being canceled. Perhaps, Alec texting him that morning and informing him that he couldn't accompany Magnus on their date tonight because twenty shax demons had popped up. Or, Alec finds a way to apologize, even amidst his duties and the demons that he is suppose to be battling.

Flowers for you by @sugarandspace: Breaking my own rules by rec-ing two fics by the same author, but this author just has the loveliest flower fics.

Summary:

Alec is a Shadowhunter, he probably doesn't care about flowers, Magnus thinks as he's nervously waiting for Alec with a bouquet of red carnations in his hands. Slowly, he gets to learn how wrong he was. -.-.- Or five times Magnus gave Alec flowers.

Where Flowers Bloom by Shergar: Another fluffy fic that never fails to bring a smile to my face when I read it!

Summary:

After their marriage and their move to Alicante, Magnus and Alec's lives are even busier than they had been before. When Magnus realizes that they both have an open few hours in their schedules, he steals his husband away for a midnight date.

Multi-chapter fics or series:

The Language of Flowers by @astudyinfic: Mostly fluffy with some sad bits aka Max is dead and my heart is weeping. Starring Alec as a florist and Magnus as a tattoo artist. (Complete)

Summary:

Following the loss of his brother, florist Alec Lightwood wants to do something to remember him by. Enter tattoo artist Magnus Bane who brings beauty and love into his life. What starts as a one-time thing blooms into an expression of love for all the important people in Alec's life.

out of some dreaming tree by @faejilly: It's a jilly fic, what else can I say except that it's stunning. Seriously, pretty words with pretty descriptions and flowers, what else do you want or need? (Complete)

Summary:

Demons, a hunt, a quest, a partnership that seems too good to be true. Something dangerous is lurking around the edges of their worlds, and Alec and Magnus are determined to do something about it.

Heliotrope by @wirewrappedlily: This series hurts. It's beautiful and lovely but it *hurts*, so tissue warning for those who, like me, get easily weepy. (Complete? The different parts of the series are all complete so putting this under complete)

Summary:

If his client got quite a bit more than a simple cover of the scar from the emergency C-section; if Magnus's magic softened the edges of the hole of grief she had fallen into, just enough that she could find some peace with her own body once more--well, Magnus made a note that, Shadowhunters be damned, the little flower shop down the street was worth the risk.

Invictus by Lecrit: This is technically a one-shot, but at 36k words I have decided to place it with the multi-chapter fics because long one-shot is long.

“You should get a tattoo.” Alec firmly believed in coincidences, in the serendipity that could bring the hazards of life, but even he could admit that sometimes, things seemed to happen for a reason. He was too much of a pragmatic person to truly believe in fate and destiny. So even when Jace blurted those words at him as he stumbled into his shop, they remained abstract concepts to him, no matter how it nudged at the back of his mind.

amor in lingua florum by Hamaithor: And a last fluffy-two part series to tie of this list. Nephilim have a certain affinity for plants which is a HC I adore and Magnus seems to be just as enraptured by it.

Summary:

Alec ends up spending a lot of time at Magnus’ loft, and with him come the flowers. A canonverse AU where Nephilim have a certain affinity for plants; and Magnus knows that, but that doesn't mean he was prepared for anything like this.

So my sister wants to start sewing more, because

a. She’s 5′ 11″ and can never find pants long enough for her legs or shirts long enough for her arms.

b. She hates synthetic fibers as much as I do and it’s difficult to find natural fiber clothes that aren’t made of cotton

c. She’s a biologist and would physically fistfight microplastics if given half a chance

So her gift from mom and dad for her birthday was a sewing machine. Not a super expensive one but a good solid serviceable one.

And recently she asked “So where do I GET wool or linen and thread that isn’t polyester” and mom was like ‘go ask your sister’

And I, of course, crashed into the group text like “GET A PEN I HAVE WEBSITES FOR U” and honestly I’m thrilled about this

i never talk about these things but i can’t remain silent.

i know tumblr doesn’t give a SHIT when things happen in countries outside the “most popular ones” (such as the usa & england). it’s true, don’t lie to me. y’all don’t give A FUCK. not every issue and problem in said countries gets the appropriate exposure but in general shit shows up on the news WORLD FREAKING  WIDE. you set up donations, you help out, your spread the word, you say “pray for x”……

southern europe is burning. 

my country is burning.

people are dying - at home, on the road, trying to run away, in their cars.

yesterday my country had 300 active fires.

people are losing EVERYTHING they own.

i have a friend that is on a train right now passing through places that have been burnt to the ground and she says the smoke is so intense it’s getting inside the train and she can barely breathe.

and yet, even though several people (myself included) have been trying to bring awareness to what has been happening in southern europe… what we get from most of you, those not part of the countries suffering, is silence. we don’t ask for money, we don’t ask for shit other than a reblog to spread awareness… something you can delete in 24/48hrs if you wish. 

i don’t know what to tell you. i’m angry. i’m frustrated. i’m disappointed. i feel like i’m screaming into the void. “a reblog does nothing” - you know that’s a damn lie, you know exposure always helps, you know people start paying attention when posts on social media become popular. my country in particular is a small one, we get ZERO exposure. y’all are only starting to figure out we even fucking exist bc of the shit we’ve been winning lately. 

but hell, if the EU doesn’t give a shit, why should some user on tumblr dot com?

again, i don’t know what to tell you so i’ll let the images speak for themselves: 

An image captured by a Nasa satellite shows a thick plume of smoke blowing southward from the Greek island of Chios over the island of Crete

Torneros de Jamuz, Spain

Duca, Croatia

A helicopter from Italy’s civil protection service drops water on a fire near the railway between Venice and Trieste

Residents take refuge on the beach as a wildfire burns on the mountain next to the village of Lithi, on the Greek island of Chios

Men gather cattle during a forest fire in Vieira de Leiria, Marinha Grande, Portugal.

Charred trees are seen on the hills above the Cloister of Thivaidas on Mount Athos, a World Heritage Site in Greece

Portugal