“ur so quiet” thanks i do not want to talk to you
hi hello here's a little tag drop !
it's as if he knows to sense the laughter before the sound hits his ears , loud and strong and vivid enough to cut through the life that pulses through the loft. she's always had a way of demanding attention — even from him , even right now — and perhaps that's why they fall into this tug of war : one where she tries to move close and he tries to pull away. it shouldn't bother him , but it does ( she'd like that , wouldn't she ? ) , and he lets his eyes flutter shut as her head falls beside his. he doesn't laugh at her little explanation , just lets out a huff with no definite meaning. " feelin' generous tonight , or did the jungle juice just fuck you up that bad? " naji shifts his weight just slightly , barely a movement at all , like it’s enough to put a barrier between them — even though he knows she'll break it , same as always. he's one to talk with the way the liquor is clouding up his brain already , making him a little less resistant to her casual audacity , fingers tightening around the cigarette as she leans close. naji's pulse quickens — he hates that it does — and he freezes up , like the creature carved out of stone like everyone else makes him out to be. the weight of the tin falls heavy in his pocket , his voice suddenly drying his throat . it drops low , a harsh murmur for just the two of them , barely loud enough to hear over the music. " guess i'm your second charity case of the night. " without waiting for a response, his fingers slip further into his pocket, feeling the cool, familiar shape of the tin. it doesn't rattle the same way it should , and his curiosity finally lets his gaze slide over to find the outline of her face beside him. " do i open it now , or when i get home? "
avoid her gaze, and she’ll only want it more. a masochist, no doubt. words sting, sure, but they’re far more amusing when delivered by someone who usually seems so silent and stoic. it’s as if she has the wicked ability to reach into his insides, twisting his nerves whenever she wants … and, staring at the side of his face, she wants now. shoes, right. she forces her eyes away from him, if only briefly, glancing down at her feet before bursting into belly - aching laughter — a big, thunderous sound that could surely be heard over the pounding music. “ i told this girl that my heels were so fuckin’ uncomfortable, ” juno leans against the same wall as him, slowly encroaching on his territory, “ and she said that, if i wasn’t gonna use them, i should give them to her instead. funny. ” there’s a brief pause as her amusement dies down, only a few weak chuckles left as evidence of its existence. head rolls back, joining the pair in their rest with a bang. “ well, now that you’ve had your fun stabbing me a little, ” she nudges naji’s leg with one of the victims of the earlier robbery, hand sticking inside her enormous coat to retrieve her debt’s payment — feeling like she’s holding her heart between shaky fingers. she infiltrates one of his pockets and buries it in there. deep. a secret. unable — or unwilling — to witness his reaction, for whatever reason. “ got you something. use ‘em wisely. ”
to be fair , naji's not really a happy anything. he's always felt too much or too little , and even tonight he leans towards the former , awkward and messy in a way that he's hoping she won't find pathetic. the word mopey sticks with him , but he's simply amused , the feeling tugging his lips into a reluctant, lopsided smile he has no business letting mabel see. he swears it's the first time he's smiled all night , but hey , she's always carried a kind of warmth with her that's bled into his gloom. " i'm not grumpy all the time — " i'm definitely not grumpy around you. " — and , believe it or not , the eeyore comment is unoriginal. " naji stares at her reflection for a beat longer than he should , alcohol addled senses fixating his gaze there. he swallows , hard. tentative fingers drift to the door handle , rough thumbs brushing over it before the cold metal finally snaps him out of it, naji’s blinking hard like he’s trying to shake off the fog. " maybe i'll get you that shot when you're done. " before he's encouraged to say another drunken word , he pulls the door closed between them , letting the latch click softly into place before he leans against it. the heels of his palms press into his eyes , the pressure sending his vision dark and filled with sprinklings of stars. he's hoping that now — now that mabel's behind a door, where he can’t see her — he might finally be able to get a grip.
in her own defense, mabel isn't completely sure that her pouts work on naji ; there's the sneaking suspicion, yes, and maybe she weaponizes it a lot because she knows it'll work, yes, but she's never been sure. always the gnawing feeling that maybe he's just humoring her, insecurity personified and speaking in the most irritating little voice in her head — if mabel thinks about it too much her stomach hurts. cheeks go pink when she looks at him like this, enough to make her freeze for a sputtering moment before giving up and ducking under his arm to get in. push past him ( ignore the stumbling, she didn't claim to be sober ) and she won't have to look too long. " i don't even have attitude, you're just so grumpy all the time. thought you'd be a happy drunk, you know. " confidence is restored and her tone evens out, gains the little lilt typical of her. mabel's even brave enough to grin at him from the mirror, " awww, you're being so sweet. f'i knew you'd be like this i would've asked you for a shot earlier. " mabel contemplates kicking him out, feels the nerves in waves ; naji's aura was quite blue ( or maybe purple ? ) right now, she wonders if he notices. " mm — actually, i'm fine ! are you okay, though ? you look so ... mopey. like eeyore. " ouch.
“I watched life and wanted to be a part of it but found it painfully difficult.”
— Anaïs Nin, The Diary of Anaïs Nin, Vol. 1: 1931-1934