Day 60

23.9.21 | Reading about animal vulnerability for my English literature class.

14.05.2025 // catching up with readings

love all the reading I've been doing lately. it is also exciting to see my library build up over the years, especially now that I can afford to buy some of the books I have wanted for years. recommendations from friends and acquaintances have also helped me expand my reading choices beyond my usual categories and genres. the tbr list keeps growing and it's a reason to live for.

Coming close to finals and the end of the quarter >.< Spent yesterday fighting the procrastination, but I got a good amount of studying done in the end.

Today's plan:

Go to the lab

Finish studying for physics quiz

Review ochem notes

Call mom

🎼: Bored - Deftones

18|04|2025

Slowly crawling back here to post to talk about books, because ngl, I missed it. At the moment, weirdly enough I only have one book on my currently reading and it still is Emily Wilde's Compendium of Lost Tales. This is the third and final book in this series, and despite me being a little over 100 pages into it I am not vibing with it. I loved the previous two books, and flew through them, but I am so stuck with this one. I don't even feel like picking it up. It is partially due to my mental health and energy levels at the moment, but also I feel like it's also this book's fault too. It's been very slow so far and I don't really see where it's going? Not much has happened so far, which also makes me wonder why this book exists in the first place. Maybe this could have been a very good duology? I feel like it's dragging a lot, idk. If someone has read the whole series and can give me some spoiler free opinions that would be lovely. I am really hoping that the plot will start doing something for me, because I want to read so bad, but at the same time this book is not keeping me interested to have a good reading session.

07.04.25

Studying, studying and more studying. Can't complain though, what I'm reading is very interesting. I only wish deadlines didn't exist.

old dutch cities are so beautiful

14/100

Hi... how r u all darlings?

I am not doing so well tbh! my depression coming back with a chokehold on me this time... I am having trouble getting out of bed to say the least... I have been working for this position for a while now and it didn't work out... and everything feels so pointless now... as though it's like I am working but it's not going anywhere... I feel utterly useless and stuck at this moment! today I've no encouraging words to say... I am searching for hope and drive to keep going... maybe this is my factory reset time, and I just need to grit me teeth thru this one!

Sending u lots of hugs and love and comfort! unfortunately, when I am down like this, I tend to spend too much money which doesn't help which in turn makes me feel even worse! Here is hoping for a stronger me with lighter heart tomorrow!

18/04 🍰

Things I did today:

wrote final essay

2 hrs of chemistry

2 hrs of biology

took small nap

30mins reading

Currently trying to catch up on protein synthesis since I was absent that day, also preparing for the organic chemistry test next week (ㆁωㆁ*)

Had a chill day with my sister to make up for this hellish week.

Didn't manage to study MOM or complete the CompSec notes, the report I submitted for PosGeo was an absolute -100, and I have to go to uni on Sunday to try and get something done for the MOM project. So yay ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ

I'm alive though, and yesterday I tried on dresses I never would have tried on before, I ate a bagel at a trendy place, and I had some greek yoghurt with granola at this posh brunch place. Browsed some legos and books, and bought my sister her presents for her birthday. So idk, maybe it's not all about uni and getting good grades or living up to a certain arbitrary standard. I need to be okay with failing, and I need to know life can be good regardless.

Pages stained with coffee rings, thoughts blooming between lines, and light spilling into rooms where art and study meet. A life paced by paragraphs, warmed by stillness.