Its Not Even 2024 Anymore Its Some Other Bullshit Now

if I could, I'd kiss the Oxford comma on the lips

someday I hope to have a wikipedia page. but I want it to be as inaccurate as those weird sketchy websites that make up shit about youtubers

like "minatorypigs is 4'11, 7lbs, and was kicked out of Harvard Law for academic dishonesty in 2009."

when I was a kid, I had this weird fear that one day I would wake up to find that the last few years of my life were a dream and I was like a toddler again

I'm sure you can all imagine how I feel about the idea now

my top 10 favorite (funniest) emojis (on an android/Samsung phone)

10. 😀

lowkey looks traumatized. homie just got told something awful and is still in shock.

9. 😦

previous entry a few moments later

8. 😔

very pitiable shame. like a dog that ripped up the couch. perfect for when someone is mad at me

7. 🤔

hermmmm. usually follows a conspiracy theory

6. 🙂

head empty. or, possibly, full of quiet evil

5. 😏

heh, nothin' personal kid

4. 🤨

3. 🤥

says so much with so little

a liar. but he seems very disappointed in himself

2. 🥸

great for texting incognito. "that message couldn't have come from me, that guy looks nothing like me!"

honorable mention: 😗

was gonna kiss you, but then you said that and now I'm not sure

1. 😱

nothing I will ever text anyone is worthy of the sincere horror seen here. "what if they're out of carrots 😱" unparalleled drama. best read with a loud gasp.

hearing bird noises in the forest compels me to smile, to do a jig in my soul, to stroll with the gaiety of a man reborn

conversely hearing my phone buzz compels me to rot like half a potato fallen behind the stove

yet my ears subject me to both with the same cold efficiency. we live in a fallen world indeed

there's two wolves inside me when I'm writing fanfic:

the wolf that recognizes it's better if I write short fics so I don't get burnt out and actually finish them

and the wolf that remembers that one time the hyperfixation was so strong I wrote 7,000 words in one sitting

I keep agonizing about what my first post should be. But I realized I'm over thinking it. Just gotta be raw. Real. Scream my soul into the void

That's me, baby

yo check this out. Alexa, cure cancer

Alexa-

me, after setting an arbitrary time limit for a wip: what nonsense is this?! how could I ever finish in this time frame?! might as well give up and do it never! never I say!