I Think So Much Lately About Being Diapered, Straitjacketed, And Hooded, And Kept In A Cage For Training

Craig x Tweek x reader x Clyde | South Park poly headcanons

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Warnings/genre: Fluff, polyamorous relationship, romantic, judging/bullying by Cartman

A/N: IVE BEEN MEANING TO MAKE ONE THESE POLY RELATIONSHIP HEADCANONS IN SO LONG LIKE HHH

Also gotta thank my friend for suggesting these characters, ily /p

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• PROTECTIVE BOYFRIENDS™️

• When I say protective boyfriends, I LITERALLY MEAN IT

• Especially Craig and Clyde

• They're both so fkn protective over each other like ????

• Clyde would be like "If someone lays a finger on any of you, tell me immediately, I will beat them up with my fits." And then Craig is like "Agreed, same."

• You and Tweek is just like uhhh 😀

• No but seriously

• They care so much about you, and is always worried if something might happen

• You gotta reassure them by giving them kisses and stuff 🙄 /hj

• I feel like Tweek would always bring coffee to all of you, just as a way of affection

• His parents would also be like "Oh! And bring these snacks with you as well, I bet they'll like them!"

• Clyde is always so flirty and goofy with you all the time

• Sometimes you both would have flirting competitions

• Though, Clyde tends to win most of the times-

• He'd get so flustered if you won though like !!!

• He'd be red as a tomato, no joke

• Sometimes Craig joins for fun, and he would of course win which would make both of you a flustered mess

• Also you guys sometimes flirts with Tweek a lot to make him embarrassed hehe

• I feel like all of you would develop a habit of flipping people off because of Craig

• You think it's funny even though you might end up in trouble

• Cartman would def be judging and bullying you guys like saying

"Is it considered cheating?" "You guys are so weird what the fuck" "You're not allowed to be in a relationship with three people!"

• But you guys just ignore him, or else Craig and Clyde would try to kick some sense into him

• Either way though, the relationship would be so cute!

• I feel like Clyde would be A MASTER at comforting

• If any of you ever felt sad, he's there for you

• Would try to crack some jokes to make you feel better

• Craig is also a good comforter

• He's always there if you need anything

• Would Literally drop everything just to help you out

• Tweek in the other hand would feel a bit anxious and nervous, but would still try to comfort you somehow!

• He'd learn you some methods of calming down, at least what would help him whenever he had a breakdown

• Craig and Clyde would try to talk you through it all while Tweek would sit beside you and give you lots of affection

• THEY ALL LOVE SHOWERING YOU IN AFFECTION!

• Would attack you with kisses, hugs, compliments, cuddles etc. whenever they can

• Loves just hanging out together at one of their homes and just chilling and gossiping about anything while perhaps cuddling

• I'd like to think that you and Tweek are in the middle, while Craig is on Tweeks side and Clyde is on yours

• It always changes though, like Clyde and Tweek in the middle instead because I feel like Tweek prefers being the small spoon

• Definitely would also have a bunch of sleepovers

• I get the feeling that Clyde would make everything so much funnier and stuff

• Like he's always full of ideas and stuff, it never gets boring without him

• Idk why but I hc that Craig is really good at baking and cooking and gives me malewife vibes

• So he would make the snacks and food during sleepovers, and would also ask some of you if you wanted to help

• Also Tweek is good at making drinks

• I mean, his parents does own a coffee shop

• Would come up with new drinks all the time from his parents shop, and would really like you guys to try it!

• He gets so happy when y'all compliment and praises him. It calms down his nerves

• He's always in a better mood the moment he sees you guys

• *Cough* Also you all probably made a long ass Spotify playlist together *COUGH*

• They're just the best dudes out there and is so fun to be with Istg

• It lowkey makes me jealous of how perfect this couple is 😭

Stan the knight who? Mid.

Craig the thief. Our beloved. Get out if you dislike him ughh 🙄 /nsrs

beat beat beat Bye! Beat beat beat in New York I milly rock

Cha cha real smooth🕺🕺🕺🕺

Thinking of sub Xiao whimpering desperately and burying his face into his pillow while you so painfully tease his red, aching cock. Him looking up at you with pleading eyes filled with tears as he begs you to make him cum.

Hey world. I know no one is probably reading this, but hey its just me rambling anyways :) So I have no one to really talk to about stuff anymore. Lost most of my friends recently and just over all I have been going through a lot. Don't know if this is the best place to share this, but I'm hoping that people who can relate to this feel / get to know that they're not alone in this :) Im here if you need to talk to anyone about literally anything.

Life is sucks but we'll get through this together <3

-much love from a sad stranger.

beat beat beat Bye! Beat beat beat in New York I milly rock

kiss it better

bennett x gn! reader

warnings: slight injury

genre: fluff oneshot (1,051 words)

masterlist | make a request

IT WAS RAINY TODAY. Mondstadt's usual clear skies were absent, and the normally bustling city was quiet -- excluding the dim chatter emanating from the warmth of Angel's Share.

You huffed, glaring up at the grey sky that was dropping thick pellets of water onto your cheeks. Your wet hair flicked at the sides of your face as you whipped your head around in search of Bennett.

"Bennett!"

As you exited the gates of Mondstadt, an uncomfortable worry began to settle in your stomach. It wasn't as if Bennett was in any danger (you didn't think so, at least), but it was storming, and you were supposed to meet the boy at the guild an hour ago.

Shoes slipping through the slick mud, you ran. Bennett did have a habit of getting into bad trouble -- and most of the time, you were there when Barbara tended to him. Which was a lot. He got injured a lot.

So, you supposed it was from seeing what could happen to him that made you fear the worst. You really hoped he was okay.

He could be in Wolvendom!

Skidding to a halt, you switched directions and began heading towards the thick trees of Wolvendom. Passing by wolfhooks and the occasional hilichurl (sneakily, of course) you eventually ran into Razor.

"Razor!" you panted, "Oh, thank Barbatos. Have you seen Bennett?"

Razor nodded, thick hair swishing in its path. "Wolfhook for Bennett," he held up the fruit in his hand.

"What!? Is Bennett hurt!?"

Razor nodded again. He then furrowed his brows in confusion at your increased concern.

"Take me to Bennett!"

Razor thought for a moment, as if contemplating of what to say. "Stop worry. Bennett fine."

Your shoulders sagged in relief. You nodded tiredly.

The storm continued as you and Razor walked together, in peaceful conversation. The both of you were shivering slightly from the rain, although Razor insisted that if you ran you'd get rained on just as much.

As Bennett came into view, you almost collapsed with relief. All in one piece, the boy was leaning against a rock wall inside a little cave - a small campfire crackled at his feet.

"Bennett!"

He whipped his head towards you, eyes widening. "[Y/N]! I'm so sorry I didn't make it! I was trying to ge- collect some materials for my sword a-and I ran into a hilichurl camp..." he looked away guiltily. Razor looked confused again.

"Sword? Bennett said materials were--"

"A-Anyway!" Bennett cut the other boy off, clearing his throat.

You crouched in front of him, reaching forward and taking his face in your hands, checking for injuries. "Where are you hurt?"

"Oh, it's no b-biggie! Just a.. ah, graze on my leg."

You lowered your gaze to his leg.

Bennett gulped.

A bloody graze covered the expanse of the front of his shin to his knee, inflamed and irritated.

"Bennett I swear to--"

"It's really fine I swear!"

Razor tapped your shoulder and passed the wolfhook in his hand. "I go hunt."

As Razor scurried off, you sighed. Bennett was never careless, per say, his bad luck just always caused him to get into unfortunate trouble. Usually causing an injury of some kind. Your hands fastened around his ankle, straightening his leg out slowly.

"You don't need to take care of--" he gulped down a small whimper of pain, "--of me. I promise I'm all good!"

"Bennett, seriously."

After cleaning his wound, the two of you sat in silence. His ankle rested by your hand, warmth radiating from his pale skin. The boy awkwardly fiddled with his hands in his lap, blunt nails scratching at his wrist.

You spoke up. "Does it hurt any more?"

Bennett swallowed, "No. No it... you did a good job, thanks!" He smiled brightly.

Your heart fluttered, and though your stomach filled with warmth, the wound on his leg was still looking inflamed. You grabbed his ankle again, tugging lightly and rolling your eyes when he hissed through gritted teeth.

"I-It's fine! I mean, the only thing you could do is kiss it better!" He laughed nervously, "A-And that doesn't even..." he trailed off.

His bright green eyes met yours, and his awkward smile slipped to make way for an almost mesmerised expression.

"Would that make you... feel better?" you muttered.

Bennett stayed silent for a bit, the mesmerised expression morphing into shock. "Yes!" he exclaimed, re-adjusting his posture on the wall eagerly. "I mean...! Yeah... sure... if you want..." he back-pedalled, murmuring quietly.

Shifting forward, you lowered your head to his knee, stopping just above where his wound ended. Your lips softly pressed against the clear skin, lingering. As you pulled back, bright pink flooded Bennett's cheeks.

He stared, wide-eyed, a hand covering his mouth.

"...Better?"

He nodded vigorously before slowly dropping his hand. He surged forward, aiming his lips to yours. Unfortunately, he miscalculated the angle and ended up hitting his forehead straight into your nose. You recoiled, lifting a hand to cradle your now sore nose.

"Crap! I-I'm so sorry [Y/N]! I should've known this would happen-- I-Is your nose okay!?" Bennett fumbled, waving his hands around in apology. "C-Can I see it? I'll make sure it's not broken--"

"You should kiss it better."

He stopped.

A raging blush blanketed his face before he nodded gently, leaning forward. You were close enough that you could feel his hot, laboured breath fanning over your face. Bennett hesitated before pressing his (surprisingly) soft lips to your nose.

You surpassed a laugh at the feeling -- and at your overall disbelief of the situation.

As he pulled back, Bennett let a smile envelop his features as well, leaning his forehead against yours. You let your breath mingle with the other's for a moment longer before reaching up your hand. You rested it against the nape of Bennett's neck, who looked into your eyes.

Slowly, you brought him forward -- and your lips collided. They moulded together perfectly, the both of you moving in perfect sync with one another. Bennett leaned into you, chasing your lips. You smiled into the kiss, feeling his lips do the same.

The clearing of a throat broke the two of you apart. Razor stared, unimpressed. "I have hunt. Boar." He dangled the piece of meat from his hand.

"Thanks, Razor..."